'Yeah I’ll stay up for 24 hours rather than have my husband take a day off…' AITA?
"Yeah I’ll stay up for 24 hours rather than have my husband take a day off…"
Doesn’t live on this planet I don’t think. So last night my son (3) woke up at about 3am complaining of neck pain. He was crying in pain and couldn’t move his neck at all.
I obviously panicked did all the rest of the checks for meningitis which thankfully he didn’t have, he struggled to sleep crying whenever he moved and wanted his mum so obviously I didn’t sleep whilst my husband slept a full nights sleep. I’d had maybe 3/4 hours sleep in total when he was up for the day at 7am.
I work in a hospital and I’ll be working evening tonight and won’t get home till 4am. My husband works in a school on self employed basis, so he can move his hours around. He won’t get paid in this next pay slip for it, but he’ll be able to squeeze it in somewhere else next month.
My son was still in pain when he woke up, obviously didn’t send him to childcare given he was in so much pain and then we waited until our GP was open at 8am to get an appointment which we got for 10:30 this morning.
My husband took the day off, so i could get some level of sleep before work. My son wanted to call grandma so him and my husband spoke on FaceTime to her. She’s obviously asked why husband wasn’t in work, and he’s told her about my son being in pain, me being up all night and then on nights.
Husband: "yeah I took the day off, son is in pain with his neck just waiting for this drs appointment so we know what’s happening and OP on nights."
Her: "well you still could’ve gone to work OP would have just had to get up and look after him."
Husband: "not really, she was up from about 3am she’s on nights, wouldn’t have been fair to her."
MIL: "she could sleep later when you got back you really didn’t need to take the day off work."
Husband: "she can’t sleep later she has to leave the house at 3. It’s not fair for her to be up 24 hours over night on 4 hours sleep."
MIL: "well she still could’ve got up."
Guys I’ve had now maybe 5 hours sleep between husband coming in to talk about the drs, getting son to drs, and then getting home, I’m exhausted. Son got diagnosed with a neck sprain, and between the ibropfen and Calpol seems to be doing better though still won’t move his neck far.
But it’s just a joke, like how can anyone look at hospital night shifts and be like yeah you’re in the wrong for your partner taking some time off so you can sleep for work when he can move his hours around no real consequences.
We’re a partnership last week I took a day off when son had a random fever and under the weather. It’s life, we have a child we both have to make sacrifices for our child’s wellbeing.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
How did you come upon this conversation? Did your husband tell you? Because he should be shutting that nonsense right down, and then protecting you. Which means not sharing with you the insensitive and unsupportive things that mil said.
Your husband was also way too accommodating with that conversation. At her first attempt to butt into your lives, he should have a strong definitive “Oh, no thanks. Not your business.”
These women just can’t stand their sons actually being good husbands and fathers. It’s so freaking weird. I think a lot of them have so much internalized misogyny that they genuinely don’t believe men should be carers at all. And true partnership is an entirely forieign concept to them.
Let’s be real, a lot of older men were awful husbands and fathers. And a lot of women just accepted it as the norm and went through life in miserable relationships. I think there is some jealousy and maybe resentment seeing men step up more now.
Some boomer women are deeply misogynistic. They had terrible husbands who did FA for the kids so they project that onto millennials who are raising kids as more of a team effort.
They take on this idea that the mum should suffer and destroy herself rather than the dad giving up anything as a badge of pride rather than admit their husband sucked and deal with processing those feelings. It’s good your husband is on the same page! Sorry about your MIL.
How is it her business at all. Stop telling her things. She's very rude.
First of all, it's none of her business. Your dh needs to let her know that. Second, she can screw all the way off with her useless opinions. I hope your son heals up fast.
She’s just being mean. He gave her every logical reason in the book for why the situation played out like it did and still, in the end, the answer was that you could basically go screw yourself. She’s just being hateful. She wasn’t trying to understand the situation or either of your perspectives. She was making the point that she just doesn’t care about you.
I think part of the problem is if someone doesn't work 8-5, M-F they just can't comprehend what it really means. DH worked retail for a long time and my parents really expected if he got off at 6pm then he should be home by 6:15. And if he wasn't home by 6:30pm I was expected to call and ask "what's wrong".
Oldest has been doing fireworks and special event lighting so those are usually night-time jobs. Youngest has been working as a bartender, so I try to find out when they have to close (2:00 am, out by 3:00 am) so I don't accidentally call or text too early.