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'Selfish' woman refuses to babysit during vacation, 'she never asks for favors.' AITA?

'Selfish' woman refuses to babysit during vacation, 'she never asks for favors.' AITA?


"AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids during my vacation?"

I (27F) have been planning a much-needed vacation for months. I work a demanding job, and this vacation is my chance to relax and recharge. My sister (30F) has three young children, and she reached out to me last week asking if I could babysit them for a few days while she and her bf going on a weekend getaway.

I politely explained to her that I've been looking forward to this vacation for a long time and that I really need this break. I told her I wouldn't be comfortable taking on the responsibility of looking after her kids during my time off.

Well, my sister didn't take it well. She accused me of being selfish and uncaring, arguing that family should always be there for each other. She even tried guilt-tripping me, saying she never asks for favors and that I'm abandoning her in her time of need.

I stood my ground and told her that while I love my nieces and nephews, my vacation is crucial for my well-being, and I shouldn't have to sacrifice it for her last-minute request.

Now, the entire family is divided. Some are supporting me, recognizing the importance of self-care, while others are siding with my sister, claiming I'm being heartless and should prioritize family over personal desires. AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids during my long-awaited vacation, or should I have put my plans aside to help her out?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

mfruitfly said:

NTA. Just like your sister would like a break, you would like a break. The difference is you took the time to PLAN your vacation, and now your sister wants to use your planning to her benefit. This also isn't a "time of need" for her, it is just a time of want.

To the family that believes you should be helping your sister, well they can volunteer to babysit! If and when they let you know that you should have agreed to babysit, simply say "Oh I'll let sister know you feel that way and that you can probably babysit then, since you would prioritize family so can make the time to help."

Your sister doesn't need the same vacation time as your days off, she is simply not doing the work of coordinating time away for her. She could easily ask you, her friends, and other family members when are some days you could all help out with a long weekend, and you may even have been willing to take a day off of work to help look after them, but not on your planned vacation.

Substantial-Roll-860 said:

NTA. This is not "her time of need" - it's her time of want. I'm sure if she were having a medical emergency or something, you would have dropped everything. You both need a break. Neither of your breaks should deprive the other of hers. And how can she call you selfish, since you both want the same thing?

RoyallyOakie said:

NTA...It's bizarre that your sister recognizes her own need for time away, but completely disregards yours. Your time is your own, and that's why babysitters exist. Concerned family members are free to offer childcare if they feel so strongly about it.

FuzzyMom2005 said:

NTA. Those people telling you to step up can do the stepping up themselves.

ApprehensiveCream571 said:

NTA. When your sister or a family member says you should do this for her, ask them in a calm serious voice "Why is X more important than me?" Look them dead in the eye when you ask the question.

Also, any one of the persons that agrees with your sister can also babysit for her. Because clearly they (and she) are prioritizing self over family (you).

SatelliteBeach123 said:

NTA. Well you're family too and she certainly doesn't care about your time and your need to recharge. You love the kids but they are not your problem. You deserve a vacation too and taking on 3 kids is NOT restful. The other family members that are screaming "but they're FFFAAMMILLLY" can step up and do the babysitting.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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