"AITA for telling my sister our mom posted pictures of her baby online?"

My sister just recently had a baby, and is currently on maternity leave. She and BIL are kinda hippie types, and I don't mean that in a bad way - just in that they love the outdoors and don't use any kind of social media or play any video games, and they used to be antivaxxers but thank God not anymore.

Anyway, my sister and BIL have made it very clear they don't want any pictures of their daughter on the internet. This came as no surprise to me, but my mom complained about it excessively throughout my sisters whole pregnancy. Regardless, my sister stood her ground, with BIL backing her up.

Earlier this week, I was derping around on my phone at work and saw my mom had posted a picture of my niece on FB. I immediately messaged her and told her she needed to take the picture down. She ignored me for a couple hours, so then I texted my sister with screenshots because I knew she wouldn't know about it any other way. Needless to say, my sister was pissed.

When I got home from work, my dad took me aside and chewed my ass out about disrespect. I told him I thought it was disrespectful for my mom to post that picture knowing that my sister and BIL aren't okay with it, and then he just went on a speech about "my house my rules", which sucks because he's technically right. I want to move out so bad, but student loans are a b!tch.

My sister and BIL obviously side with me, but now I have extended family blowing up my inbox because the photo was taken down before a lot of them could see it. I've just ignored them, which is making my mom even more mad at me, but I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to say that will make anyone happy.

My dad stopped giving a damn about the situation roughly two beers after the initial ass-chewing, so home life isn't bad except my mom being cold towards me. But my Facebook inbox is an utter dumpster fire at the moment, so I need to know, AITA? Should I have just stayed out of it?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

NTA. THEY are the disrespectful ones and I wouldn't be surprised if your sister cut access to her child. If you want an excuse, make them aware that people use baby pictures for foul reasons and that those pictures are shared online by pedos in facebookgroups.

OP responded:

I tried this, she insists her privacy settings prevent all risks. I've tried to explain its not that simple, but there is a reason I'm always the one fixing everyone's computer problems in the house. One time I set up the mobile hotspot on my phone during a road trip and they all acted like I was Elon Musk lmao

pumpkinpencil97 said:

NTA, not her baby to post, not your families baby to see. I’d your sister wanted them to see pics of her child I’m sure she can send them herself

OP responded:

That's another thing, she's literally mailed physical pictures to everyone in the family! She just doesn't want her kids image on the internet, which I have to say I understand. There's a lot of creeps online.

[deleted] said:

NTA. You mom is disrespectful and your dad is blaming you instead of recognizing her bad behavior.

OP responded:

Yeah, he always rushes to her defense no matter what. Usually it's kinda cute to watch, but sometimes it's annoying as hell. He's probably the most rational person I know, except when it comes to what my mom wants.

And Tash8683 said:

NTA. The perfect response to my house my rule would have been their baby their rules.

She later shared this update:

Holy cow I'm so glad I posted this when I did. Right after I left my last comment on this thread, I went to the kitchen to go make fried chicken for dinner. As I was butchering the chicken, my mom came in and started complaining that I wasn't breaking down the chicken the way she taught me.

Before I could respond, my dad exclaimed from the living room, "Really? You're gonna start complaining about her chicken now, too??" Guys, it was glorious. My dad came into the kitchen and finally went off about how he's tired of hearing about this, and he even defended me by saying I was being a good sister and my mom needs to drop the subject and respect my sister's wishes about the pictures.

My sister and I had to try so hard not to smile the whole time. My mom got pretty upset and went upstairs, but once everything was ready, she came back down to have dinner with us. We got through it fine, and I'd say everything is better now.

My parents kinda have this cycle where my mom will get super worked up over something, my dad will defend her out of instinct, but about half the time he changes his mind and tells her off.

Also, to some of you - please stop calling my mom a narcissist. She is a very selfless and loving person, she's just a little overexcited about her first grandchild. She is not a narcissist, she just has a tendency to be stubborn about family-related stuff because she's extremely close to most of her family members, but my dad can always get through to her when he needs to.

I deleted the Facebook app from my phone for the time being (Facebook sucks anyway), but I can at least trust my mom is done getting on my case. After dinner, she made me and my sister sundaes, so she's not the worst mother on Earth. Anyway, thanks so much for your feedback, everyone, I really appreciated it. I'm going to bed now, so good night!