'Selfish' woman refuses to let her brother's fiancée wear her late mother’s wedding dress. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to let my brother’s fiancée wear my late mother’s wedding dress?"
I (32F) lost my mom four years ago. It was devastating, and I inherited a lot of her things, including her wedding dress. My mom and I were incredibly close, and she always talked about how much she wanted me to wear her dress when I got married. I’m not married yet, but I’ve been saving the dress for my special day.
My brother (29M) is getting married next year, and his fiancée (28F) recently asked if she could wear my mom’s wedding dress. She said it would mean a lot to her because she never got to meet my mom, and she wants to feel connected to her on the big day.
I understand that it’s a sweet gesture, but I don’t feel comfortable with her wearing something that’s so sentimental to me, especially since my mom always wanted me to wear it. When I told her I wasn’t okay with it, she got upset and said I was being selfish.
Now my brother is upset with me too, saying it’s “just a dress” and that I’m ruining their wedding over something that’s not a big deal. I offered to help her find a similar dress or even incorporate a piece of my mom’s dress into her own gown, but she refused.
Our family is now divided, with some saying I’m in the right and others saying I should let it go for the sake of family harmony. AITA for refusing to let her wear the dress?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Jocelyn-1973 said:
NTA. If it were "just a dress" like your brother says, your future SIL wouldn't make such a big deal out of your refusal. This is your dress to wear some day - or not. But it is your special connection. Not hers.
notentirely_fearless said:
It's funny how, when someone doesn't get what they want, suddenly you're the one being selfish. NTA.
stphn323 said:
Nta. I would hide the dress at a trusted friends house until after the wedding. The rest of the family can kick rocks, this isn’t their dress so they have no say on the matter.
Cali-GirlSB said:
NTA. No is a complete sentence. You don't have to explain yourself to no one except your brother. Tell him your reasons and how it's emotional for you because it was YOUR MOM'S. "Bro, this is my hill to die on. This was our MOM's dress. It's now mine and I said no. End of discussion." Tell all of your relatives to back the F off.
SuspiciousZombie788 said:
NTA. They just want a cheap wedding dress option. If it’s not a big deal, she can find another dress.
fckinsleepless said:
NTA. Your mom, your dress, your decision. She can wear a piece from the dress or a piece of jewelry or something else representative of your mom.
Mommabroyles said:
NTA she has zero connection to your mom. She never even met her, the dress isn't going to change that. Keep the dress and wear it for yourself. Make sure you have it somewhere it won't come up missing before the wedding.