'AITA for 'stealing the spotlight' at my cousin's baby shower with my engagement and baby?'

"AITA for stealing my cousin's spotlight at her baby shower with my 2 month old son and my engagement ring?"

I do not believe I did anything wrong here but maybe I did? Please tell me if I was an AH or not because I am genuinely confused. This past Sunday my sister Kylie (40F) and I (25) carpooled 4 hours to a different state with my niece Clara (11F) year old daughter and my 2 month old son Little Man, to attend our Cousin Piper (33F) Baby-shower.

We got a text from Piper at the end of September telling us of her pregnancy and a little save the date invite for her shower. She informed us an invite with more details would be in the mail asap. She is due early January. Both me and Kylie were basically screaming in her living room in excitement and also disbelief that she could keep that hidden for so long.

In mid October we received the invitation with additional details like it was a girly thing and not a co-shower. The same day we got the official Invite, my boyfriend of 5 years proposed to me and I said yes. I posted that on FB. (Only my family and friends have my FB and im strict with it because I like privacy from strangers. Yeah I know my post is ironic in this sense.)

We both asked Piper if kids were allowed because Clara was also excited and I didn't want to separate from Little man or my 3 year old, Tommy. She said they were and she was excited to meet Little man.

As the date approaches me and Fiance discuss details and eventually Fiance informed me that he was going to take Tommy for me that day and they were going to hang out with my BIL (40M) and Nephew (14M) and do some guy stuff. (Which I later found out was them just getting into various shenanigans like throwing rocks at some soda cans and seeing if they could make it explode...)

Now to the baby shower part. Everything was going well. Piper held Little man for a while and asked a million questions about babies and took millions of pictures. during gifts she periodically asked me questions about the products and I answered. after gifts Piper's sister (28F) asked me questions about my engagement and the ring and we giggled together.

It wasn't until after all of this when we were leaving, Pipers friends, three girls, and her MIL approached me... while i was alone outside with my baby. They told me i was being selfish and rude for taking away pipers attention on HER day. When i asked how, they said that I brought a baby to a baby shower and that was basically the same as wearing white to a wedding that's not yours.

Then the MIL spoke up and began commenting on my ring. She said it was highly inappropriate to show off my personal "endeavors" during someone else's big moment.

I felt terrible. I apologized and went to sit in Kylie's car reflecting on the day. i remembered Piper being happy and smiling and her sister asked me about the ring. i didn't flaunt anything.

So I chalked it up to me not understanding the social situation again as I normally do. (I am autistic) after we left I ended up crying because i was worried that i did in fact ruin it for Piper. This is when Kylie told me i didn't. so I asked a couple more people in my family. mom, granny and my aunt says i was the AH. Sister, BIL, Fiance, and our friend says im not. So, AITA?

This is what people had to say to OP:

Cursd818 said:

NTA. Tell Piper that her friends and MIL ambushed you with personal attacks and ask if they were speaking for her.

If she was upset (which I doubt), apologise. When she says she had no idea this was happening and apologises to you for their behaviour, tell her that she has nothing to be sorry for and that you really enjoyed the day and spending that time with her. Let her handle these people. They're her problem, not yours.

FantasticBoot7205 said:

NTA - Piper knew you were bringing the baby and was happy about it.

GhostLeopard_666 said:

NTA, have you spoken to Piper? If she didnt have a problem with it then there is no issue. Her friends and MIL are just embarassing themselves by creating drama for no reason.

Nadja-19 said:

So newly engaged people should not wear their ring to baby showers or skip them?? Ffs. This culture of no one else should have anything big or exciting happen to them because someone else is having a bay or getting married is insane. And before anyone shares good news they need to make sure no one else has good news before they live their life.

I agree that no one should announce stuff like that at someone else’s event. But that isn’t what was happening. You already posted about the engagement so people already knew. You asked in advance about bringing your baby. I think they were way out of line to say anything to you. Personally I wouldn’t have much to do with them going forward.

Two days later, OP shared this update:

After plenty of you telling me I should just talk to Piper... Well I gave her a call. I apologized for stealing her spotlight and that I was in no way trying to do that. She didn't know what I was talking about. I then explained what her MIL said and some of her friends and the phone was silent for a moment. I was getting nervous with the silence so I said "hello?" again.

That's when I heard her say that she was there but she was grabbing her husband so I could tell him what I just said to her also. After stating it again I heard him audibly gasp.

It turns out neither of them think I stole the spotlight at all. I didn't know this but one of the friends that confronted me was also newly engaged and 2 months pregnant. So her saying something to me was shocking and confusing to Piper. She said she knew her MIL would pull something but she definitely did not expect it to be this. She figured she would have sabotaged the pastries or something like that.

After our call she contacted all of them and demanded answers why. MIL doesn't believe she was in the wrong and still thinks I was trying to flaunt my accomplishments around. To which Pipers husband told her I wasn't and she should have come to Piper or himself if she thought there was a real issue. That's all I heard of that situation.

All the friends apologized and admitted that they didn't actually think I stole any spotlight. Apparently MIL kept making comments to them about how I always start drama and steal peoples spotlight to cause drama since she knew who I was but the friends didn't.

In resolution, it was just a MIL issue and I was an unsuspecting casualty. I also let her read this post and the comments and both of us agree that anyone saying people should take their engagement ring off for any reason in regard to an event, is ridiculous and entitled.

To clarify some things up. My engagement was well known to my entire family and friends. Her friends didn't know because I don't have a habit of hunting down everyone in the web of people to tell of my news. I am planning another trip to her state soon and she asked if we could meet for some brunch and to pack her hospital bag.

Overall I am very excited for her and wish her a safe delivery of her baby and her heath remains good. Since my last post, my bestie (who is basically a sister) kept handing me a soda bottle that wasn't mine. It took me WAY TOO LONG to realize that it said "I'm pregnant" on the side of it. So now I am so excited for both of them and can't wait to meet their babies. When they are ready for visitors of course.