"AITA for sleeping with my soon to be ex-wife's friend?"
My wife cheated on me two months ago with a guy she met while we still were together and working on the relationship. Now almost two months later I texted a woman who has a kid who's in the same class as our kid.
I met this woman the first time in our home because my wife invited her and her kid to play with our kid, they got along decently from what I understood. This woman told my wife and I that she was single and had left the father. Now mind you this is ALL I knew about my wifes and her relationship, I did not know that they had been texting each other about it since then.
Fast forward I text this woman after two months of our breakup because why not, I thought she looked good and that we could probably just have a good time. After having met her we both developed feelings for each other to which we tried to end it but couldn't.
The woman I met then proceeded to text my soon to be ex-wife that she has feelings for me and that she is sorry but she cant really ignore them. All the while my wife is spending every other week with the guy she cheated with on me and have said she loved him just 2-3 weeks after we broke up.
We haven't even sold our house yet and she has already rented a place for herself and him and are planning a new life for them, introducing our kids etc to him, posting pictures on facebook where he is holding my kids hands etc. Now she has the balls to say that I'm TA?
Not long after posting, OP shared an edit.
Edit #1: As the situation stands now she has threatened to contact the court to basically force sell the house to lowest bidder. This could mean our entire 10 year housing career will be lost. And any hopes in putting any of the money from the sale of the house into savings for the kids will be gone. I havent received any calls or letters about it yet so we will see.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
jessie783 wrote:
Shouldn’t you be concentrating on your kids and the life changing event they’re suddenly going through? Not diving head first into a messy rebound a few weeks after splitting. Neither of you seem to be putting your children first right now like you should be.
OP responded:
I am focusing on my kids and have been for the past two months. I wasn't planning on fancying this woman after just casually meeting her. I spend 98% of my spare time with my kids while my kids have complained about their mom spending too much time with her new boyfriend.
Prettybadlydrawn wrote:
You both seem kind of TA. Hitting on your wife’s friend only two months post breakup is petty and messy even if she cheated. Especially since your kids are in the same class. That’s going to be fun for the kids to sort out. You picked someone really close to home with the intention of not even making it long term just to stick it your ex. Anyway good luck with your new relationship.
puzzled-plane-4480 wrote:
ESH. You don't justify unethical behaviour with "but they did it first!". And you fell in love two months after a break up where you were cheated on? It feels like a rabbit hole into more dysfunction.
Sugar_Kowalcyzk wrote:
ESH - and these folks are parents acting like high schoolers. Two months? A mutual friend you met together in a shared home? Yeah, wife is a hypocrite and has no right. But also, one person's bad behavior doesn't make your own bad behavior less bad: texting a mutual after two months was CLEARLY attention seeking/shit stirring behavior.
You developed feelings for each other after meeting a few times (or less) two months ago, while you were working on your marriage? That's not working on a marriage, that's holding space for a future hookup. The marriage clearly sucked, and it's good it's done. But your poor kids. Your poor, poor, kids.
sovereigncookies wrote:
Revenge hookups, yeah, sounds like something that ends well for everyone and definitely won't come back to bite you eventually. Personally, I've never used other people's bad behavior as an excuse for me to act badly, too. But maybe it'll work out great for you. Stranger things have happened.
zaritza8789 wrote:
Why is this woman reaching out to your soon to be ex and discussing what’s happening between the two of you? What exactly was the goal?
OkTumbleweed1705 wrote:
Here is what I am thinking: Your ex-wife is HOPING that the Chad she threw your marriage in the garbage for sticks around.
You know, so she doesn't look like a freakin' idiot. Something tells me though that she isn't all that confident in Chad's "commitment" to her so she expected you to wait around like a chump in case she messed up. Enjoy your life brother and enjoy the new girlfriend. And don't feel bad for laughing at the self-sabotaging moron. NTA.
Material-dot7684 wrote:
Lol, NTA your wife shouldn't have cheated if she wanted any say in who you see. Tell her it's none of her business at all anymore.
Bonus points if you put it this way: I didn't get a say in who else you dated while we were married so you don't get a say in who I date now.
Glum_Craft_4652 wrote:
NTA.
Your wife is a big hypocrite.
Foggmanatic wrote:
ESH. You are moving way too fast and making things very messy. While you are within your right to screw this lady, you are adding to an already unstable situation for your child. Is that worth a rebound banging? You surely are not ready to jump in fully to a new relationship.