Single dad refuses to babysit sister's kids after she tells him he's 'not a real parent.' AITA?

"AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she said I’m 'not a real parent?'"

I (33M) am a single dad to my daughter (6F). Her mom passed away shortly after she was born, so I’ve been raising her on my own for her entire life. It’s been hard, but I’ve done everything I can to provide for her and make sure she’s happy and healthy.

My sister "Claire" (35F) has three kids (10M, 8F, and 5F) and is married to a great guy. They’re both wonderful parents, but they often ask me to babysit their kids because they know I have a lot of experience with my own daughter.

I don’t mind helping out when I can, but lately, it feels like they’re asking me more and more, often with little notice. I’ve had to cancel plans, juggle my own schedule, and rearrange things to accommodate them. A few days ago, Claire called and asked if I could babysit for the weekend because she and her husband wanted to go on a couples’ retreat.

I told her I couldn’t because I had already made plans with my daughter for a special daddy-daughter weekend. Claire got upset and said that I should be willing to help her out since she has “real responsibilities” as a mother of three and that I “only” have one child.

That comment really hurt me, and I told her that just because I have one child doesn’t mean my responsibilities are any less important than hers. She brushed it off and said I wouldn’t understand what it’s like to be a "real" parent because I’ve never had to deal with multiple kids or juggle a full household.

I was really offended and told her that if she thinks I’m not a real parent, then maybe she shouldn’t rely on me so much for childcare. I refused to babysit, and now she’s furious. She’s been texting me non-stop, saying I’m punishing her over a small comment and that I’m being selfish for not helping her when she needs it.

Even my mom has chimed in, saying I should just let it go because Claire has a lot on her plate. But I don’t think I should be treated like a free babysitter, especially when she clearly doesn’t respect my role as a parent. AITA for refusing to babysit after what she said?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Own_Lack_4526 said:

NTA. If she doesn't think you understand how to deal with multiple kids, then obviously you shouldn't take responsibility for multiple kids. Enjoy your weekend!

pls_esplane said:

NTA. What everyone else has said, plus she has a partner to help her parent. And children that can help with the other children in small ways. She should be helping you since you're at it alone.

easythrowaway12345 said:

NTA. I’m sorry, your mom said your SISTER has a lot on her plate? To the single dad who is providing childcare for the kids she brought into this world? The single dad who does it alone while the sister has a partner? The single dad who is having to manage on his own income, and still finds a way to be supportive of his nieces/nephews? Screw these people.

RevolutionaryDiet686 said:

NTA Remind her that she is not a single parent and that her husband shares the load of raising kids with her.

Melodic_Ranger926 said:

Definitely NTA. Your sister is though. She's not entitled to free babysitting because she chose to have 3 kids. She's selfish and manipulative. And she is whining to her mommy. If your mother feels Claire has a lot on her plate, she should watch the kids.

Routine-Friend-7585 said:

Nta. Stand your ground