Six foot tall woman snaps at friend for asking 'inappropriate' questions about her short boyfriend. AITA?
"AITA for snapping at my friend after he asked an inappropriate question about my short boyfriend?"
Alright, here’s the situation. I (28F) am 6’1” and I’ve been dating my boyfriend, Jake (30M), for about 8 months. Jake is 5’4”, which makes him quite a bit shorter than me, but honestly, I don’t care. He’s sweet, funny, and we have an amazing connection. I’ve never been hung up on height, but my friend Dave (29M), who is 6’4”, seems to have a problem with it.
At first, Dave made the usual jokes like, “Do you have to bend down to kiss him?” or “Does he need a booster seat when you go out to eat?” I rolled my eyes, but I brushed it off because I thought it was just playful teasing. But as time went on, Dave’s comments got more frequent and increasingly inappropriate.
One night, we were all hanging out at a party, and out of nowhere, Dave asked me, “So, do you ever feel like a giant? Is Jake your personal little action figure?” Everyone stopped talking, and I could feel Jake tense up next to me. He laughed it off, but I could tell it bothered him. I was furious but didn’t say anything at the time.
A week later, we were out for drinks with a larger group, and Jake and I were having a great time—until Dave decided to open his mouth again. He leaned over and, with a smirk, said, “Hey, how do you two handle things in the bedroom? Does he have to stand on a stool?"
I felt my blood boil. This was not the first time he’d made inappropriate comments, but this one crossed the line. I turned to him and snapped, “What the hell is wrong with you? That’s completely disrespectful, and it’s not funny!”
Dave looked taken aback, and I continued, “You act like this is some kind of joke, but it’s just cruel. Jake is a great guy, and your comments make you sound like an insecure jerk.” The table went silent, and Jake looked a bit shocked, but I could tell he appreciated me standing up for him.
Afterward, Dave texted me saying I overreacted and that I embarrassed him in front of our friends. He claimed I was making a big deal out of nothing and that he was just trying to lighten the mood. Some of our mutual friends think I could have handled it better, but others agree that Dave had it coming. So, AITA for snapping at my friend after he asked an inappropriate question about my short boyfriend?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
BiankaPortia said:
NTA. Dave's comments were disrespectful and crossed a line. It's understandable that you snapped after enduring repeated inappropriate remarks. Standing up for your boyfriend and setting boundaries is important.
forever_single_now said:
NTA. Just out of curiosity, you sure he is not into you? His “jokes” might just be an expression of his frustration that a “shorter” guy was able to get what he couldn’t. It’s not that usual for guys to focus that much in hight. That’s why I ask.
BlueGreen_1956 said:
NTA. Dave is a jerk. Jerks hate being called out.
Roxxana_Aimie said:
NTA. Dave's "jokes" were way out of line, disrespectful to both you and your boyfriend, and frankly, just plain rude. You were right to defend your boyfriend and call out Dave's inappropriate behavior.
Cute_Beat7013 said:
NTA – I would have said fewer – but much harsher – words in your place, namely among the lines of asking Dave whether it’s his tragically disproportionate anatomy that makes him harp on Jake’s height.
EmptyPomegranete said:
NTA. He is insecure and insulting you about it because he does not believe himself to be valuable outside of his own height- hence he cannot understand why a shorter man would have value for a woman. So he is insulting your bf in order to repair his damaged ego.
candypaint34 said:
NTA. Dave needs to learn to mind his own business and keep his rude comments to himself. They say, "if you can't say anything nice, just don't say anything at all". You stood up for your boyfriend and that's what matters.