'AITA for sending my SIL's TikToks to family group chat causing her an anxiety attack?' UPDATED

"AITA for sending my SIL's tiktoks to family group chat causing her an anxiety attack?"

When I(28f) first met my sister in law Anne (30) I heard about her having a tiktok account based around her looking after her old/disabled cats but don’t use tiktok so I never checked it out.

That was until my husbands niece asked to meet for coffee to talk. At first she asked me how I was doing mentally and what I had against my brothers girlfriend Anne. I was beyond clueless because I thought we (me&anne) were ok relationship wise, now don’t get me wrong I haven’t spoke to her much because I’m extremely busy but other than that I couldn’t think of anything.

She pulled out her phone and showed me multiple tiktoks of anne telling her followers about my "just no family." I’ll just list a few things:

- my mother being so bad of a "just no mil" they had to get a restraining order against her.

- I demanded my kids play with her cats and had a tantrum when she said no. I’m a nurse so you know I’ve seen what happens when kids mistreated animals

-I’m dependent on my brother and demand he gives me all his time/money.

-me and my mother call everything she does in life shameful because she’s not modest or religious like us.

The last and worse is that I’m anti everything thing which as a nurse could have cost me my job

I ended up making an account downloaded all the videos and sent them to the family group chat you can imagine what happened next but instead of giving an answer both my bother and sil blocked everyone . Anyone in my family who had the app followed her “cat” account but were blocked on her main, my cousin ended up making a tiktok debunking her videos but her account was already gone

My brother ended calling me screaming down the phone about his girlfriend having an anxiety attack and I should have come to them first. Apparently he said she makes up those stories for views so she can become a creator and it also helps with her anxiety. he said if anything ever got out of hand they would go on the record about it being made up.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

TheQuixoticTribble said:

NTA. She doesn't get to rip apart everybody's reputation with made up stories for popularity.

bubbleuj said:

NTA what was her plan if you lost your job because of her lies and then sued her for libel.

OP responded:

I asked my brother about that he couldn’t answer me

handydandy2020 said:

NTA. Well it DID get out. So where are they to own up to lying?

OP responded:

Outside of the angry phone call my brother gave me as far as I know they haven’t spoken to anyone and they have taken down all their social media

And Think_Resort_8346 said:

Do you seriously wonder if you’re the AH? Like honestly how does anyone dealing with this think they’re in the wrong?

Could you have gone to your bro and sil? Sure. But we’re not talking one little lie. We’re talking a bunch of outright whoppers. So I could imagine someone in that situation feeling like “wtf?! If I ask about it I’m likely to be lied to bc these are a sh!t ton of HUGE lies about me” Plus, the lies weren’t just about you, so I can understand sharing the info with family.

You know what caused your SIL’s anxiety attack? SHE PUBLICLY TOLD HUGE EFFING LIES ABOUT PEOPLE AND GOT CAUGHT!!!!! That’s what caused it. Her getting caught. So who’s fault is that? HERS!!! Why would you let anything your spineless brother say make you think you’re somehow the AH? Your brother btw is a special piece of work knowing his gf was spreading libel online and was ok with it.

She later shared this update:

Thank you for all your advice especially other nurses and Heath care workers. I didn’t reply because I was got too busy than fell asleep the minute I came home but I’ve talked to the Chief Nursing Officer and showed her the tiktoks.

she basically laughed at the obvious lies and like many people here told me take some kind of legal action so if someone tries to “cancel” me I’d have a paper trail proving the lies that my coworker/medical info couldn’t. I’ve told my brother this and I also said I want sister in law to make a tiktok saying everything was false.

My sister refused to do anything even tried to get my cousins tiktok account banned for bullying and said we are causing her emotional distress.

Her relationship with my family is over because when the aunties turn against you in my culture that’s it there’s no coming back. Brother and Anne are now trying to make themselves the victim but have yet to come back to social media so I will probably have more updates in the coming weeks/months