'Someone stole from me, how do I deal with the 'suspects? They're all people close to me.' UPDATED

"Someone stole from me [24F], how do I deal with the 'suspects?' Brother [27M], best friend [24M], GF [23F], housemate [28M] and housemate's GF [21F]."

My grandfather recently passed away, and he left me and my brother a watch, and a tin of cash each. We received about £750 each, and the watches are purely sentimental value.

I was given the tin with the money on the Saturday afternoon, and was too busy to go to the bank to deposit it, and banks are closed Sunday. Between Saturday afternoon (14th) and Monday morning (16th), the cash and the tin were stolen.

The tin was put in my bottom drawer on Saturday afternoon, and was not there Monday morning. The issue is that there were a large number of people who had the opportunity to take that money, and I don't know who did it. Seeing as I don't want to drag everybody onto the Jeremy Kyle show, I'm turning to the internet for suggestions.

How do I figure out who took this money? If I have to go to the authorities, I will, but I would really rather not, seeing as I have no evidence.

The suspects are as follows:

My brother, Michael, 27. He was at my house on the Saturday afternoon, as we'd both received our inheritances. We hung out for a bit talking about my granddad. He only had five minutes in my bedroom alone, but I can't remember if I saw the tin after he left. I was more interested in the watch, and it'd been a long day.

I don't think it'd be him, because he got his own money, but he does need money a lot more than me, as his girlfriend is pregnant. My best friend, Daniel, 24. He came over Sunday, and had plenty of opportunity throughout the day. I told him about the money, but didn't tell him it was in my room.

Daniel is wealthy as hell, and my £750 would be petty cash to him. I can't see why he would steal from me, but he would have had the best opportunity. My girlfriend, Carrie, 23. She stayed over Saturday night, and was super quick to leave Sunday morning. She's been acting a bit off at the moment, but she doesn't really get on with my housemate. I don't think she'd steal from me.

I wouldn't be with her if I did. But we've only been seeing each other for a couple of months. My housemate, Kane, 28. He wasn't in the house until Sunday evening, and his girlfriend was with him, and they both vouch for each other. Kane's a bit weird, and has poor boundaries (especially with Carrie), but he's generally pretty honest.

If I didn't think he was a safe person to be around, I wouldn't be living with him. Kane's girlfriend, Alessa, 21. I think it's her. I don't know her at all, but she really dislikes me and Carrie. But Kane swears up and down that he and Alessa were in each other's sight the whole time, and that she isn't a thief.

Alessa is also super bad with money, so if she had an extra £750 lying around, she would have had her nails done, and new clothing and things to show for it, which makes me think she might not have stolen it. Also, I have no idea how she would have known about the money, or found it.

I've spoken to each of the "suspects." Michael and Daniel are outraged on my behalf, but have distanced themselves, Carrie is super worried that I think it was her, and is pointing the finger at Kane and Alessa. Kane seems really confused by everything, and won't comment, and Alessa has accused everybody except herself and Kane.

She's even suggested that there was no money, and I'm trying to cause drama. Since that Monday, it's been awful. Carrie doesn't want to see me, Daniel has been avoiding me, and Alessa has been really in my face and passive aggressive about accusing her. Michael told me that it hurt him really badly to be accused of stealing from me.

Are there any ideas or suggestions on how to figure this out before I get the p*lice involved? And is there any point in involving the p*lice?

TL;DR: Someone stole £750. Is there a way to figure out who without going to the p*#$ce? Would the cops even be much use in this scenario?

The internet had a lot of thoughts.

[deleted] wrote:

So who on the list actually knew where you had the money hidden?

OP responded:

I'm not 100% sure. Michael was there when I put the money away, Carrie knows that's where I stash things for safekeeping (just in general), Daniel also knows my habit of using bottom drawers as a kind of "deal with this later" drawer, since we've been friends forever. I don't think Kane knows.

He knew I had inherited some money from my granddad, because me and Carrie were talking about my plans for the money, but he didn't know where it was. Alessa wouldn't know, unless Kane told her. So, Michael, Carrie and Daniel definitely knew. Kane might. Alessa most likely didn't.

Lampshade00 wrote:

So your main suspects are Alessa and Carrie. Wait until you are alone with Alessa/Kane and tell them that you decided to give whoever it was a chance at redemption - if you find 750 anonymously sent to your account within 2 weeks, you will consider everyone innocent and not notify the police.

Then, wait until you are alone with Carrie. Tell her you decided to give whoever it was a chance at redemption - if you find 750 in a plain envelope in your mail within 2 weeks, you will consider everyone innocent and not notify the police.

[deleted] responded:

Ohhhhh this is some game of thrones s*^t, I love it.

aquatictherapy wrote:

Call the c*ps. If no one will tell you, at least you'll have it on record that $750 was stolen from you. They might interview a couple of people and then set it aside. But maybe the person who took it will weed themselves from your life, which would be worth the 750 in the end in my opinion. Next time don't tell anyone about the money. And get a lock on your door. Or a safe.

traveler_mar wrote:

How many of these people actually knew you had this money? I’m betting it was Carrie because she’s acting nervous and insecure, but she is a less likely suspect if she didn’t even know you had the money. My second choice would be your brother. Sucks that it could be a family member but he knew where the money was and how much you had received.

Four days later, OP shared an uodate.

First off, thank you for the suggestions. I took each person aside and told them that I was going to go to the authorities if the money wasn't returned. I told each person to put the money in a different spot. About £100 was returned to the spot I told Kane to use.

Kane took me aside and asked me not to be too harsh on Alessa, as she is only young. I played along and agreed. Later, I sent Alessa a text and asked her if she knew that Kane was pinning the theft on her. She hit the roof. She came to the house, and flipped out at Kane. Apparently, he told her that he'd seen Carrie taking it, and that everybody else was ganging up and blaming her.

Kane apparently enjoys being the "puppet master". I could fill a book with the lies he's been telling the lot of us. His cloud cuckoo lander behaviour is more or less an act, the money was just sitting in his sock drawer (Alessa tore his room apart until she found the money, which she gave back to me). Kane just likes to see people fight.

I'm moving out of Kane's place, and in with Daniel. Alessa has dumped Kane. I have my money back. Daniel was never that fazed, so he's forgiven me. Michael is hurt, and Carrie is just relieved that I didn't really think it was her.

Probably going to spend this money on fun stuff to do with Daniel, Carrie and Michael to smooth over the justifiably hurt feelings incurred.

TL;DR: Kane stole the money to mess with people. I've got my money back. Thanks again.

The commenters were invested in the update.

GrandeJoe wrote:

Having a roommate who is an AH to others but cool with you is like voting for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party. They're eventually going to turn on you, too.

JajH wrote:

I loved reading about how this all went down. But:

"His cloud cuckoo lander behaviour."

As an American, I had no idea what this meant!

VanderBoffin wrote:

Wow! This is like an old-fashioned murder mystery. It's always the person you least expect. Nobody thought it was Kane in the last thread. Awesome update, thanks!

shakey_bakey wrote:

Dude, that was really sh--ty of Kane. I'm glad you're moving out. In the meanwhile, do you have a nanny cam in your room so he can't steal more of your stuff? I hope everything goes smoothly for you!