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'AITA for sending a price sheet to my family after not being invited to my half sister's wedding?' UPDATED

'AITA for sending a price sheet to my family after not being invited to my half sister's wedding?' UPDATED

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'AITA for sending a price sheet to my family after not being invited to my half sister's wedding?'

Let's get straight to the point, I (22F) am a full-time baker for a small business and college student. I moved back up to my home state in September of 2023, mostly to get away from my toxic family and for better opportunities.

Also to add why this is even an issue in the first place, My brother Jay(25M) and I are the "black sheep" of the family, mostly due to the fact we were born and mostly raised outside of marriage. The teasing and neglect only grew worse after our mother (44F) married Jerkfish (54M) and had our half siblings; (20F), (17M), (16M), and (11M).

Now, here's the dilemma. My half-sister who we will call Jojo(20F) is getting married to Rhitt(22M) in July. My mom and grandma asked that I make them a wedding cake, which I would've happily agreed to if I was invited to the wedding.

The thing is, they wanted me to make a cake fit for 200 people, get a hotel near them (They hate that I'm not a Christian, so they think I'll bring evil into their house), work for 3 days, and get a flight there and back. I'd have to pay for all of it, they think it'd be a nice gift to my sister.

I just laughed and sent them my price sheet. They flipped. out. I was bombarded with texts from them about how selfish I am, how I am truly vile, how I am toxic for expecting my family to pay for my cake when they could just go to Walmart to get one, etc...

Jojo even messaged me on discord a week after I had sent the price sheet and asked why I would charge her when I made my best friend a free wedding cake. I simply told her to f off as not only was I invited to her wedding, but I was the MOH and in a way it was a "returning the favor" for being a genuinely good friend and helping me out when I was going through a lot.

Jay and his wife had said I'm not wrong for it and they'd do the same thing, and my boyfriend is on my side. However, a few people in my life are saying I should've just said a simple no instead of sending the sheet and that my response to my sister was harsh. So, I need an outside perspective, hopefully other bakers on here too. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

sunlightofourpast said:

So family should get a free cake but not be invited to a wedding? Make it make sense. Maybe since they’re so religious you could send them links to Christian bakers. Therefore the cake would be blessed and not be made from the hands of a “heathen." NTA.

ReviewOk929 said:

NTA. They wanted a free cake when they treat you like sh*t. A cake for 200 people!! Expected you to pay for flights, a hotel and ingredients. Yeah sending the price sheet seems about right for their attitude towards you...

DueIsland2983 said:

Were I in your shoes, I woudln't even make a cake for these people if they DID pay me for it; if you aren't good enough to stay in their house and aren't good enough to be invited to the wedding then you aren't close enough to be expected to give them a free cake. They can't have it both ways; either you're family and are invited to the wedding or you aren't treated as family and don't owe them freebies. NTA.

dncrmom said:

NTA so they wanted you to fly out & bake a cake from where exactly? Your hotel room since you are not welcome in their home? Were you supposed to pack your cake pans & supplies in your carry on??

And to top it off even though 200 people would be at the wedding, you are not invited?? What are they smoking that they thought this was a good idea?? Your response was not harsh enough!

Otherwise-Shallot-51 said:

NTA. If they're going to treat you as nothing more than their baker, then you are well within your right to treat them as nothing more than potential customers.

Trick_Delivery4609 said:

NTA. "Sorry, the devil's food cake I was planning to make for her wedding would go up in flames as it entered your reception area. I'm just looking out for you guys. Lose my number."

UPDATE:

I found out the exact reason for my brother's family and I not getting invited. Three months after my sister and her soon-to-be husband got engaged, my grandmother requested my sister not invite "the sinners". It was more along the lines of: "If you don't invite your siblings you'll get a hefty portion of my will."

Don't really know what the proper term for that is, but I digress. So, my sister is catering to the needs of my racist grandmother over her own sisters. I also found out another reason(out of the many) why my brother and I where black sheep in the family. So, you see. my mother is whiter than paper.

My brother and i's biological father is Lakota/Sioux native American. We were told he just left us "because that's how the savages act." when in reality, our dad died from a terminal raspatory illness that he had since he was a toddler. Some cyst type of deal? Not too sure.

The hatred from them only grew further when my brother married a black woman and had my 3 nieces together. (Fourth on the way). I told jojo how hurt I was by picking money over family but I kinda expected it. She tried to offer me $50 to make the cake she wanted and I just declined.

I shared this post with my brother and he is rolling while reading the comments. Also, to the people who dm'ed me to tell me that they hope i go out of business (My boss says hi btw) and that I deserved getting abused as child because I'm a snot now... F off. :) Stay awesome and brutal as ever, internet strangers. Thank you for all of the support.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family wedding drama?

Sources: Reddit
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