'AITA for demanding that my son’s GF get a paternity test for their alleged baby?' UPDATED

"AITA for demanding that my 15 year old son’s girlfriend get a paternity test for their alleged baby?"

My 15 year old son came to my husband and I last week, telling us that his girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. As someone who became a mother very young, I am devastated and so deeply disappointed. They’ve been together for about a year, but we always thought it was a kids thing, nothing harmless.

Regardless, when under our watch, we kept them under CONSTANT supervision, so this was all a shock. We know the girls parents and believed we were all on the same page about our kids.

Turns out we were wrong. When we called them, they spun some bullsh!t about how their daughter had already told us, basically placing the blame on their child for us not knowing she’s been pregnant for SEVEN months. On top of this, they’ve only known for about a month or two meaning she’s had basically no prenatal care.

We were trying to figure out what our next steps should be, so I called my older brother. Not wanting him to keep a secret from his family, I told him I’d individually call his wife and two daughters to tell them myself. When I called the youngest one, 16, who is close to my son, her first reaction was “I wonder if it’s even his.”

Upon hearing this, I immediately questioned my son, who then informed me of their very... colorful relationship. She’s apparently a serial cheater, even though I didn’t even think that was a factor in a 15yo’s relationship. I’ve never felt like such a bad mother listening to all that was going on in my sons life that I didn’t know about, knowing he’s never trusted me enough

After this I contacted the parents of his girlfriend, and as gently as I could, informed them that we wanted a paternity test done. They FLIPPED, they were pissed about what I was accusing their daughter of, and saying the trauma of even bringing that up to her is too much for a heavily pregnant child. While I might agree, this is my child’s life that’s gonna be deeply impacted too.

So my husband and I decided we’re gonna keep trying to get a paternity test done no matter what it takes. AITA for demanding this? Am I being unreasonable? As bad of a parent as I feel like I am right now for letting this happen, I feel I’m no where near as bad as the girls parents...

EDIT: just to clarify, weve gone over this with my son and he’s on board and understands why a paternity test is important.

ONE MORE EDIT: So we’ve been doing a lot of research over night (obviously I haven’t slept well) and found how non invasive the procedure could be, and the results come back in a week or so. We’re gonna go to the girls parents with this information and try to explain why it’s important for all of us to know. Thank you all for your input, I’ll try and post an update when I know more.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

NTA. It’s definitely reasonable in this situation to want paternity confirmed. Their reaction definitely doesn’t help in this situation. Push the issue.

Deadly9750 said:

NTA. Get that test done ASAP. Like you said this deeply impacts your child's life. If it isn't his, you all need to know.

momentswithmonsters said:

NTA- and they won’t have any legal standing if they go after your son for child support. The first thing the courts would do is order a paternity test.

ClementineCarson said:

If a serial cheater gets pregnant then a paternity test is a no brainer period. NTA

And LalaLogical said:

NTA. Long story short my husband went through a similar situation many years ago. He quit college and got a full time job to support the baby. At some point throughout the pregnancy homegirl admitted to sleeping with someone else and thankfully he told his mother.

The baby mama didn’t want a neonatal paternity test so they did the test the day the baby was born. The baby wasn’t, isn’t his.

Advocate for your family.

She shared this update in the comments:

Essentially it’s not my son’s. They knew that because the girl even knew it, and she had told them way earlier on. It’s a really religious community so they were just trying to save face by saying it’s my son’s to make their daughter seem less promiscuous. I guess a teen pregnancy is more acceptable when the kids are in a “relationship."

Apparently the daughter was never on board with this, which is why she’s been avoiding us, she’s the one that came to us with the truth. My son was really hurt by all of this, they are no longer allowed to see each other, and we’re trying to decide if it’s in his best interest to transfer him to a new school for the upcoming school year. He’s also going to start therapy soon