Single dad walks out of mom's house after she forced his son with autism to eat food he hates. AITA?
"AITA for walking out of my mom’s house after she forced my autistic son to eat food he hates?"
I’m a single dad (32M) to my 17-year-old son, Ronnie. He’s autistic and has some pretty specific food sensitivities. It’s not just that he doesn’t like certain foods, some textures are genuinely overwhelming for him. Eggplant, asparagus, apples, and brussels sprouts are on his list of foods he just can’t handle, and I’ve always respected that.
My mom, on the other hand, doesn’t. She’s never really taken the time to understand Ronnie’s needs and insists that he’s just being picky or difficult. I’ve tried to explain it to her many times, but she doesn’t seem to take it seriously.
Recently, she invited us over for dinner. She said it would be a nice family evening, and I figured we’d give it a shot. When we got there, I immediately noticed that most of the dishes she’d prepared were things Ronnie struggles with. It felt intentional, like she was trying to prove a point.
Ronnie was visibly uncomfortable but tried to stay polite. I could tell he was trying his best to handle the situation, but eventually, it became too much for him. He started tugging at his hair, something he does when he’s overwhelmed. Instead of showing any understanding or compassion, my mom became upset with him for it.
At that point, I decided enough was enough. I told her we were leaving and took Ronnie home. He was really upset and told me how embarrassed and humiliated he felt. It broke my heart.
Since then, my mom has been flooding my phone with angry messages, accusing Ronnie of being ungrateful and me of spoiling him. She’s also posted about the situation on Facebook, calling us both disrespectful and making it seem like she was just trying to help.
Some family members think I should apologize to smooth things over, but I honestly don’t see why I should. I feel like I did the right thing by putting Ronnie first, but with all the backlash, I’m starting to second-guess myself. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
NotSureItsFunny said:
NTA but it doesn't seem like your mother has any respect for you as a fellow parent. I'd start putting up some boundaries where you can.
FarlerFive said:
As a mom to 3 AuDHD kids & someone who has their own texture issues, to hell with your mom. You are absolutely NTA you are your child's advocate. I praise you for removing your son from that situation. Your mom was being a bully & very disrespectful. Tell others to kiss your ass, you are the one owed an apology.
Ok_Routine9099 said:
NTA. Humiliating your son is not something a caring grandparent does. She’s supposed to be on his team. He has enough pressure working against him in society. She’s an ableist who has a strong streak of perpetual victimhood. If she hasn’t figured this out by 17, she’s not going to figure it out.
Big_Ant5209 said:
NTA. Even if he just was being picky, he’s not obligated to eat her gross food. Sounds like your mom is a pretty apathetic and idiotic person. Also, why do boomers feel that need to share private family matters on Facebook?
Sorry Ronnie and you had to deal with that. I would have loudly told Ronnie I’m taking him to his favorite fast food restaurant on the way out and flipped off my mom with a smile on my face.
74Magick said:
NOPE. I'm a very picky eater, and I'm not autistic. When I moved out on my own I vowed to indulge my pickiness to the fullest and 30+ years later I still am. NTA.
SadlyNervous said:
NTA. You made the right choice by standing up for your son and prioritizing his well-being. Your mom's behavior was not only inconsiderate, but also disrespectful of Ronnie’s needs and the understanding you've tried to convey to her.