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Stepmom and stepdaughter share contradicting POVs about stepmom's 'robbery'. Stepdaughter claims, 'You owe me $15K!' PART 2 OF 2 PART STORY

Stepmom and stepdaughter share contradicting POVs about stepmom's 'robbery'. Stepdaughter claims, 'You owe me $15K!' PART 2 OF 2 PART STORY


When this stepmom and stepdaughter continue to share contrasting viewpoints online, stepmom poses this question:

"My (66F) Husband (66M) wants to see his ex's jewelry. AITA?"

Take a look at Part 1.

I (66F) am married to the love of my life, S (66M). He was married before me, and has one daughter (36F) from his first wife. My stepdaughter has always hated me.

Back in 1997, my stepdaughter, Beena, was talking about her mother constantly, and spraying her perfume, and pulling down the jewelry box that had her mother's gold wedding jewelry in it.

She would pull it out and lay them all out, and I would just hear the bells tinkling or the bangles clacking as she'd pull them out and put them back. It was driving me mad.

My husband had given me permission to "clean up" the house and get rid of anything that I didn't want in the house. After about two months of her doing this daily, while she was sleeping, I took the case out of her room.

When Beena found it missing, she complained to my husband, and he confronted me. I told him about her constantly playing with it, and that I took it, because I was afraid she would accidentally damage it, as some of the anklets and the waist chain were very delicate and gold is soft. He let it go.

At first, I hid it in my closet, high up behind some extra blankets. It stayed there for a year or two, but eventually I got rid of it and replaced it with fakes. My stepdaughter and I had a fight recently, and now my husband wants to see his ex wife's jewelry.

I don't think he'll know enough about jewelry to know it's not the 22k the old pieces were, but I never bought them intending to deceive him. I bought them for B. I'm not sure what to do. I think my fight with B triggered this, because he has zero reason to want to see them when he hasn't asked since I took them.

Beena is no where near marrying. She's disabled and I don't think she ever will, so it's not to pass it on for B's wedding. I feel like this is a trap. Do I tell him what I did? Do I show him the fakes? They've been in my closet long enough that they're quite dusty.

TL;DR: I threw out my husband's ex's jewelry more than a decade ago, and now he wants to see it. I don't know what to do.

OP Victoria then added these updates:

Update 1:

Largely the reason I did it was a combination of anger and jealousy. B refused to listen to me about not playing with it, refusted to recognize who I was to my husband and to her, and constanly called me her "nanny" and "the help." When I said that I was her stepmother, she said her mother was dead. Rinse and repeatI gave them away to someone who could use them as they were intended and would love them.

I got rid of a lot of things which were B's, including old clothes, shoes, books, and tiys she had all outgrown. I was acting as a parent. No. I didn't feel it was right to sell it. I also didn't want whoever bought it to be cursed with the kind of first marriage my husband had, so I gave it away to a poor Indian woman who go engaged a few cities over from us.

I don't think it was safe for a nine year old to constantly be playing with gold jewelry that could easily be broken. More years of hatred, vitriol, and honestly believing she would never marry. When I made arrangements to give it away, I had snapped after all the namecalling and mistreatment by Beena. It was still wrong, but that's why.

Update 2 from Victoria:

I was raised Mennonite, until my mother left the church when I was ten. I wasn't raised to believe in jewelry much at all, let alone put significance to it. I'm not trying to rationalize it. I snapped and got rid of them in a fit of anger after constantly dealing with Beena's slights on me. I'm trying to figure out what to do now. I didn't throw it out, I gave it away. I didn't want money from anything of the woman's.

And now, Beena's separate post about the same dilemma:

Beena asks the internet:

"WIBTA if I asked a stranger for my mom’s jewelry back?"

My (36F) stepmother (66F) admitted to my dad (66M) that she gave away my mother’s bridal jewelry after she took it from me as a child. She gave me the name and number of the woman, we’ll call her Padma.

She also said that Padma used the jewelry in her wedding and it must be important to her. She said it would be cruel and selfish for me to demand to take it, and that it’s jewelry meant for a bride, and I’m still single, and I should be glad it brought someone else joy.

But that was my mother’s jewelry that she wore when she married my dad. She wore the choora for a year after the ceremony.

WIBTA if I called up Padma and asked her for my mom’s jewelry back? Should I just accept that it’s gone? Should I wait and see if I ever get a fiancé before calling her?

OP Beena's update:

EDIT 2: A lot has happened. I did contact Padma and we are meeting on Wednesday. Things at home are less good. Stepmom is in the hospital after dad served her with divorce papers he had prepared years ago.

She had a mental breakdown and attacked me, and then fled into their room while dad called the cops and tried to overdose. It wasn't successful and she's now being treated in hospital. I don't know for how long.

OP Beena's 2nd update:

She told me because Dad told her he wanted to see it after I accused her of stealing it. He said he wanted it cleaned and given back to me because I’m an adult now.

He said he never expected her to sink so low and took his CPAP into the living room. He’s brooding and I didn’t know what to say.

I’m going with she’s evil and obsessed with my dad. I think she wanted to destroy anything of my mom.

I always knew. Dad told me shortly after her death, and after that I kept the wedding jewelry in my room. Two years later my stepmom took it and told my father she “put it up” in her closet, so that I couldn’t break it. My Dad asked her to see it so he could have it cleaned and given back and she admitted she gave it away.

I did ask her for it before this, but she always told me that she’d give it back to me when I was engaged.

5. The way it happened was, she took it when I was like...nine and said it was because I was always getting it out...which I did. I liked to lay it out on a kurta and talk to it like it was actually my mum.

She said she was afraid of it being broken and "put it away for me when I was older". When it happened, I guess he thought that was reasonable because I would've been devastated if I broke any of it.

6. I'm guessing on the worth. I'm not really sure. It was the Matha Patti, saggi phul, Jhumar,, bali, choker and Rani haar, the haath phool for both hands, Kada, choodin, the full set of 21 choora bangles, the pajeb, and the angoothi. The only thing that wasn't in it was the kalire. I've never tried to price a full set.

7. My mother was Indian. My father is white. My stepmother is also white. She says it’s a shame I’m not paler, as I take after my mom.

8. As far as the attack, she started screaming and yelling about how he was supposed to grow to love her and forget about "that b&ch." And that if I was out of their lives, I wouldn't be a constant reminder of her.

That's when she basically attempted to claw my face. I'm okay. I have an ulcer inside my mouth from where I bit myself in surprise, but the scratches faded. She's going into psychiatric after she's out of the hospital proper, for how long I don't know. Dad is sure, and already contacted his lawyer to move ahead.

What do YOU make of this story? Have you come to a conclusion about who TA is? Any advice for Victoria or Beena?

Sources: Reddit
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