Wife tells husband 'bratty' stepdaughter can come home IF she pays daughter back. UPDATED 3X
"AITA For telling my husband that my stepdaughter can’t return home until she pays my daughter back"
Educational_Pick_368
I (30 f) have a 14 year old daughter Leia. Married my husband Mark (46 M) 6 years ago. He has two children from a previous marriage Koi (16 M) and Coral (14f). Me and Mark have the kids full time but his kids live with their mom for a few weeks during the summer.
They moved into my lake house which has five bedrooms. Two of the bedrooms upstairs have bathrooms. My daughter had one of those rooms. But as the girls began high school Coral began complaining about not having a bathroom and said it’s unfair. Mark and Koi told her to stop complaining.
Leía said it was fine and asked us if she could turn the basement into her room. I didn’t like that idea but she begged. So I agreed. Turns out my daughter wanted a room makeover so this worked out. We give the kids allowance and allowed them to get a work permit.
Koi worked at an arcade and told the girls he could get them jobs. Coral refused to work but Leia agreed. After five months of saving her allowance, she was able to buy everything she needed to decorate. Coral never bothered to go down there because she believed it was full of spiders, but Koi was down there everyday helping her.
After a week she completely transformed the basement. She invited everyone down, and it was stunning. I didn’t even know that computer towers could be clear. She looked so proud. Coral then screamed that it wasn’t fair and that she wanted the basement now.
Everyone began yelling at her but she began crying and before we know it she ran over to the computer and threw the tower on the ground. The glass shattered and one of the monitors fell to the floor also breaking.
My daughter cried. I explained to Mark that Coral has to pay for this. He said her emotions are just high and that we’ll get situated when everything calms down. I ran to Coral and yelled saying that she’s on punishment. Mark didn’t agree but I didn’t care. Coral was unnecessarily crying, and ran to her mother's car.
Koi was trying to help my daughter, and Mark tried to hand her 300 dollars but Koi explained that Coral caused about a thousand dollars worth of damages. He said luckily the expensive pieces in the case were saved, but the case itself was about 450 and the monitor was 200.
Mark explained that he doesn’t have that kind of money. So I said she can’t come back until my daughters stuff is repaired with a sincere apology. Koi agreed and mark was upset saying he couldn’t do that to his daughter.
I told him to leave if that’s the case. Mark left for a few hours and handed my daughter a check for 1000 dollars. I explained that Coral can’t come back if there is no punishment.
My husband’s ex wife is saying that I’m banning her from our home because she didn’t deserve that bigger space and that we were treating Coral unfairly. But I said she did that there was nothing unfair about the situation. The Ex just hung up.
Now my husband’s ex in laws are bombarding him with phone calls saying he’s a horrible dad. His sister even said he’s being a bad parent and they’re best friends so it’s really getting to him. This happened last night and he hasn’t gotten up yet. Should I apologize? AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's initial post:
smuttybooklover02
I say NTA. She is old enough to know that what she did was wrong. She wanted a room with a bathroom. She gor that. HER bio brother offered to help her get a job for extra money. She refused. She refused to go in the basement before this because of spiders.
Now... YOUR daughter gave up her room, got a job, and was responsible. She spent her own hard earned money AND the money she saved from allowance. She put her time and money into making a new space her own. She was rightfully proud of it and wanted to share with her family.
When she did, her step sister destroyed her property and wasn't even sorry about it. Then she went to her other parents and good chance didn't even give all the information so she had everyone on her side. She is the jerk in this situation!
The fact that her BIO brother knew she screwed up bad should say something. As for the bio mom and the ex in-laws, shame on them for taking just the word of an emotional teenager. They should at least talk to the brother who was there. If not the dad. 🙄
And his sister shame on her! Because ypur daughter doesn't share DNA with her, she is less than? Is she not aunt to your daughter? Does she really not consider her family? A small part of me understands that her relationship with the other two runs deeper, BUT once you two got married, you n yours became their family. Or I hope that's how it worked.
As for your husband, shame on him. The fact that he just disregards (from what I gathered) how your daughter feels is shameful. And that he thinks it's okay for his daughter to behave that way, and just to throw money, he said he didn't have at her is disrespectful.
