'AITA for snapping at a coworker for being an obnoxious busybody when I dropped my coffee?'
"AITA for snapping at a coworker for being an obnoxious busybody when I dropped my coffee?"
Last week when I (35M) was walking back in to work from my break the lid popped off of my large iced coffee and the entire drink spilled in the front doorway of my lab building. I looked down, sighed "f#$k me" because I really needed the caffeine, and started walking to the bathroom to grab some paper towels.
A friend (24F) from my lab was walking in at the same time and she also darted off to grab some paper towels, but the second that I dropped it another older woman (~55F) from a different lab who was on her way out for the night started loudly yelling "OP you need to clean that up!" in a condescending tone down a hallway of private offices.
I kind of raised my eyebrow and kept walking to the men's room to grab the paper towels, but a couple seconds later when she got to the doorway she yelled: "OP! OP come back and clean this up right now!" and I turned around and yelled "with f#$king what, Kim?! Did you want me plop down and sit on it? I'm getting paper towels!"
She started yelling back "oh yeah well you better be!" but I cut her off and loudly said "BYYYEEE!" with a hand wave and all of the energy of "f#$k right off to hell!" and she went on her way.
This was when my friend popped back out with some paper towels and asked "what the f is her problem?" She laughed when I told her about the exchange and said it was wild behavior on her part, but I still felt pretty embarrassed that I snapped at an older lady and childishly yelled "BYYYEEE!" in a singsong tone and waved her off. AITA?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
PeachBanana8 wrote:
NTA, your coworker was acting like you were a child at the daycare she works at. She deserved to get told off.
OP responded:
That was exactly how she said it, my friend heard the first part and said it was crazy for her to talk like that to a grown adult.
Novel_Recording9744 wrote:
NTA An older woman (55F) 👵🏼 ouch ~
OP responded:
This is what I meant! I mentioned it because it seemed to factor in to her feeling comfortable saying this to me since she is ~20 years older than I am. not old, just older!
Spare_ad5009 wrote:
NTA. She assumed the worst of you and embarrassed you in public, bossing you around.
OP responded:
That's what my friend said, she said it like I was going to just run away and leave it there.
OI_Kimchi wrote:
Sometimes you just need to stand up for yourself to these people once for them to back down forever. I worked with a similar busybody once and she was responsible for reviewing our admin reports.
She had a bristly personality and a lot of people made complaints about her rude behaviour to management. I was walking in one winter morning and she spotted me heading down the corridor to my desk. She ran over and walked behind me telling me about what errors I had made in my paperwork.
This was a normal occurrence and I guess I just hit my limit that day. I stopped and looked at her and said "Jesus Christ, can I take off my f#$king jacket first before we start this s#$t?!" She looked like I'd slapped her in the face. She was the sweetest person ever to me afterwards and would regularly stop by my desk just to chat. That one interaction changed our whole dynamic.
roxanne327 wrote:
NTA. You were getting paper towels, not fleeing the scene. Kim saw a spilled coffee and thought it was her time to shine as hall monitor of the year. Shouting your name like a deranged mall cop while you’re literally fixing the problem? She can sit back down. The “BYEEE” was generous, I’d have hit her with a mop and a therapy suggestion.
otter_mayhem wrote:
NTA and don't feel bad. She deserved every bit of the 'childish' attitude. Did she think you were going to just pull a mop out of your a#$? Obviously you had to go get something to clean it up with. Doesn't matter that she's an older lady. She should know not to act like that.
whatintheeverloving wrote:
NTA at all, there's nothing that makes me rage as much as having someone tell me to do something I'm already in the middle of doing. If you were a colleague of hers who was notorious for constantly leaving messes for other people that'd be one thing, but I doubt that's the case here. She was just throwing her weight around and deserved to have her energy matched.
leeanforward wrote:
That’s one way to live life. Of course then you’ll be surrounded with snark. Maybe that’s why there are so many AHs these days. I prefer to surround myself with warmth and consideration. In my experience these things are contagious.
UsualHendryBeliever wrote:
NTA. Every workplace has at least one arrogant old bag who needs to pull their head in and stop trying to act high and mighty about everything. This is obviously yours. She didn't need to poke her beak in and you were perfectly within your rights to tell her to bugger off.