When a frustrated mother posted on Reddit's 'Am I the as*hole' forum, her story brought out some strong reactions.
u/thesmithsthrow writes:
AITA (Am I the as*hole) for refusing to let my husband drive my son to school with his stepsiblings anymore?
Context: My ex husband and I have custody of our 11 yo son. He's diabetic and since his diagnosis is relatively new, we're still working on managing things for him so he could continue to live a normal life just like other kids. His stepdad is responsible for dropping him off/picking him up from school since his stepsiblings (10 and 13) attend the same school.
The issue began when my son started asking me or his bio dad to take him to school instead of his stepdad. He said the the reason for that is because his stepsiblings open his lunchbox and take all the additional snacks that he needs in case he had a hypoglycemic episode (that's what we call 'low blood sugar').
His stepsiblings would take his lunchbox from him and take the snacks and only leave him his sandwich and water. His stepdad thinks there's nothing wrong with 'sharing' although I explained to him about a millionth times how important his snacks are. He promised that he won't let his kids touch my son's lunchbox from now on and I believed him.
Days ago, my son came home and told me his stepsiblings took his snacks from his lunchbox again. I was enraged I asked if his stepdad saw them, he said yes and he scolded him when he refused to let them have the snacks. I lost it, I blew up at my husband and told him that my son won't be riding in his car again with his stepsiblings after what they'd done and after he allowed it.
I told him that my son's father will be driving him to and from school from now on. He lashed at me saying that I was driving a wedge between the kids and teaching my son to grow up being selfish and self centered and anti-social. And also making my son distant from him and getting him to favor his bio dad.
I refused to discuss it now he's acting all hurt and disrespected saying it was not worth ruining the kids relationship over some snacks.
She later clarified:
His argument is that I don't get his kids the same amount of snacks I get for my son (they go through their snacks in no time). In my defense, I said that the snacks are part of my son's diabetes management routine and he, unlike his stepsiblings, needs them anytime.
And so I don't feel like I'm obligated, or that I should buy his stepsiblings the same amount of snacks seeing that they can do without them for a while. Am I making sense here?
Reddit was horrified with his man's actions.
Sel-Reddit says:
NTA. If it’s not worth ‘ruining the relationship’ between them, he should STOP THEM. His ‘hurt reaction’ is infuriating - your child’s health is the most important thing not his feelings on being held accountable. It’s not antisocial to take care of your health (what ridiculous excuses).
A newly diagnosed diabetic child has major daily responsibility and everyone should be supporting him, helping him to stay safe and healthy and learn these habits. That’s a good family dynamic to foster - not ignoring his condition. It’s incredibly dangerous to disregard it. Oh, and it’s not ‘SHARING’ when you TAKE the items - that’s STEALING.
bethbethbeth01 agrees:
Unless your husband has some kind of rare cognitive impairment that means he doesn't understand the meaning of 'medical condition,' he's the one who's the AH here, not you. (as a longtime reddit fan, my first instinct is, of course, to suggest dumping him, but I'm trying to curb that instinct.)
BUTTeredWhiteBread responded:
No, no, this is a 'dump him immediately' scenario. He's cool with a kid possibly dying because he won't parent his feral kids.
alone-by-choice adds:
and scolds his stepson when this happens!! Like WTAF. This guy is unbelievable. I can’t imagine what OP sees that’s worth saving.
rosered936 comments:
Even if he doesn’t understand the severity of the medical issues, he does understand that his sons are stealing the majority of his stepson’s lunch. If he thought it was unfair his stepson got so many more snacks he could easily pack snacks for his sons. He is definitely a bully rather than an idiot.