"AITA for selling the concert ticket I bought my friend because she can’t pay me back?"
I (19F) recently bought Ariana Grande tickets ($103 each, CA) for myself and 3 other friends who were planning to attend together. Friend 3 was iffy about paying me back because her initial budget was $80-90.
F3 asked if she could pause paying me back bc she didn’t have $105 to give me. She had >$1k in her spendings this July, and I know that she spends $20 lunch daily. We had a plan established since the presale was announced, so I don’t understand why she wasn’t prepared to pay?
I offered for her to pay me $20 for 5 months…she said she could TRY to do that. I bugged her about paying me multiple times, and she said she’d pay me when she got home. I never got $20.
Yesterday, one of my friends who lives in CO was unable to get tickets, and I told her that I had a ticket that was still unpaid for. (One of the first things I told F3 was that I’m reselling if she cant pay, but I didn’t explicitly tell CO I was reselling). CO offered me $200 for the ticket, (I won't up charge her) and I told CO I’d likely sell the ticket if F3 is unable to pay/provide me an explicit payment plan.
I text F3 telling her I’m uncomfortable with her owing me so much money without telling me how she’s paying me back. She misunderstood me on receiving payment and took it personally like I’m choosing CO over her (context F3 and I are bffs). we went back and forth for 5 hours.
She kept contradicting herself, saying she could pay me $50 now and $50 next month because she doesn’t want to see herself spend $100 in one sitting since she feels bad spending $100 in a day.
I asked her where the $50 is coming from since earlier she told me she even have that money, and she ignored that. I kept asking her for an actual payment plan I could trust her to do but she kept dodging my questions.
I ended up telling her that because she couldn’t give me a definitive answer, I felt more comfortable taking CO’s upfront payment. She called me unfair because I gave her a day to pay, but we had this planned for like 3 weeks.
Her thing about not paying me the whole amount I paid for tickets is that she doesn’t want to see $100 come out of her bank account when I spent $400+ on tickets?? (I’m a student, unemployed, and partially paying my own tuition).
Anyway, I just want opinions on what I should do or say to her. This is still going on, and I completely understand where she is coming from too emotionally, but I’m confused. Currently, her last message says she’s confused about me selling the ticket because she told me she could pay me back...
(But when I asked her countless times how she's doing that she failed to answer and her response to her “payment plan” changed every time I asked). Note: *F3 is going bc of FOMO, she doesn’t like Ari&her new album which the tour is centered around.
(While I believe she’d eventually pay me back…I also believe she’d cut corners to pay me back and just delay the payment in general. I spoke to friend 2 about this and she agrees, but i just still feel bad and don’t want to lose a friendship over this.)
Here's what people had to say to OP:
TheMagicCat0622 said:
She was never going to pay you for the ticket. You did the right thing. In the future she pays for her own stuff up front. If you do not have a future with this friend because of this that's okay too. You know the type of person she is. It's your choice to continue to hang out with her or not.
grumpybadger456 said:
NTA - she feels bad about spending $100 in a day, but doesn't feel bad at all that you have paid $100 for her ($400 for all of the tickets) in one day and now have no idea when you will get her share. I'd happily sell that ticket, and consider this a warning to never never pay anything upfront or mix money into this friendship again.
Individual_Metal_983 said:
She is happy for you to be out of pocket whilst spending $20 a day on lunch. NTA sell to the person who can pay. Personally if the other is such a good friend I would give her at cost and not marked up.
archetyping101 said:
NTA. You've been more than generous with timing and payment. My policy with friends is if I'm responsible to buy tickets for stuff, once I pay for them and they're ready to be divvied up, you must have payment ready.
If you do not and we did not make previous arrangements, that's MY money and thus MY ticket because you can't afford it. She knew you were buying them and should have prepared for it. $20/day for lunch and if she made sandwiches etc at home, she could have paid you in 6 work days.
Woodpog said:
NTA OP. The fact that she's delaying payment over $103 says a lot. You did the right thing OP, because 5 months should be way more than enough to pay $103.
Mysterious-Bag-5283 said:
NTA if she doesn't pay for this ticket it still you. Your give her enough time to pay but she doesn't. Sell the tickets and enjoy concert without her.
mrdumbazcanb said:
NTA, your friend obviously has money and is just dodging you on payment. If she didn't want to go, she doesn't have to go.
Playful_Robot_5599 said:
NTA. If she feels bad about spending $100 at once, she can't purchase a ticket. It's not like she's doing you a favor.