'AITA for ditching my sister’s wedding after she made me wear a neon green bridesmaid dress?' UPDATED

"AITA for leaving my sister’s wedding early after she made me wear a neon green bridesmaid dress?"

Okay, I know that title sounds dramatic, but hear me out. I (24F) was a bridesmaid in my older sister’s (28F) wedding last weekend. She's super into aesthetic themes, which is fine, but her chosen color scheme was neon green and hot pink. Think 2000s Nickelodeon slime meets Barbie’s clubbing era.

When I first saw the dress she picked for me, I thought it was a joke. It was this highlighter-green satin thing that clung in all the wrong places and made me look like a walking glow stick. I asked her nicely if I could maybe wear a darker green or literally anything else, but she said no because it would “ruin the vibe.” Okay. Her wedding, her rules. I sucked it up.

Fast forward to the day of the wedding. The ceremony goes fine, but the dress? It’s attracting actual bugs. I’m sweating like I’m in a sauna. And people are staring. Not in the “aww how pretty” way, but more like “did she lose a bet?”

Then during the reception, one of my sister’s friends drunkenly calls me “Shrek’s prom date” within earshot of like ten people. Everyone laughs. My sister hears it and laughs too. No “hey that’s my sister,” no “don’t be rude.” Just straight up cackling.

I was so embarrassed and honestly hurt. I smiled through it, but after the first dance, I quietly told her I wasn’t feeling great and left early. Now she’s mad. She says I “abandoned her on the most important day of her life” and that I made it “all about me” by leaving. Even our mom is saying I should’ve just stayed and powered through because “it’s not that deep.”

But I wasn’t trying to make a scene. I didn’t even say anything to anyone. I just didn’t want to keep standing around being the neon laughing stock. So... AITA for dipping out early after being humiliated in a dress I hated from the start?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Queasy-Trash8292 said:

Yikes I am so sorry she did that to you. NTA at all. Burn that thing!

Queen-Pierogi-V said:

OP your best revenge is to have the most elegant wedding possible. Select drop dead gorgeous dresses that complement each bridesmaid perfectly, understated elegant makeup and hair, sophisticated flowers and decorations and do not invite her to participate. She just comes as a regular old guest!

You did nothing wrong. A grown up approaches a wedding with the dignity that respects the significance of the day. Not a club dance party vibe from the 1980s. Your sister lacks class. You acted with an abundance of it, I’m positive that the contrast was noted by discerning people. NTA.

De-railled said:

Honestly, I would have put it back on the bride. Guys, this is the brides theme and dream wedding. She's my sister so if I need to wear a "Shrek green" dress for HER dream wedding, that's what I'll do because I this is HER day is about HER visions and aesthetics.

Foreign_Sky_1309 said:

You did great, you sucked it up, put on a brave face, was there for her when it counted, unfortunately you felt “unwell” and left, that’s ok. Stick to that story and don’t give your power away. Have no further discussion, shrug it off. You were unwell.

Two days later, she shared this update:

Hi again! First off, THANK YOU to everyone who commented, upvoted, or even just quietly thought “damn, poor girl.” I didn’t expect the post to blow up, but y’all made me feel way less crazy for walking out of that wedding looking like radioactive string cheese. So, a lot has happened since I posted.

My sister saw the post. Yep. Someone sent it to her. I don’t know if it was a cousin, a frenemy, or one of her hot pink bridesmaids, but she called me the next morning livid. Said I “publicly embarrassed her” and that I made the wedding look like a joke. I told her, very calmly, that she did that all by herself with the Nickelodeon color palette and by laughing when someone called me Shrek’s prom date.

We argued. Not gonna lie, I cried. She cried. I think she was more hurt that I didn’t pretend to enjoy myself, and I was hurt that she didn’t care how uncomfortable I felt the entire time. I asked her flat out, “Would you have stayed if the roles were reversed?” Her silence said everything.

Our mom is still in “keep the peace” mode and said maybe we both overreacted. But guess who texted me later that day? The drunk friend who made the Shrek joke. She apologized. Apparently, she didn’t realize it would hit so hard and said she thought we were all in on the same vibe. (Spoiler: We were not.)

Also, and this is the funny part I found out that another bridesmaid left early too. She didn’t say anything because she “didn’t want to be rude,” but she felt like a walking glow stick too. So I guess I wasn’t alone in my highlighter pain.

As for my sister and I we’re taking space. We haven’t talked much this week. I don’t hate her, but I think we both need a breather before we pretend everything’s fine at family dinners.

TL;DR: Sister found the post. Drama happened. Shrek joke friend apologized. Another bridesmaid also dipped. Still glowing (literally and emotionally), but standing my ground.

And yes... I did burn the dress. Okay no, I didn’t. But I might use it as a Halloween costume. “Radioactive Regret.”