'AITA for not moving our destination wedding to the United States?'
"AITA for not moving our destination wedding to the United States?"
My fiancé and I are getting married next March 2025 in Greece. We have had this wedding planned since October of last year. My fiancés brother’s girlfriend just found out a couple of weeks ago she is pregnant and is due around that time.
Mother-in-law now wants us to have the wedding in the U.S., because he can’t go since it’s close to her due date, and she doesn’t want to go since it’s close to her due date. We’ve had the venue booked for almost a year now and have put a lot of money into the wedding (a good portion is non refundable).
We have 9 people that have already booked their flights for the wedding. I told her that we can't cancel anything because not only will we lose out on a lot of money, but so will some of our guests who already booked flights. She is very upset and now not speaking to me and my fiance and calling us selfish.
Obviously, if we had known this way prior we wouldn’t have booked it around then, but we have had it booked since October of last year and the venue we got is our dream venue and very hard to get.
We even told her if they can’t make it we would be willing to have a small reception in the U.S when we are back so we can celebrate with them. Now we also have his brother and his girlfriend messaging us calling us selfish for not moving the wedding, and because Greece is a place he’s always wanted to go and now can’t go...
...and that we are taking away from their moment, and we should move the month (which again we explained we would lose out on a lot of money and so would our guests that already got their tickets. Am I the ahole for not moving it to the US or cancelling the wedding?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
atealein said:
NTA. Give them a list of how much money it will cost you for the non-refundable part and the estimate to refund the tickets for the guests that have already booked them.
Ask them if they are willing to pay that up - it is not that you don't want to move the wedding, it is literally tens of thousands of dollars. People calling other people selfish for not wanting to move events scheduled for half a year...really have no self-awareness.
Old_Ardy said:
NTA. Sometimes life gets in the way of things and people need to change their plans. They do not get to dictate to others that others need to change established plans to accommodate them. Enjoy Greece.
rosezoeybear said:
NTA. They knew your date when she got pregnant. If BIL wanted to go to Greece they should have used birth control.
TemptingPenguin369 said:
NTA. You're not "taking away from their moment" — you are having your own moment. Lots of times people can't make it to a destination wedding for assorted different reasons.
The brother and his pregnant girlfriend should have politely declined your invitation and told you their reason rather than expect you to change your long-settled plans.
WaterSheepLover01 said:
NTA - it's your wedding, it is for you. They are not the center of attention, you are. I understand wanting to facilitate things as much as possible for your guests, but this isn't some mandatory presence event.
You do not have to accommodate everyone if it costs you your dream wedding. They are selfish and evil and they do not respect you for acting that way.
PM_ME_SANDWICH said:
NTA. It is ironic that they are calling you selfish for not changing your wedding when in reality they are the selfish ones for expecting someone to change their wedding for them.
GorillaP1mp said:
NTA…not even close. The fact they even ask you to cancel and move is completely out of line. It stinks they won’t be able to attend, but that’s on them.