'WIBTA for shutting off the family phone plan after giving everyone 60 days notice?'
"WIBTA for shutting off the family phone plan after giving everyone 60 days notice?"
I am 31F and somehow ended up the owner of our family phone plan. It started when I was 24, dad was laid off, mom’s phone was on an ancient flip, my brother was still in community college. I put us all on my Verizon account and got the discount.
Fast forward and it is 6 lines now. Mine, my boyfriend, mom, dad, brother, and my aunt who joined during 2020 because her phone died. The bill is 188 to 210 depending on taxes.
For years I split it out on a Google Sheet and everyone was supposed to Zelle me their share by the 5th. In practice mom pays on the dot, dad forgets until a reminder, my brother sends half and then “will top up Friday,” and my aunt goes silent for weeks until I call.
I have eaten late fees twice and my credit card utilization spikes because I float the bill for other people. Last month my card got flagged and declined at the grocery store, I stood there with a cart of food and a red face because the phone autopay had just hit again and it tipped me over.
I sent a nice group text and an email. I wrote that starting October 1 I am moving my number and my boyfriend’s number to our own plan, and that I will remove the remaining lines November 1. Gave them exact dates, links for porting, and even called Verizon to double check steps for them.
I offered to do the transfers if they gave me the info. I also explained that I am not angry, I just can’t be the bank anymore and it is messing with my budget. Immediate reactions.
Mom said she understood and asked for help setting her plan, we did it Saturday and it went fine. Dad said “wow, harsh,” and that he has more important bills right now. My brother said I am sabotaging his job search because recruiters call him, I told him he can keep his number, he just needs to own the line.
He replied with three crying laugh emojis. My aunt called my mom crying that I am punishing her when she is “family.” She still owes me for July and August, 58 each, I am not chasing it.
Now my dad is upset and says holidays will be awkward if I cut them off. Part of me feels ice cold about it, but also I gave sixty days, multiple reminders, and even tech support. WIBTA if I stick to the deadline and let the lines go dark if they have not moved by then?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
You gave them all fair notice and explained your reasons. Instead of guilt tripping you they should feel bad at making you responsible for their bad financial planning. Kudos to Mum though for her response.
NTA--they're taking advantage of you. Props for setting good boundaries!
Mom here-I’m on my daughter’s plan and I auto pay her each month. She has to hound her father, sister, and former brother in law. They all have solid incomes but they can’t figure out how to pay her on time. Good on you for taking action 👍
NTA shut that atm down & tell them it's their problem to fix. Also say family get togethers wont be a problem because you don't spend time with grifters. Mom is welcome to join you.
No your family needs to be stepping up and it sounds like it’s only your mum. Your brother is useless and your aunt is a freeloader. Your dad needs to setup auto pay so he doesn’t screw anyone else around. NTA.
Family phone plans are a thing parents usually do. Youv been kind enough. If Aunty falls out with you, tell anyone that asks that it's because you won't pay her phone bill every month 🤷 if they ask why you won't pay it, scrunch your face up and say "why don't you pay it,? she's a grown woman!"
Your mum sounds the best of the bunch. If your dad has said "more important bills right now" then he can deal with them without a phone. (More likely he will leech off his wife, but hey ho.)
Your aunt: I have no words. I take it you've reminded your mom that her sister owes you for July and August but because she's family you are simply ending the relationship where you provide her with a free phone, not pursuing her for unpaid debt. NTA.
If you can’t buy food when they are late paying you, then you can’t afford this phone plan. It’s not so much being mean or an AH, it’s that you are financially unable to afford your phone plan.
Your Mum has already shown you that this should not be a big deal, everyone else can sort themselves out just as Mum has done, they are upset because they want you to keep paying their bill for them.
If Dad tells you he has more important bills gain, just say no problem when you are all sorted I’ll be happy to help you sort a new phone, but I also have more important bills and can’t afford to pay your phone bill, as you are in a similar position I’m sure you understand.
If he says the holidays will be awkward ask him why and let him try and explain why you not paying his phone bill affects the way he treats you. If your aunt says but I’m family again remind her that family don’t screw other family members over by not paying their bills. In short call them all out on their bad behaviour.
Wow - everyone but your mom sucks. They are allowing you to be broke because they can't be bothered to do what they promise, and then they are upset when you finally, after seven years draw the line? Nope - you are NTA. Your family is full of them, though.