"WIBTA if I sent my wife’s NSFW texts to the guy she was cheating with’s wife?"

Well I found out that my wife has been cheating on me. In her opinion, it is not cheating because she didn’t actually sleep with him. She just has been sending messages about what they want to do to each other and sending pics. Cheating in my book.

They way I finally found out was by going through her phone. She had been acting strangely and trying to hide things, her story would change about things. I never thought I would become the crazy psycho husband that goes though their S/O’s phone but here we are.

The reason I’m posting though, is should I send a copy of the texts to this guys wife. I feel like she deserves to know. As sick to my stomach I feel right now, it’s better that not knowing. My wife said that this is between us and I would be an @$$hole if I ruined their marriage as well.

I’m not here to know that my wife is the worst, I figured that one out. But what I want to know? Would I be the @$$hole if I sent the texts? I’m pretty sure I’m going to do it.

EDIT: I have said this in a few comments but I figured I would put it here. I do not of pictures of anybody. The pics were sent over Snapchat so thank goodness I didn’t have to see them. I only have text messages back and forth between them talking about what they would do if they were in person and the like.

So if I sent anything it would just be a message and I probably would pick one of the less explicit and disgusting ones. Just enough that it’s clear what’s going on.

What do you think? AITA? Or would he be justified in texting his wife's "affair partner's" wife? This is what top commenters had to say:

ohmydearlucia said:

NTA. Let the wife decide for herself if this does or does not count as cheating.

KorsiBear said:

Nta, dude's wife deserves to know. Also your wife says "you" would be the one ruining the other marriage?? Nope. The 2 cheaters ruined 2 marriages, that's solely on them and nobody else.

unfettered_silence said:

NTA. But don't start by sending over a copy to the texts. Break the news to the guy's wife, and then ask if she wants to see them. Receiving copies of the conversation out of the blue could be devastating.

And StrykerVeritas said:

NTA. Send every single text in a group message with all 4 of you in It. If it’s “no big deal,” then he/his wife will be cool with it. Right? I hate this for you, OP. best of luck. And don’t buy in to her gaslighting “it’s not cheating since I only slept with him in my mind” BS. It WAS cheating. Period. Best of luck.

A week later, he shared this update:

It has been a week since I found the texts between them. I have since cooled off and now I’m in more of a depressive funk rather than the angry rage from before. But I have decided that I am not going to get in touch with the other man's wife. Some of you said that I would be the @$$hole if I did it for selfish reasons, some of you said I would actually be the @$$hole if I didn’t do it because she deserves to know.

My reasoning is that I just don’t want to think about it anymore and I’m doing my best to move on. If that makes me selfish and the @$$hole, so be it.

Do you think he made the right decision?