For anyone who blames your I think they need to reread. No where did you state she was gone for good. You simply said she needed to apologize and mean it to your daughter. The ball is in her court now.
Its not like your pressing charges for destruction of property. You want her to apologize for being a jerk and to mean it. I hope it works out. And good on the son for being supportive of your daughter. Its hard being a step kid to siblings. So, the fact that he seems to make that effort is amazing!
Lisa_Knows_Best
Everything this person said but one additional thing, get your daughter a lock for the basement door. Coral should never be allowed back down there unless Leia specifically allows her to come in.
earnandsave1
Coral’s punishment needs to include paying her dad back the $1000 to cover the damages she caused. That needs to be from not getting her allowance at all, and she could also start working so that she can pay the debt and get some money for herself sooner.
theworldisonfire8377
NTA. Coral sounds like a spoiled brat, and Mark needs to realize that at 14 she should have a better handle on her emotions than throwing a tantrum because someone else has something nice that she wants.
She absolutely should apologize for behaving like a toddler and Mark needs to stop coddling his kid. At least the older brother seems to have a clue. Let him stew in his feelings, maybe he'll get some insight into why his dismissive parenting isn't doing anyone any favors.
superflex
NTA. So to be clear, first it wasn't fair that Leia had one of the upstairs bedrooms with an ensuite bath. I am assuming that when the basement project got the green light, the natural outcome of that was going to be Coral moving into that bedroom.
Second, Coral wanted nothing to do with the basement. Didn't want the space, contributed no time, effort, or money to the work on it. And then when she saw the finished product, all of the sudden she wanted it, and "it wasn't fair" again.
Third, Coral got shut down, and in a fit of rage, smashed Leia's custom PC and one of her monitors. Coral is an entitled brat. I think you're on shaky ground with the concept of banning one of your stepchildren from your marital home, but punishment and restitution is 100% warranted.
One week later, the OP returned with an update.
"Update Aita for kicking my stepdaughter out"
Educational_Pick_368
I found out the complete story and there is a lot of drama. It’s over a boy. So both my daughters are cheerleaders and it’s a Valentine’s Day dance coming up. All of Corals friends are cheerleaders and they all date football players except her. So for the past month her friends have been trying to hook her up with Brad. But it turns out he is interested in Leia.
After all the games Brad talked with Leia. So Coral came up with a rumor that Leia plays roblox. It’s not really a rumor, but Brad found out. So after school a few days before the incident, Coral tells Brad how childish Leia is for still playing roblox.
And Brad says he doesn’t think it’s childish. Turns out him and his friends play and then invited Leia to Join them. Then yesterday after school in the hallway, Brad had his friends recorded this big proposal to the dance that included flowers and chocolate and Leia accepted.
Apparently Coral was crying at cheerleading practice and Leia went up to ask what’s wrong and if she needs anything. Coral and her friends started cursing Leia out. So Leia just backed off.
Then this morning Coral posted on Facebook about how Leia is the favorite child and that she was kicked out of her decorated bedroom in order for Leia to have it. Her mom (Drea) had also posted something similar.
Koi didn’t want this to ruin Leia’s reputation. So he posted everything about their lies. He also posted a picture of the shattered case. And explained how everything Coral said was a lie and how Leia was nice enough to give up her bedroom. Drea also called us some horrible names. Then Koi responded that the reason the custody is no longer 50/50 is because Drea’s husband hates kids.
Apparently Coral didn’t know this but Drea sent my husband a text saying he knows how her husband feels about the kids being here, so he needs to make up with her and let her come home.
Mark then screenshot this and sent it to Coral. She came home and went straight to her room she, skipped practice. Leia is on her way, so when she gets home we’ll have a family meeting.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after this update from the OP:
SpecialistBit283
Koi seems like such a good kid, doing what’s right instead of being biased.
Gracelandrocks
Sounds like Koi is tired of his sister's mean girl antics and prefers his calmer, more mature step sister's company instead.
ZombieBuffet93
I will never understand these parents marrying people that hate their children. WTF?🙄
JuliaX1984
If Dad wants to keep his daughter out of her mom's house, he needs to be a parent and properly discipline her for this. He has the power to make this right.
WearyYogurtcloset589
My goodness,that's ,ok I'.m speechless. What I would like to say is that Coral should have to work to pay Leia back. She needs to know that they are consequences to her actions,and that behaaviour isn't accepted. I'm still following this. Update me!
