'AITA for sending my mom fake pictures of my son because she refused to stop sharing them on social media?'
"AITA for sending my mom fake pictures of my son because she refused to stop sharing them on social media?"
I have a six year old son. When he was born I shared his pictures with a group of people I trusted. This included my mother. The entire group knew that my husband and I did not want these shares publicly.
My mom shared them on her Facebook to everyone. I stopped sharing with her at all. We live on different continents so that's the only way she would have gotten to see him. Except when we visit back and forth.
We recently had our second child. My mom begged for pictures. I made her promise not to share them I said that I was only sending to her and that I would know if she shared them.
Then I generated a bunch of pictures and sent them to her. Within a week I found them on my aunt's Facebook. I called my mom and asked WTF. She said it wasn't her fault because she didn't post them. I asked her how my aunt got them and she shut up.
Problem came up though. One of my cousins pointed out that all the pictures were generated. My mom got mad that I had sent her fake pictures and demanded real ones.
I declined since she obviously can't be trusted. This is causing stress in my family and friends back home. Some think I'm wrong for being so obsessive about my children's images online. Some think I was a jerk for sending take pics.
Most understand why I did what I did.
But some of them still think I'm being cruel to my mom.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Absolute power move. NTA. That's hilarious. She needs to respect your boundaries regarding your children's privacy.
Too bad your cousin spoiled the fun. It would have been priceless if she lived in that fake bubble forever. NTA. You handled the whole thing in a most efficient and funniest way. Props to you OP.
My daughter asks the same her other mil would post now she sends only photos to her with no face kids are shot from behind, faces in shadow with big sun hats, hidden by the pet, etc. her mil took hers even further entering her baby in a national baby contest lol.
Existing-Court-6526 (OP)
I like this idea.
I love that idea too! If she complains that she "never sees their faces" you can then start drawing her pictures of your children. Round circle face, dot eyes, squiggly hair, ect... remind Mom you're a budding artist and it may take a few years of lessons to learn how to draw portraits accurately.
But she's welcome to post your artwork progress on her 'fridge. After all it's a parents job to encourage your artistic endeavors. Collages, cubism, surrealism, pointalism, mixed media, I'm sure your creativity will blossom. If she cant respect your rules she doesn't get cool grandparent things like a custom canvas tote bag with your kiddos smiling face on it. Or a throw pillow with their pictures on it.
My mom had throw pillows made with the dogs faces on them and asked if I could make her a set with the grandkids so they didn't feel left out. Hilariously the kids love the pillows so much! And not once have they accidentally or on purpose been posted online.
My son is a police officer. He made it very clear that posting pics of his newborn son was not permitted. He told me that he's discovered through his job that peados will use ANYTHING to get a sick kick out of it, especially pictures of little ones on social media. Remember, once an image is online, it's public property. Tell your mother thus and make her stop!
This is called matching energy. You paid your mother back in kind. She was untrustworthy, and you adapted your behavior based on her actions. NTA.
NTA - I don’t think enough parents think about the consequences of posting not only photos but “funny” stories about their kids online. Most of them didn’t grow up with social media and don’t realise once that is on the internet, it’s there forever. You don’t know which sites will have breaches, even if you only share privately.
There are so many sick people out there. Your child can’t consent to their images being online and you can’t take it back once they’re out there. I think you’re doing an amazing job as a parent and you have your boundaries spot on.
I agree with your points! But I think many parents of young children did grow up with social media. Myspace got big around 2005, so someone who was 13 then is now 34.
Social media was not as ubiquitous until everyone got smartphones, but that was only a few years after that. Parents in their 20s grew up with it and should understand the problems with sharing info and photos online.
My dad was like this. We don’t talk anymore because of his blatant disregard for my simple request to protect my child. I’m embarrassed I didn’t think of such a tactic in sharing fake images 😂 NTA. Protect your children ♥️
NTA! Had the Same Situation with my MIL when our first son was born. She's playing all Kind of Games on Facebook and is Friends with hundreads of Strangers, that have Zero Business in knowing about my childs existence. We live in scary Times, there is nothing wrong with keeping your child and it's privacy Safe.
As a parent, I am 100% with you on no kids photos online. With the world as it is right now I don't want ANYONE outside the family circle to have photos of my kid. If I found out someone was sharing my kids pics around, I'd be furious. Love the generated photos idea! Stick to your guns, defo NTA!