Deaf student suspended after substitute teacher forcibly removes cochlear implants. AITA? UPDATED 2X
"AITA for shouting at a teacher after she took my CI’s in class?"
Before getting in to this, a little background information is needed. I (17M) was born deaf to a hearing family. My family and I sign at home but I need to speak while at school as the high school I go to isn’t the most accessible or disability friendly.
When I was nine, my parents paid for me to get a surgery to receive cochlear implants (CI’s) which I only really use when at school or out with my hearing friends that don’t sign. I attend a mainstream school and as I stated, it isn’t disability friendly. Now, onto the situation at hand.
Yesterday I was wearing a beanie in class. Now, usually that wouldn’t be a problem when it is my normal teacher but yesterday we had a sub. The beanie I was wearing was covering the transmitter of my CI, while the part that hooks onto my ear was noticeable.
I know that there are quite a lot of kids that tend to get into trouble because they’d wear AirPods or whatever devices people use nowadays for music that aren’t headphones, mainly because those aren’t allowed in classes.
Usually, my teachers are aware of my CI and know that it in fact is not a music device so I never have any trouble but this was a sub teacher, she wasn’t aware of my CI’s at first. Keep in mind that ‘at first’.
While doing some assignments, this sub who we’ll call Mrs K, came up to my desk. I don’t know what exactly she thought my CI’s were but she didn’t like them. Originally, she questioned me and told me to remove them immediately or she’d have to write me up.
I explained to her, made her very aware that what I was wearing were for me to hear her and even took off my beanie to show her. She pretty much called BS and attempted to take my CI’s off. This was an absolute no-no. I, on instinct, slapped her hands away and stood up before starting to lecture her, telling her she has no right to try and take my CI’s.
After this little stir, I sat back down, thinking that the situation was most likely over. I was wrong. A little bit afterwards, she came up from behind me and literally snatched my CI’s from off my head.
After this I got up yet again and started full on yelling at this lady, telling her that she is not allowed to take assistive devices and threatened to report her. I know in this situation, me getting physical wasn’t the right response but I was scared as hell that she’d break them so I grabbed her hands and tried to get my CI’s back, which I didn’t.
Of course after that she called the principal in and me having no clue what the hell was being said, I just straight up told the principal that she took my CI’s and isn’t giving them back.
In the end, I got my CI’s back, but obviously due to me putting my hands on a staff member I got suspended and my principal said I was in the wrong for the situation. My dad is threatening to report this sub teacher to the administration. So, AITA?
The OP then quickly returned with an update.
Okay so I’ve been trying to read all the comments but there has been a lot so bear with me please. I also haven’t been focused on replying to comments as much as I’ve been focused on reading them so I will start replying to comments. This update isn’t necessarily on what my parents plan on doing as I haven’t figured that out yet so this will most likely be a short update.
First off, I’ve seen some people talk about how this is a brand new account with no previous history. The reason for that is because this isn’t my main account, I made this one for this post so that I could keep myself anonymous as my friends and some outer family know of my actual account. It’s kind of a ‘I don’t want this to be traced back to me’ thing.
Second, I’ve seen a lot of people asking for my school name and where I live. I will say right now that that will be a no. For my own safety and also as a minor, sharing that kind of information scares me and might even put me at risk, I don’t know. But also as I said above, I want to keep myself anonymous, that being for my own safety and my family’s safety.
Third, a couple comments mentioned how I’m probably bigger and stronger than the sub so I was most likely perceived as intimidating. This topic actually made me think about that so for a little information on that, I’m 5’9 and I do in fact work out so I do understand where some people are coming from when they say I might be intimidating to the sub. Though this information probably doesn’t mean much, there you go.
Next, my main purpose for posting this was to get some advice as to what I should do more than if I was the AH. In some areas of the situation, I do see that I was in the wrong while some other areas I don’t think I was wrong, but sometimes your mind can play tricks on you and make you think you did too much.
