'AITA for selling my late wife’s cake recipe to a bakery?' 'I am wondering if I really am a jerk.'
"AITA for selling my late wife’s cake recipe to a bakery?"
My late wife passed 3 years ago, our two kids were in their late 20s at the time. It's been a hard few years and it is even harder now that I live alone. She had a lovely dark chocolate cherry cake. It was my favorite thing that she would make and I always requested it for Father's Day.
I am a sh$t baker and I have tried to remake it from her notes. The notes are not very clear and it never turns out correct. It is depressing spending so much time and it being wrong.
I have asked my two kids to try and make it but they have refused to. I was told that they will not figure out the recipie and to stop asking. I went to a local bakery and asked for them to figure it out.
They agreed as long as I gave them the permission to sell the cake in the store. It didn't take them long to figure it out and it is almost exactly the same to my wife's. I bought one for Father's Day and my kids were happy about the cake until I told them the bakery did it.
They are pissed I would sell their mother's recipe to a bakery. This whole week they have been telling me how I am a jerk for this and I am wondering if I really am a jerk. I just wanted to eat her cake again.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Only-Ingenuity7889 said:
I'd think of this as a way for your wife to live on in what she created to bring happiness to others. It's not like you did it for the money. Would the bakery consider using your wife's name as part of the item name? NTA.
Active-Anteater1884 said:
NTA. It's funny. My mom died without leaving a complete recipe for one of my favorite dishes. The basic recipe was there, but she must have had a "pinch of this, dash of that" in her head, because the recipe never tastes like what my mom made. I totally get wanting to have that taste again.
When your kids didn't want to try, you took matters into your own hands. Nothing wrong with that. And frankly, if your kids weren't ever going to make the cake, I'm not sure what their beef is about the bakery making it.
Numerous-Yogurt6019 said:
NTA I literally hate the idea behind family secret recipes. It seems incredibly egotistical and self centered. Further, no one else was making it and at least now her good cake can be shared with other people instead of just being forgotten about.
FindAriadne said:
NTA! And, grief is complicated, and it sounds like they are taking out some of their sadness and anger on you. The thing about grief is it is very unpredictable. It might be best to apologize for accidentally causing those feelings, just to provide them with a little bit of validation, even though you have nothing to feel bad about. None of this process has to be logical, because grief isn’t logical either.
I DO think the bakery should be giving you that cake for free once a year on your anniversary instead of making you buy it. It doesn’t even sound like you sold the recipe, you just gave them the right to sell the recipe.
Which means now a lot of people will be able to taste her cake. That’s pretty sweet, no pun intended. Also, I love the idea below of asking them to name the cake after your wife.
Phoenix612 said:
NTA. Do your kids understand that you gave them the unusable recipe, and in return, you now have a useable recipe? If they didn’t want to fiddle with the recipe I’d think they would be glad you found a solution. Maybe they think you sold it for money and they find that offensive?
lihzee said:
NTA. Your children have no right to complain about this - they were fine with it when they were enjoying the cake, weren't they? They didn't want to attempt the recipe, the bakery did. Everyone gets to have cake again.