Woman runs from friend's bday after hostile gf calls her a, 'typical girl best friend.' AITA?
"AITA for skipping my friends birthday without warning because his gf calls me 'THE typical girl best friend?'"
ParticularAnxious208
Miles and I have known each other since we were 2 because our parents are best friends. Now I would not say miles is my best friend. He is a good friend and we do hang out on occasion but see each other on all major holidays because of our parents.
We are in our early 20s.The problem started because of a dumb childhood memory. When we were 8, we had a wedding play on school after care. I played the bride and miles the groom. It was a play. With horrible songs and uncoordinated kids.
Obviously, our parents made pictures and videos of that. And we each have one picture on our family picture walls. Miles is dating Lindy. They met 3 years ago and started dating last year. Lindy does not like me.
So every time we concide at a celebration, she makes a comment about me being the typical girl best friend. She one time said that I secretly wanted to sleep with Miles.
I have no clue where she got that impression from. Miles and I have different friend groups and schedules. Besides the monthly catch-up over food, we didn't really meet that much.
Things got worse when Lindy saw the wedding play picture. The comments just got more. She even started DMing me on Instagram saying "she knew what game i was playing."
I talked to Miles once about this, and he told me to give her time. So his birthday was on Saturday and I was invited. Lindy wrote me saying something along the lines that she was going to supervise me.
This was their first birthday as a couple, and I was not allowed to take up his time. I was honestly just fed up. I tried talking to Miles once more, but he said the same thing. So I just skipped out.
When the party started I wrote a quick sorry I can't come and told him my mother was going to bring his present. Now he is upset with me for missing his birthday Lindy is mad that I made it all about myself, and my parents are upset I missed a "family function". AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
kiwihoney
NTA. Miles’ GF is insanely insecure and jealous of you; you’ve tried talking to Miles about it and he won’t do anything about it. You’re basically getting threatening messages from her at this point, of course you don’t want to be around her!
Your parents should understand that their relationship with Miles’ parents is just that - THEIR relationship. It’s not a family function, whatever they wish it to be. The onus shouldn’t fall on you to maintain a friendship with Miles if it isn’t working for you under the current circumstances.
I do hope you two can work things out since you’ve been friends for so long, but you don’t HAVE to if it doesn’t work for you. And you don’t need to feel guilty about it.
PakaAnonymous
OP should also show the messages to her parents and Miles and let those messages do the talking instead of trying to expalin it herself. Why is it ok to take crap just coz you know them I can never understand that mentality. Good on OP for not going to the party and giving the girlfriend a chance to insult OP more.
Beck2010
You’ve known Miles for 20+ years, and his family is close with your family. Your not being at his party was noticed, and you’re taking all the blame for Lindy’s actions and insecurities.
Screenshot her message(s) to you and send them to your parents and put it on record your not attending was at Lindy’s jealous behest. NTA. But seriously - if the parents expect your involvement they need to know the truth of why you weren’t there.
Rowanx3
NTA - he can’t have his cake and eat it, as in, he can’t refuse to do something about the problem then get mad at you for doing something about the problem. I understand why you didn’t want to go and id probably do the same, his girlfriend doesn’t seem worth the mental energy and she’s clearly got insecurities that you shouldn’t have to deal with.
Awkward_Concern_9329
Just show him the texts, "See this is why i didn't come". Believe me, people like that never change. He might be able to get her to shut up for the most part, but she'll never not be that jealous petty person and you'll have to deal with snarky remarks until the end of time or they break up, I have a best friend just like her. Wouldn't date her in a million years though.
Lyzab77
NTA. But don't keep it to you. First, your parents are angry, it's unfair ! Tell them what happened and that you didn't want the GF to ruin the birthday if you came. Second, tell Miles. YTell him the same, you didn't to ruin the birthday, as his GF told you she will supervise you, and you didn't want her to ruin the birthday if she considered you weren't "at your place".
That you asked him to do something but as she cntinued to warn you, you prefered avoid coming. But now your parents are mad at you, and you missed an important date, so YOU are the one punished in that situation. Hope he'll understand. Not only what happened to you, but his GF is mad and her jealous is really too much...
vinnie_barbell_ino
NTA. Sounds like Miles enjoys the drama and Lindy is delivering it. I’d have skipped it also. Explain to your folks what’s going on so they don’t give you grief about not attending things if this adolescent silliness continues.
Wolf-Pack85
Have you considered maybe miles has led Lindy to believe there was something more between you two? Or maybe his parents/family has? For a little as you spend with miles, it’s odd she’s this way, now she could just be really insecure.
For miles not to step in and say something to her shows you where you stand within that friendship. He doesn’t have to take your side but he could tell her “OP is just my friend. That’s all we’ve ever been. Her family and my family are close.” NTA. Lindy made it uncomfortable for you to attend. Everyone should be on her for that, not you.