One thing I do know about this whole thing is that my parents are going to be confronting the administration and report the teacher, and from my parents reading your comments, the principal as well also they're going to try and get my suspension removed from my record.
I also know that my parents are done with me going to a mainstream school, because believe it or not, I’ve dealt with plenty of similar situations like this with students rather than teachers and my parents are pretty sick of it (me as well) so they want me to go to a deaf high school whether all this hopefully won’t be a problem.
But the issue with that is that there isn’t a deaf school in the area I live so they’re wanting to move, though with the economy we live in, I don’t know how well that will work out.
If you have any questions, please let me know. This update was longer than I anticipated even though it isn’t necessarily an update but rather a quick informative thing about some things I’ve been seeing in the comments. I’ll make sure to give an actual update once I find out what my parents plan on doing regarding lawsuits and all that.
The OP then returned with another update.
So my parents talked to me yesterday about what they plan on doing but I didn’t want to update immediately cause I kind of just wanted to process the information first and hang out with my friends.
So, for starters, a lot of your guys’ comments were helpful so I thank you all for your advice and other helpful suggestions. It helped my parents come up with some ideas of what to do and how to proceed for the future.
To start off, my parents do in fact plan on taking legal action against the sub and the school. Legal actions against the substitute because of what she did and then legal actions against the school for not reprimanding her as well as continuing to let me be bullied throughout the three years I’ve attended this school (regardless of how many times we’ve reported it).
I have a couple of my friends that will give input about what happened as they were there and saw what happened so hopefully there isn’t any chances of the substitute working at that school again. Don’t get mad at my friends for not sticking up for me, my friends are very quiet and don’t like to confront things.
With further education, my parents don’t want me going to mainstream schools anymore so they are pulling me out of the school I’ve been going to and then I’m going to do some online work until we move to an area with a deaf school.
I’ve gotten some information from people about some deaf schools in the US so my parents have been looking into those schools. (Please if you have any other information/suggestions about deaf schools within the US, let me know because that’d be great)
Due to us taking legal action, this post will most likely be taken down shortly so I do apologize if this gets deleted. Even though this is an alternate account, I don’t want to take any chances with anything getting led back to me or being used against me. This will most likely be my last update. Again, thank you all for the advice you’ve given and the support. I really appreciate it.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA, and the school shouldn't do anything to you. Your dad should look for a good lawyer and sue the school and the substitute.
NTA She took your medical device after you explained it. That’s not just wrong it’s dangerous. Your dad’s right to take action.
NTA. That just might be illegal under the ADA. And the school is trash because accommodations for disabilities are written into the money they get from the government. ETA, as a mom with a kid who has a 504 at his school, I hope your dad sues the sub, the principal, and the school district into the ground.
I'd consult a laywer, this school should probably be sued. Many schools seem to have lost and settled cases like this before.
If you are in the US, the school district has a responsibility to provide accessibility. You should have an IEP and an interpreter whenever necessary. But the sub assaulted you when they tried to take your CIs. The school is about to feel a lot of regret.
My son has a bilateral sensorineural hearing loss and is aided. The original post made me so angry and I am glad that OP’s parents are being aggressive in the situation. I had the benefit of finding the right information and support systems early in my son’s life so I feel prepared to deal with any similar issue swiftly.
But the fear of what my son may encounter as he proceeds through school persists. I hope that the OP’s family finds resources and social support from other families as they change educational environments and location.
The audacity of the principal to say basically “you need to just let the sub assault you, risk expensive disability aids and increase your disability in the classroom environment, just sit there and take it and talk to me later” is such BS. And if the sub won’t let him leave? Or damages the CI? Or sticks it in her purse and goes home before OP can get to the principal?
Not to mention, that means OP would have to get from the classroom to the principal’s office, without being stopped by other teachers, and wait for the principal to be in their office and have time for OP.
So OP would miss class time, and be without their aid until the situation is resolves. And it’s not like it’s easy for a teen to suppress innate self defense actions when assaulted. Adults have trouble squashing those instincts.