The next day, the OP did in fact return with an update.
"Update 2: Aita for kicking my stepdaughter out?"
Educational_Pick_368
So we had a long talk. Coral came down and apologized to Leia. And she was jealous about Brad. She also apologized to me for lying to her aunt. She believed that Leia got everything she asked for. So I had her explain and the only thing she said was Brad. As I was about to explain Mark stepped in and told her that wasn’t everything.
Mark then explained everything Coral got which included a room makeover which Leia had to pay for on her own. A brand new laptop after Leia had to pay for her entire computer setup. He then asked is this really about a guy that she doesn’t have anything in common with?
Coral then told us how popular he was and that because Leia is a nerd they don’t mesh. Other than cheerleading, Leia is in quiz bowl and a robot making club. Leia explained now that football was over Brad was also in those clubs and so are his friends who the other cheerleaders date.
Coral than began crying again because after the Facebook post her friends explained that their boyfriends don’t want to be involved with a liar and advised them to stop hanging with her so they didn’t sit with her at lunch today.
Mark calmly told her that was her own doing. She broke down and said I know. Mark then held her in his arms and apologized about sending her the screenshot and explained that I wasn’t the bad guy.
She then explained that Drea told her that I forced mark to get full custody so that we all could be one big happy family. So that along with the Brad situation made her lash out. She then ran to hug me saying how sorry she was. And looked a Leia and apologized once again.
I brought up family therapy and everyone agreed. Coral took the post down already and apologized to Leia publicly. I know things are looking up but without friends and this situation with her mom, I’m not sure what’s going to happen.
12 days later, the OP again returned.
"Update 3: Aita for kicking my stepdaughter out?"
Educational_Pick_368
So things did not get better. We went to one therapy session as a family and it went great. And the girls started hanging out again. Coral got her friends back and everything seemed normal.
However when the girls went to the dance it wasn’t good. Brad and Leia were dancing and Coral became jealous again looking at them. So she told her friends her plan was to pour juice on Leia. Coral believed that her friends had her back because apparently they all laughed and agreed to help her.
Leia had on a blush dress so the drink would have easily been visible. The plan was for Leia to leave so Coral could dance with Brad. But as the group made their way over to Leia, one of the girls pushed the cup up so it spilled back on Coral. The girl said “oops” and her friends began laughing at her. She ran out crying and called her dad to pick her up.
Later that night the girls had told Coral that she was just being mean and vindictive at this point so they were tired of her behavior then removed her from the group chat. They added Leia to the group and she told me everything when she got back.
At school Coral tried to apologize to her friends but they ignored her. So she left school. We spent the whole day looking for her and found her at her aunts. She was truthful with her aunt and she explained that her behavior is what caused her to lose her friends. We were there at the point and complained everyone was against her.
Later that night Coral tried to take her life. We found her in time. So now she’s spending time at the hospital. I really don’t know where to go from here. My house has been peaceful and I feel bad that I feel good about that. But I hope the Coral gets the help she needs.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's latest update:
Constant_Chicken_408
Koi is one solid dude.
Blue0Birb
The real MVP of this story, honestly. Him standing up for Leia and posting the truth of the matter AND spilling the beans on why their mom ACTUALLY wants Coral to go back probably saved OP and Leia SO much stress since it cuts the “steps vs blood family” sides right out.
Yiuel13
Koi did everyone a favor by pushing on that house of cards ready to crumble. While Coral got her well deserved comeuppance for her tantrum, it's her egg donor that deserves the cake as the biggest ahole of all in this mess. And Egg Donor fully deserves to be exposed as the malignant ahole she is and Coral and Koi should definitely cut contact from her unhinged toxicity.
Treehorn8
This sounds like a teen movie plot. After OP said that Leia was an unpopular nerd, I half expected her to say that Leia became prom queen after Brad took off her glasses.
ohdearitsrichardiii
30-year-old with a five bedroom lakehouse. And then her 16-year-old works at an arcade for a few months and makes enough to redo the basement. And the kid does it alone with only another 16-year-old to help.
Jojolyon
I just love the idea of a girl telling the popular boy how another girl is lame because she plays video games and the boy being "wow a nerd girl awesome."