"AITA for throwing my SIL's infertility in her and her husband's faces?"

I’m gonna be real with guys on my second bottle of wine so please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes. my (26f) sister in law(30f) is infertile it’s literally her whole personality and she imo uses to control us. I’ll give you guys some context -She cried loudly all day at my wedding because we’d be having kids soon she literally made sure she got more attention than me

Threw a full on tantrum the whole way through all my brother in laws wedding events because she wanted his bride to disinvite her pregnant twin sister.

-none of us are allowed make pregnancy, birth announcements, no newborn or pregnancy pics till she feels ready

-no babies or pregnant women are allowed at family events or at my in laws or no mention of said baby/pregnancy

-apparently you can’t have PPD because people cant have kids

Honestly I can’t take it anymore I had to hide my pregnancy last year and tip toe around her feelings.

When I finally gave birth via emergency c section I was in hospital for a week in that week my father who lives in a different country died of a heart attack .over restrictions I wasn’t allowed visitors but my sil and mil made sure to scream down the phone because my sister posted a picture of my dads last pic which was him FaceTiming my son.

We cut contact till December everything was ok till today, I went live on Facebook because my daughter (4) was teaching my son to say “mama” and he finally said mama but kept giving my husband dirty looks when he’d ask him to say “dad” I realised the minute the nasty comments,phone calls and texts started coming that I made a mistake but at this stage screw her we just blocked them.

My sil,her husband and mil showed up at my house screaming about how insensitive I am that I knew it would trigger her etc. I was trying to calm everyone down till her husband called my kids "crotch goblins."

So I looked her straight in the eye and told her I don’t give a flying F she’s infertile that’s her problem not mine than I told her husband he probably can’t have kids because he’s a little b!tch that can’t afford IVF. I slammed the door in their face then my shocked husband told me he’d put the kids to bed and drink some wine.

I’ve gotten so many messages from my SIL's in laws friends and cousins I’m starting to think I went a bit far. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

GothPenguin said:

I really want to say everyone sucks here because your comment was cruel but after everything you’ve been put through for years they had it coming. I’m infertile. I would love to be able to have children but I’ve never tried to control what the rest of the family does so they have to cater to me. NTA

SunflowersNSprout said:

These ppl showed up on your doorstep to yell at you? Good for you NTA

bluebell435 said:

NTA. I don't understand the E S H judgments at all. They showed up at your house to berate you for having a life and sharing it on social media. That is literally what social media is for. It's in the name. If it bothers her that other people have children, she needs to delete her Facebook and stay off all SM.

Kris82868 said:

NTA. The problem with the whole situation is it never should have been allowed to go this far. She should never have been given the power to tell someone when she is ready for someone to share their pregnancy announcements and baby pictures. There should not be stepping on eggshells with her and not being free to celebrate your own family. It's like you are expected to mute your joy for her and it isn't right.

And this is from someone who is infertile and wasn't blessed with children. I treasured the children in my extended family and many of my friend's kids when they were growing up. Still do. Has SIL ever went into counseling to deal with this?

OP responded:

I think she’s in therapy and on medication for something it’s ether BPD or depression I can’t remember

[deleted] said:

NTA sounds like it was a long time coming. Your SIL needs to seek professional help. It's perfectly understandable for a person battling fertility issues to have some... moments and feelings. But this sounds well beyond normal. Your MIL, and others, need to stop enabling this behavior also.

likeahike said:

NTA, You should have spoken up sooner. You enabled her too up to this point. Tell her clearly you are done. Tell your family you are done. This could have been said nicer, but I don't think she'll ever get the message.

And OP responded:

I’ve tried to talk to her about it and my mil (so has my husband and his brother) you don’t win my brother in laws wife has a restraining order against sil and her husband over a gender reveal party

She later shared this update:

Afew things have happened in the last few hours my sis in law and brother in law showed up at 5am screaming and banging on my windows they did some damage to my car and broke two windows trying to get in along with destroying my daughters swing set .we called the police they both got arrested (we have cameras)

My brother in law,his wife and strangely father in law want us to press charges And we plan to. we also plan on cutting contact, getting a restraining order We are currently at my brother in laws on the advice of FIL I’ve documented any calls or messages I’ve gotten from her friends/in laws.

She will be completely cut off so will mil so we can enjoy our kids growing up ,thanks everyone I’ve a killer hangover so I’m gonna get some sleep.

Then she shared this second update:

A lot of have asked for the gender reveal story so here it - my brother in laws wife rose decided to have a secret gender reveal with just close family and friends so sil wouldn’t find out the party was beautiful but about 20 minutes after they popped the gender reveal balloons,

SIL comes screaming into her house like a banshee (think someone posted the reveal on Facebook) screaming at Rose her husband doing the same to BIL so Rose started screaming back sil attacked rose and her husband knocked two tables over one of which had the a beautiful cake long story short roses sister gave sil her just deserts same and sil’s husband got a face full of cake.

To make it worse sil called they police trying to get rose and bil arrested forgetting multiple people were there recording her.mil tried to get involved but rose told her eff off