Stepmom refuses to let son borrow $3,000 guitar for school, 'ruins' his freshman year. AITA?
"AITAH for refusing to let my step son borrow my $3,000.00 guitar for school and ruining his freshman year?"
I've been married to my husband for 3 years now. He has one son. The boys other can't stand me. She hates the fact that their father has found someone after 5 Years of being divorced.
Anyway, because of that, My stepson Jack and I don't have the best relationship. I am not involved in his life because that's the way he and his mother wants it. He won't speak to me when I try to have a conversation so I just don't even bother anymore.
I have offered to do things for him but hid mother always says that she doesn't want "that woman" involved. To keep the peace, I stay out. Now Jack and I are both musicians. I play several brass and wind instruments as well as guitar. He has joined band this year as a 9th grader.
Naturally, he wants to play jazz guitar. His mother knows I have several instruments and I offered one of the lesser value guitars to him but he and his mother want my 1963 Fender.
Absolutely NOT!! For one, he doesn't take care of anything he has. And number two, why am I going to loan something that valuable out to someone who does not want to be around me?
Sure, the guitar is worth way more but I got a deal on it for 3k. My husband says I am absolutely right for not doing it and he says I shouldn't even offer the old Squire guitar either and it's only 250.00. His mother has been blowing up our phones, calling me every name in the book because I am " driving a wedge in his and his father's relationship?"
How is that so? She says that I should try and make amends and let him borrow it for the school year. Why am I having to make amends? She even had her friends harass me on Facebook? She claims I ruined his freshman year for band and I need to make it right.
Here's what top commenters had to say about the one:
Wide-Heron-1015 said:
NTA. 100% mom wants to steal that guitar, sell it, then try to say the kid lost it and make you feel bad if you try to get reimbursed. I don't know why she would push so hard for this otherwise.
GreekAmericanDom said:
NTA. I wonder if you don't have a husband problem. He should be intervening here. Honestly, you should block the toxic ex and have all her communications go through your husband. This is his mess to deal with. It also sounds like he needs to do a better job of grounding his son in reality, not to mention how to be a decent human being, no matter what your feelings toward others might be.
frankbeardsley said:
NTA. Even if you could trust him to take care of it, you can't trust the rest of the students to not damage it. Learning on a cheaper guitar is fine. Might even help him better appreciate the higher quality ones later if he sticks with it.
HeirOfRavenclaw said:
NTA. His mother's opinion on the matter is of no value, and should be treated as such.
Winter_and_Fall said:
NTA, and I would press your husband to talk to his ex and drive a point into her about co-parenting. He isn’t doing his job as a dad. He should explain to his son that by following his AH mother he is loosing an opportunity to have a supportive friend in you, and hurting him in the process. Seek family therapy, guys! You are his wife, nobody has a right to pressure you like that, especially ex! What a nightmare!
professorfunkenpunk said:
NTA- I’m impressed you found a 63 fender that cheap… but seriously, the kid doesn’t need a vintage guitar. I’m not sure I’d gig one myself, and teenagers are dumba$$es with stuff. I’m teaching my daughter bass right now and she’s playing one of mine, but if she ends up needing to take something out of the house, I’d probably just buy her a cheapie