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'AITA for telling my sister that she shouldn't overvalue herself and prepare for the worst?'

'AITA for telling my sister that she shouldn't overvalue herself and prepare for the worst?'


"AITA For Telling My Sister That She Shouldn't Overvalue Herself And Prepare For The Worst?"


I (21f) Have an older sister "Eve" (29f) who had her first child, "Lori" (1f) and while this should be a time of joy an excitement there's actually a lot of tension and brewing resentment between her, our mom, and her husband "Jack" (29m).

Despite it being unplanned Eve's pregnancy was wanted and Jack was an involved partner. He went to most of Eve's appointments, took the birthing classes, and supported Eve's decision to just have our mom in the room while he wanted outside when she gave birth.

The plan was for our mom to be by Eve's side in the room and to help stay for a week after Lori was born. Everyone was cool with this but unfortunately our aunt got into some drama with her husband in another state and our mom rushed over to be at her sister's side.

Eve was already in her 3rd trimester so Jack didn't like the idea of our mom going and voiced it. Our mom tore Jack a new one and Eve even got on his case about it so he apologized. However, Eve ended up going into labor and Jack ultimately was the one in the room while our mom was away.

When she called, our mom expressed being sad over not being there for the birth of her first grandchild and she and Eve decided that no one else in the family would see Lori until she got back. Without discussing it with Jack.

He was understandably not happy as his mom lived about 45 minutes away and was looking forward to meeting Lori too as she was the first grandchild on both sides. Eve pulled the "I just gave birth" card and Jack reluctantly allowed it.

On the day that our mom was supposed to come back, she missed her flight and couldn't get a new one until the following morning. Our mom could've just rented a car but she didn't want to spend the money since the airline wouldn't refund the money.

Jack was brought up allowing his mom to come again, but Eve refused citing that he already agreed. Unfortunately, Jack's mom was in a car accident and passed before ever getting to meet Lori since Eve wouldn't even allow a video chat.

Jack was distraught, he moved to the guest bedroom, went to the funeral alone and refuses to engage with Eve at all. Jack's side of the family keeps calling and messaging Eve to tell her what a selfish and awful person she is and Jack refuses to defend.

Eventually, Eve got sick of it and packed up and left to our mom's house to "teach Jack a lesson" but he hasn't texted or called. Our mom thinks that he just needs some space and that he'll call soon but I just laughed at that. Didn't mean to though.

My mom and Eve asked me why I laughed and I tried to brush it off or even leave but they wouldn't let me and pressed for an answer. Eventually, I told her that while the accident wasn't her fault, she did keep Lori away from Jack's mom meeting her for a week and now she never will.

I said, "There is no way Jack is every going to love you enough to forgive what you did and you should prepare for the worst. Eve started to bawl her eyes out while mom berated me, so I left. AITA?

Edit: Just to clarify because I keep seeing this when the accident first happened Eve has apologized three separate times (Jack has admitted to this) and Eve intended to go to the funeral with him but he drove off without her.

Jack does interact with Lori it's Eve that he's icing out and my niece is the only thing he's willing to talk to Eve about. Jack had been living in the guest room for 5 months before Eve left. She's offered to go to couple's counseling but Jack has refused.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


Probably would get downvoted, but who cares? NTA. Your mom showed time and time again that her first niece granddaughter isn't that important to her. The fact that Jack's mom would never meet her niece is something that Jack would never get over and he is right.

His mom was denied acces cause the other grandmother would rather cater to her adult sister than meeting her granddaughter. That woman died with the wish to see her first granddaughter. Jack and the rest of the family are never going to forgive your sister for this. Hopefully they won't take it on the baby.


Damn, every bit of this story is just sad. Eve sure is delusional. The fact that Jack didn't just let his mom come from the start is amazing. It is incredibly unfair to impose this. Honestly, this mix of emotions (newborn + mother dying) must be overwhelming. I hope someone is keeping an eye on Jack...


That's the part that struck me too, why didn't Jack just let his mother come anyway? I'm amazed he put up with that bullshit, he sounds like a treasure of a husband and Eve really screwed herself by treating him and his family like that.


Because if he had Reddit would have shredded him because the person giving birth is the only one that gets a say.


NTA. The fact she's not even remorseful, or there for her husband WHEN HIS MOM DIED shows exactly where her priorities are. What a stupid, petty thing to force him to wait, and even pettier to walk out on him like HE did something wrong. Jesus, how heartless. Yeah, I'd be stunned if he came back. I know I wouldn't.


NTA. It seems like this is pretty cut and dry. Eve put her and her mother's opinion first and Jack lost something he'll never get back. Why isn't Eve trying to win Jack back? Has Eve even admitted that she could have let Jack's mom meet her grandchild without hurting anyone?

So, what do you think with this one? If you could give the OP or her sister any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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