My mother-in-law is truly awful. She constantly makes remarks about me not deserving my fiancé. We are a sort of modern couple with him bringing in 70 percent of the money and doing about 30% of the household chores and me vice versa.
Its not an exact math of course but be are content with the workload and bill division. My MIL thinks that I should do ALL the chores and calls my job a small part time gig that I should be happy to do to help out without neglecting my duties.
Fiancé disagrees but going low contact is difficult when his father is and his sister in law (brothers wife) and I have gotten close. So my fiancé, his brother and SIL and I schemed to have me “break up with him” in front of his mom and just leave a wake of disastrous consequence to show her.
When she next made a remark at new years about it being time for him to find a traditional wife I said she was right and “broke it off”. She was shocked immediately and tried to walk it back.
My fiancé had a meltdown begging me to stay while my brother in law and his wife instigated by asking my MIL if she was racist (they didn’t tell me about this part but it was funny because she doesn’t seem to be racist in any real way)
She started to panic as I stormed out and my fiancé moved back home and has been bugging her to do all the things I do on the daily. Cooking and helping him with his New York Times puzzles and steaming his clothes and claiming she owes him for making me leave.
So this woman has been calling me nonstop begging to talk and after just 8 days she showed up at my work to full on apologize complete with a confession that BLEW me away.
She legit admitted to thinking that I loved him enough to let her say whatever without consequence and assumed that bugging me would get me to do more for her son so he could have more time for her and time to relax.
He currently works long hours as owning a home is a goal for us and though I also work doubles she thinks that customer service isn't as hard as IT even though working with the public is super exhausting.
She cried and begged me to take him back and said he was LAZY. When I “reluctantly” agreed she promised to leave me alone and the next day sent me a gift basket with Sees candy in it.
My fiancé admitted he started to be extra needy to her on purpose after the 2nd day because he missed me and wanted to drive her crazy enough to get her to apologize quick.
OMG, you could not have handled it any better. Cheers to you, your fiancé and the other family that helped you carry this out. This was perfect.
You know it's serious when Sees candy gets involved.
cocoabutterbaby20 (OP)
YES. At our home my man is thoughtful and pitches in. At her place, he reverted to a 6 foot tall toddler and tortured her.
Your partnership is the perfect example of "teamwork makes the dream work."
Seriously, and getting brother and SIL in on it? That's just brilliant!
Love how everyone supported you. Even her own kids!! They are amazing & you should keep them if you want 😂
Great “dramatic” effort but there still needs to be clear expectations of boundaries. When you get married, you and your husband are now the focus. With that, you need to work with fiancé now on shared responsibilities. He must explain to his families boundaries of what is appropriate and respectful of your relationship.
If there is a perceived crossing if that boundary line, he must talk to his family. When a spouse gets mad at the in-laws, he/she will be labeled a trouble-maker, especially if don’t have the backing of their partner. Then, there is a whole other problem in the relationship.
I'm an old Boomer and I totally approve of this message. Your tactic worked perfectly. And your co conspirators all played their parts well. I bet that old b-word will stay in her lane now. Lol I just hope she never finds out, but eff her if she does.
I love this so much. Some mothers have a hard time letting go. But it’s a lesson we all have to learn; first as young adults, then as parents ourselves. You helped her grow, while strengthening your relationship.
Why the eff did you ever go back?
cocoabutterbaby20 (OP)
he is a good guy, and his family loves me. As I explained we are content outside of his mothers nagging especially around the holidays. I wanted to keep her around but shut her up.
WELL PLAYED!! I woulda held out a bit longer just so the crazy MIL got an extra good dose of her son being lazy.
I remember moving from customer facing to background work and how relaxed everyone was. The shocker for me was nobody cared if I was 10 minutes late. In customer service, I was treated like I committed a cardinal sin if I was even a minute late.
That was some serious commitment on all of your parts to teach someone a lesson. I have a feeling she won't understand the turnabout is fair play.
So real question; how has you & MIL relationship been since then!? And are y’all still leading this on? 🤣 if so, how long has it been ? Hahaha