'AITA for walking out of my birthday dinner after my sister and her BF's announcement?' UPDATED
"AITA for walking out of my birthday dinner after my sister and her boyfriend's announcement?"
This was a couple weeks ago but I still think about it. I 16F had my sweet 16th a couple weeks ago, nothing too crazy and that but my parents and my extended family all came over and we went out to a nice restaurant that my parents had booked.
A lot of my family, cousins and nieces and nephews were there so it was a lot of people. After we ate dinner and it was time to blow out my candles my mom insisted I open some of my presents so I don’t have to carry them home.my aunties, uncles and grandparents gave me my presents.
After opening their present and saying thank you and that, my older sister and her boyfriend gave me their present. Inside their box they gave me was a, “Will you be my Maid of honour?“ card on top of the present.
I, obviously confused, looked at them with a weird expression on my face, my mum came over to look in the box as well and she loudly said, “You’re getting engaged!“ My sister squealed with excitement and told us all about her proposal and how they’re already wedding planning.
She said it was the perfect time to announce their engagement since all our family was here. When my sister asked if I was going to say yes I just nodded and excused my self to the bathroom.
No I didn’t go to the bathroom, I ended up walking out and went to a nearby park. A couple hours pass by and my dad pulled over on the curb and told me to get in with him. I expected him to yell at me but he ended up taking me out for ice cream and we sat at the lake and just talked.
When I got home I saw my cake on the counter and my mum got up and started yelling at me about how I wasted money, wasted my families time. My sister and her bf came out and told me how mean I am for doing that to them.
My sister ended up saying that my birthday wasn’t as important as her wedding and my mother agreed. My dad told my sister and her bf to get out and ended up talking to my mom about how they could have checked with me beforehand instead of announcing it. So AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's original post:
QueenPotatoTomato
NTA, they hijacked your celebration and made it about them. If they wanted to announce it with everyone present, they should've done to right thing and asked you first. Absolutely classless.
BellesNoir
OP's and dad's reaction suggests this isn't the first time sister has pulled a stunt like this.
I smell a golden child, enabled by a momster.
veelas
Thank god op has their dad to rely on. That’s one good thing, as horrible as the whole situation sounds. Nta.
DrWhoop87
Dad sounds awesome, I didn't expect the post to go that way but he really stepped up and did right by OP.
Reaverbait
Anyone else suspect the mother knew? Especially with her getting OP to open the gifts then and there...
NTA, it sucks when 'milestone' birthdays come second fiddle to other people's egos.
Variant-EC96
NTA. Your sister hijacked your birthday on purpose to make it about her. Good on your dad for standing with you and defending you as well.
Three days later, the OP returned with an update.
"UPDATE !!"
I am grateful for all the comments and your opinions and I showed my dad all of the comments and what people wrote. He says yous are all hilarious and appreciates you all! (he was laughing at all the stuff I should do at the wedding).
My dad and I sat my mom and sister down just so I could explain to her that I won’t be her MOH as it’s a big responsibility and that it should be in the hands of an adult instead of a 16 year old.
Although she tried to convince me further I still said no, she starts growling me saying I was ruining her wedding and that her and her fiancé went out of their way to buy me a gift which was her proposal box to me.
Unfortunately my mom and sister started telling me how cruel it was to ruin a wedding and that it’s not about me it’s about the bride, my dad ended up arguing with my mom about how it isn’t cruel and no 16 year old should have to plan and help organise a wedding as that is what MOHs do and it would be to stressful and should go to an adult instead.
My mom started arguing with him about how it’s not my day as I already had mine, and I should go forward with my sisters plan as it’s about her and not me. My dad brought the birthday up and argued with my mom and my sister that, she ruined my birthday and if she didn’t try make it all about herself we wouldn’t be arguing.
I don’t want to go into too much detail of what went down but basically my sister started crying and my mom called be a brat and a disgrace and how I’ve officially ruined my bitchy sisters wedding.
Im now staying at my grandparents house until things cool down at home (I don’t think they will tbh) since my mom tells me any chance she gets that im a brat and a horrible sister for not helping my big sister out for her special day.
My dad is with my mom trying to sort her out and my other grandparents (my moms parents) are talking with her as my dad told them what happened. I’m not going to be her Maid of honour nor her bridesmaid since she’s a jerk. I’m not sure if I’ll even go to her wedding, I’ll have to just see what my dad thinks about it.
My grandparents (my dads parents who I’m staying with atm) are talking to my dad about considering divorcing or taking a break from my mom as she and my sister are creating a toxic environment for him and I to live in, and that after all these years they see no reason for him to live with such a woman. I don’t really know what to think about it and I feel kind of lost but I thought I’d update y’all.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
HeadBonk
Your dad and grandparents are rockstars. Glad you have some people looking out for you. Always remember to put your own mental health ahead of others wants and desires.
pepperbreaker
OP's sister has no other friends fitting to be a MOH? and underage OP doesn't want to be it? but why? OP's sister is the sun and the world revolves around her, we should all count ourselves lucky! /s
Kat121
I know, right? What a shocker that sis has no friends.
Penguin_Joy
Sis wants a MOH she can bully and blame for everything she's stressed about. Any adult friend she tried this with would walk away and refuse to help anymore. Without OP to be her sister's scapegoat, sis might actually have to control her temper and accept responsibility for her actions. And OP'S mom thinks that's just asking too much of her little bridezilla.
Due-Independence8100
A wedding so awesome it destroyed mom and dad's marriage.
Gwynasyn
Wow... that mother and sister are on a whole other level. I'm REAL curious to know why they both wanted a 16 year old to be the MOH. Did they actually expect her to help plan and even finance things?
She was actually going to trust a 16 year old sister to plan, book, schedule, arrange, communicate whatever the hell it was she wanted done? I assume it was more... she had her plan, and she was going to use the sister as a labour mule to do the dirty work she didn't want her or her friend-bridesmaids to do.