'AITA for staying in the delivery room while my sister gave birth instead of waiting outside?'
"AITA for staying in the delivery room while my sister gave birth instead of waiting outside?"
My sister Hannah (30F) is married but her husband is deployed overseas until February. When he left she asked if I'd (27M) be her backup person for the birth in case she went into labor when her friends weren't available. I said yeah of course.
Last Saturday her water broke. She called me panicking because it was three weeks early and she was home alone. I left work, got her to the hospital, texted my girlfriend (26F) what was happening.
My girlfriend met us there. Everything was moving fast. When Hannah's contractions got really bad she asked if I'd stay in the room with her. She didn't want to be alone. Her mom is dead, her best friend was stuck in traffic, and obviously her husband is deployed.
I said yes. My girlfriend got this look on her face but just said she'd wait outside. I stayed through the whole birth. It was intense but Hannah needed someone there. She had a healthy baby girl.
My girlfriend came back after. Met the baby. Seemed fine. Then we got in the car and she went off on me. Said it was weird and inappropriate that I was in there. That I saw my sister in a "vulnerable state" and brothers shouldn't see that.
I said her husband is deployed and she didn't want to be alone giving birth. My girlfriend said she could have asked the nurses or asked my girlfriend instead. We've been dating five months. Hannah barely knows her.
We've been fighting for three days. She keeps saying it was inappropriate and I crossed boundaries. I keep asking what boundaries exactly and she just says "you know what I mean."
I don't know what she means. I was supporting my sister during a major medical event. This morning I said maybe she should talk to someone about this reaction.
She got angry and said I'm calling her crazy. I'm not apologizing for being there when my sister needed me. But my girlfriend is making me feel like I did something wrong. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
AltruisticLiving4751 (OP)
Her husband sent me a message yesterday thanking me for being there when he couldn't. My girlfriend saw it and didn't say anything. She keeps calling it "weird" that Hannah and I are close. She's an only child so maybe she doesn't get sibling relationships but this feels like a huge overreaction.
Lose the girlfriend. You are a good brother, you were right where you needed to be in that moment.
NTA. Your girlfriend is sexualising your relationship with your sister. She's imagining you seeing your sister’s private parts, and having thoughts beyond it just being her body. Drop the girlfriend. She's probably the type to think fathers shouldn't change their daughters diaper.
Exactly. She is threatened by his own sister because he was in the same room as her exposed vagina. Like first off, I doubt he was looking anywhere near there and instead focusing on her face and holding her hand while she pushed. Even if he did see something, she was literally giving birth.
As someone who's done it I can confidently say it's extremely unsexual and purely medical. No one cares that your vagina is on show, you pooped on the table and boobs are likely hanging out or leaking. This girl is going to make is life hell if he doesn't.
NTA. Your sister needed you and asked you to stay. She was the priority and you did the right thing. I don't think your girlfriend is the right woman for you if she can't understand that.
I guess your girlfriend is just shocked because now you know your sister has a (shh!) vagina. Pretty immature behavior on her part.
NTA Good job being supportive. You need to examine your relationship. She is showing her true colors after only 5 months.
I don’t think there’s anything to examine. Your adolescent of a girlfriend who has been in your life for about 20 minutes can’t get past sexualizing the act of giving birth to a child and you saw your sister’s hoohaw. Kick her to the curb. She’s a self-centered child.
You’ll find someone with a wonderful family and you will instantly have even more siblings and relationships that will do nothing but fill your heart and life with love and will bring your sister, brother-in-law and baby into their hearts. She’s like the Grinch with a tiny little heart, plus a dirty closed mind. Return the gift. Lose the girl.
NTA. As a Mama of two boys and about to give birth for the 3rd time any day now (37 weeks pregnant), it is VERY necessary to have a support person. Not just a nurse, not some girl she just met 5 months ago, but someone she trusts unequivocally. Obviously she trusts you, her brother. Your girlfriend has a lot of maturing to do in life.
NTA. You did nothing wrong here, childbirth can be extremely stressful and your SO lacks empathy. Telling you nurses will do instead of a supportive family member, seriously those nurses will busy, they ain't no time to handhold. Take a step back and think if she has a habit acting like this.
NTA! Now dump the girlfriend. She's thinking you were around your sister's vagina and she's freaking out. 1. She's not very intelligent, 2. She's just high maintenance and trouble. Find a smart girl that actually comprehends real life.
NTA, she is not the one. She is sexualizing the birth of a child. This is why she thinks it is weird. Time for her to go. You will have an extra strong connection to your niece or nephew and she will resent it. This will always cause contention between you two.