'AITA for refusing to let my sister have her honeymoon at my house?' UPDATED 2X

"AITA for refusing to let my sister have her honeymoon at my house?"

Backstory: My house used to belong to my parents. But they sold it to me in 2017. It had been a family vacation home of sorts. Every couple years when my grandparents were alive they'd invite us kids up there for a week. Fast forward to the end of 2016. My sister got accepted to her dream college. Wont say which but it's a big one.

Everyone was excited and proud of her, me too. But a week after that my parents called asking if I'd found a house yet. I was looking for one and my family knew it. I'd been saving up since I started my first job at 20. I said no so my dad suggested I buy the lake house from them. I asked why they wanted to sell it. Turns out sis didn't have any savings for college and didn't get some scholarship like she'd planned?

And our parents couldn't afford to pay for everything either. I asked why she didn't get student loans and they said they didn't want her ruining her credit. So their solution was to sell the lake house and use the money from that to finance her college.

I had lots of good memories from the lake house so eventually I agreed. I work via computer so after getting a good internet connection out there I moved right in, and been there since. My gf moved in permanently last year and it's been pretty blissful.

Then my sister & her college bf got engaged. Parents agreed to pay for her wedding. But like with every other wedding around then things got set back. Sis had to postpone her wedding until this year. She plans to have it in Dec. I even agreed to be in the bridal party.

Issues came up recently when my sis asked where I was going to stay for the 2 weeks after her wedding? Puzzled I answered my house? She got a sour look and said that wouldn't work, her and fiance would be there and they wanted private time. I asked why they'd be at my house and she said that's where they were having their honeymoon. Two weeks alone at a lake house. I said that was news to me.

She insisted our parents said it was fine. But I said it wasn't their place to make decisions about my house. After arguing she called our parents who said I was being unreasonable. I said I didn't want my sister and her fiance christening their new union by hooking up in my house. They said I was being gross and selfish. I said no again so sis threatened to remove me from the bridal party.

I just shrugged and said okay. She starts crying, saying she already couldn't have her dream wedding like she wanted and now I was trying to ruin her honeymoon too. I told her to rent a hotel room like every other newlywed couple then hung up.

She's not speaking to me and I'm uninvited to the wedding. Our parents keep calling me and saying I should do this for her since her wedding is only 1/3 what she wanted it to be. But I'm not comfortable with them staying unsupervised at my house. They're making me feel like a monster for saying no. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

soulpeace2 said:

Idk if it’s just me but the favoritism is shining brighter than the sun. NTA your sister is crazy for expecting that before even conforming with you lol

[deleted] said:

NTA. They don't have money to cover for her education to the point of selling a house, but they do for her wedding? She doesn't get to guilt you for already not having her dream wedding because she chose to get married at a time in which she still depends on her parents.

What she needs is a reality check not a wedding and till your parents stop treating her like their little princess she's gonna be a lost cause, which you don't have to take any responsibility for.

And wingding456 said:

NTA. Does your sister actually know that you bought the house from your parents so they could fund her college? This is so weird I wonder if she thinks they are just letting you live there and they have been too embarrassed to tell her

First update:

Well uh, learned something new today. I spoke to my sister like a few people suggested and asked her if she knew the lake house was legally MY house. As in, I bought it years ago.

She was NOT in fact aware of this. She was under the impression from our parents that they were letting me live there rent free...... I corrected her and even showed her proof that they sold the house to me. And when she asked why they sold it I was honest and said it was to pay for her college tuition/lifestyle. She became quiet after that and we soon hung up. No idea what's going to happen now.

Second update:

Not everything is resolved here so I'm not making a final update yet. It was suggested I save that until I know things are resolved. But here's a comment to update everyone who has been asking for once since my first post.

• My sister did confront our parents about them selling the house. They tried playing dumb, asking her what she meant, but went quiet after she told them she knew they did and texted them the picture I sent her of the contract I signed when buying the lake house, proving I owned the place.

• Sister was furious and said they lied to her about who owned the house and let her look like a lunatic. They went in circles, saying they definitely told her about it but she must have forgotten since she was so focused on her first year of college, but my sister's adamant that she wouldn't forget about something as big as them selling a whole house.

• Sister called me back the next day and asked if we could talk. She said she felt like she didn't know what was the truth anymore (didn't blame her) so we sat and talked for what felt like hours. We hadn't talked that long since we were kids. It was sorta nice at some parts. But it was also upsetting in more parts because it shed some nasty light on a lot of stuff from our childhoods.

• She asked how much they sold the house for, I told her (close to 100k), and she said that didn't add up. According to her, all four years of her tuition cost just under 50k. She revealed that she had to get a job and rent an apartment with a friend to be able to afford living by her school.

This shocked me and I told her how our parents told me they paid for everything for her; books, groceries, her apartment, etc. That means there's about $50,000 from the sale of the house that's currently unaccounted for.

• She did apologize for being rude to me the other day. She said she hadn't known about me owning my house and wouldn't have acted that way if she'd known I actually bought it. Our parents made it seem like they were just letting me live there for free out of the kindness of their hearts.

And she felt jealous that I got to live rent free in a vacation home while she was busting her ass to make a name for herself in her field after 4 years of college on top of having a crappy minimum wage job. She felt bitter because she felt like I always ruined things for her.

• I asked her what she meant by that and it turns out our parents were blaming me for stuff behind my back to my sister for... practically our entire lives. Like the time they pulled her out of ballet class when she was 7. They told her it was supposedly because they had to pay for my glasses and couldn't afford the classes on top of that.

Or when they wouldn't pay for her to join girl scouts with her friends, they said it was because I needed braces and that was more important than girl scouts. But I told her that dad's insurance had paid for both of those. So it sounds like they just didn't want to pay for her classes/girl scouts. And decided I was a nice clueless patsy to use so their precious baby girl wouldn't hate them.

• I've gone NC with parents. Not sure if Sis is as well. I sent them one text saying after this I don't think I can stomach speaking to them for a very long time, if ever again. And if they have any respect for me they'll not try to contact me. Then I blocked their number and also blocked them on everything I could think of.

There is so much more but I don't want this comment to get too long. Any questions you guys have I'll try my best to answer them. But things are still happening.

tl;dr my parents have been using me as the scapegoat for pretty much everything they did that upset my sister since we were kids.