"AITA for stacking up my plates for the waiter?"
So basically on Friday night, me and the rest of my family went out for dinner at a really fancy pizza restaurant. As it was time for us to go and we had finished eating, I started stacking the plates and putting all the silverware on them. All of a sudden, my dad tells me “Stop! Don’t do that! It’s for the waiter to do. Just sit down and relax.” And forces me to put the plates down.
He then started lecturing me on how I was embarrassing myself because it’s their job and not mine. We started arguing and I knew we were getting loud because the other tables started glancing over at us.
My mom then started trying to defuse the situation by telling me to calm down and that he’s right. She started talking about etiquette and how I shouldn’t act like I’m in a lower class when out at a nice restaurant.
I’ve literally done this for my entire life every time I go out to eat. Why is it such a problem now? Is it because we were at a really nice restaurant? Why would they never mention this to me before? It’s just not in my character to not help the waiters when they come to collect our plates.
When the waiter came to collect our plates, both of my parents were glaring at me and my mom was holding my hands down to stop me from touching the plates. AITA? Did I ruin the evening? Does everyone already know this information that you’re not supposed to help them?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Opening_Action_9948 said:
NTA, as someone who has worked in several restaurants (fine dining included) it is always appreciated when someone stacks the plates. In fact, as a waiter (I know it shouldn’t do but oh well) it almost always guarantees you faster service for deserts or extra drinks.
The fact that your parents were so aggressive about it is bizarre, to the point of drawing attention to yourselves and holding your hands down. Perhaps it’s your parents who need to be re-educated in how to treat service workers.
Havranicek said:
NTA when I was a server I really disliked it when people did that. It was harder to carry and sometimes stacked unevenly. None of my colleagues liked this. Don’t stack. You can say thank you when they take your plate.
CreativeMusic5121 said:
I've been a server. I never liked when tables stacked plates, etc. because it was often done in a way that made it more difficult for me to gather them, not easier. Every server has their own way of stacking/balancing.
Did I find it offensive? No. But sometimes it made me think "I wish you hadn't done that". It's not rocket science. Place your utensils in such a way that they know you are finished eating. Let the staff do the rest.
Angelblade92 said:
NTA - You were trying to be nice, but as a former restaurant worker let me tell you, it’s not helpful when people stack plates. There is a system and way of doing things and it puts pressure on the waiter to take too much at one time. Also, it makes it look like they are too slow in getting to you.
Christmasqueen2022 said:
NTA. My mom was a waitress when I was growing up. So every time we went out to eat, we would stack our dishes, utensils etc. I still do it to this day.
TwilightReader100 said:
NTA. I've heard you're not supposed to because the wait staff have their own system of stacking them, but anytime I've watched staff coming to get plates from a table I'm at, they stack them the same way I would have. Maybe in my case, it's because I'm usually eating out on my own.