'AITA for snapping at a woman for assuming I must have it easier with my son?'
"AITA for snapping at a woman for assuming I must have it easier with my son?"
So for the record I have 3 kids 2 daughters and a son...my son, Griffin, my oh so precious middle child, is recently 15. I grew up with 3 younger brothers and babysat male cousins so, trust, I know boys.
He's at that boy's age where I can't get him to wear anything outside of ratty t-shirts, jeans, or sweats and all he wants to do is hang out with his " bros," football, his hidden old crusty t-shirt under his bed, or getting into trouble with that delinquent boyfriend of his...he's, of course, practically a mini me of his dad and picked up all the same frustrating habits and attitudes.
So I have plenty to complain about it which I did last weekend and I went on a bit of a girls trip with my friend Abigail and two of her coworkers while my ex had the kids. We got to talking rather more complaining after a good number of drinks about the stresses of raising kids and I happened to be talking about how frustrating Griffin could be sometimes...
....and mentioned how he almost got arrested for shoplifting with his boyfriend . Abigails coworker Nina chimed in saying I should have it so much easier than her because my son's gay. I was like what do you mean by that? And she's like it's much be much easier dealing with a boy who's more like me, practically one of the girls.
That really rubbed me the wrong way and I was like, no not at all he's practically his dad and maybe she stereotypes too much. She scoffs and was like, sure whatever, and I'm being too serious...
Maybe I got too upset at that and I said "maybe don't be such an dumb ignorant b." This is almost started a whole a thing. Abigail broke it up and that officially ruined and ended girls weekend. Abigail was a little upset and she thinks I way overreacted and now she's getting crap with her Nina at work.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Flat-Replacement4828 said:
NTA. She was very blatantly stereotyping him for being gay and also being sexist in general.
CakeOfShadows said:
NTA, she stereotyped your son and dismissed your frustrations. Was your response a little harsh? Sure but I can see why you'd get so upset.
CakeOfShadows said:
NTA, she stereotyped your son and dismissed your frustrations. Was your response a little harsh? Sure but I can see why you'd get so upset.
RandomPotato8000 said:
NTA. Nina was being incredibly ignorant and relied on a tired, homophobic trope that gay men are just women lite. Your son is a person, not a character from a 2000s rom com. You corrected her, she dismissed you and doubled down, and then she caught the consequences of being offensive. Abigail should be more embarrassed by her coworker's bigotry than your reaction to it.
lakeviewdude74 said:
ESH. What she said did was blatantly stereotyping and ignorant. However you resorting to name calling is also way over the top and makes you an AH as well. There was need for that. Learn how to communicate a little better.
SomeWomanFromEngland said:
ESH, she was coming out with rather homophobic stereotypes, but you escalated it unnecessarily and ruined everyone else’s weekend.
Whowhatnowhuhwhat said:
ESH. She had an internalized but insanely common stereotype. You corrected it. She was ready to move on without bothering to correct her mindset. And YOU escalated into personal attacks.
You weren’t defending your son like so many people seem to be saying because no one was attacking him. She didn’t double down and make it an issue, you did. A random friend not understanding how much of a boys boy he is isn’t worth a fight.