'AITA if I stop being friends with someone for being 5 hours late to Thanksgiving dinner?'
"AITA if I stop being friends with someone for bringing pies to Thanksgiving dinner and being 5 hours late?"
I 48 year old single mom with three kids at home invited a friend of mine and her four kids they're all teenagers to Thanksgiving dinner. During the conversation my friend 44-year-old female asked me if she could bring something.
I said that would be great if you would bring a kosher green bean casserole and she asked what I'll be making I said the standard Thanksgiving turkey a beef roast mashed potatoes gravy stuffing the normal sides pies that kind of thing and she says how are you going to make the lemon pie meringue pie and I just said the normal way and I made a comment that I don't put the zest in there cuz I hate it.
My kids hate it pretty much everybody who's coming doesn't like it so I just leave it out not a big deal and she says well I think I'll make my own lemon meringue pie cuz we like it in there. She then proceeds to go on telling me how she's going to quote make a backup turkey and bring a lemon meringue pie and pumpkin pie duplicates of what I was making already.
Then told me she has extra Kings Hawaiian rolls and she was going to bring those as well and then very quickly got off the phone so I couldn't argue with her about it. Well I sent her a text saying that while I appreciate her offer of extra food I really do need her just to bring the green bean casserole and nothing else.
I was very specific. I said no pies no breads no extra turkey and because she's bringing the green bean casserole could she please show up at noon about an hour before we were scheduled to eat so I can make sure everything is heated through and timed right I sent the text and for me the matter was settled.
Thanksgiving Day comes and it's 11:00 in the morning and I haven't heard from her yet but I figured she was busy well noon rolls in and I get a text stating that she's not going to be able to be there till 3:00 they're running behind this absolutely pisses me off because now I have to go out and get the stuff to make a green bean casserole.
So I go out to a grocery store takes me about an hour to get through the lines they were so long, I get back throw it together put in the oven and that made Thanksgiving dinner an hour late. Well dinner eventually get served everybody's happy dinner was lovely and it's about 4:30 and I get another text from her stating that they're not going to be there till about 6:00 rolling my eyes I just say okay.
Pies are served with coffee and drinks we're all just relaxing all afternoon about 5:30 rolls in we're all cleaning up putting food away pretty much normal stuff and we're all sitting down and relaxing afterwards. She finally shows up at 6:30 looks very confused that there's no food out and with her is the green bean casserole that had part of it missing and she brought two pies.
There was no hiding the resting bitch face I'm sure was on my face the rest of the company kept giving her the side eye and made several comments about her rude behavior. She left 20 minutes later but insisted I keep those Walmart pies. I put a lot of work into making and hosting this meal. I made everything from scratch the rolls stuffing even the pies and her showing up 5 hours late pissed me off.
The next day I sent her a text stating how undermined I felt and how disrespectful and rude it was of her to bring food I specifically asked her not to bring not give me notice she wasn't bringing the green bean casserole so I would have had time to make one without effecting my meal time and showing up 5 hours late.
Her response was a slew of excuses how she struggles with time management it's a weakness she's had her entire life. She told me in her family It's more about spending time together than the food and so the more food the merrier. She told me she was sorry if I felt she did something rude. Everything but an actual acknowledgment of her rude behavior let alone an apology.
For some context her being late has become a sore point with me after when she asked me to give her kids a ride to school when her car broke down I pulled up 5 minutes before I said I would texted her saying here she texted back saying be right out 26 minutes later they come out she does this two days in a row.
So after the second time I wait till we drop her kids off and tell if I will wait 5 minutes no more if your not out I'll leave. The next day I pull up text her she says she will be right out I wait for 5 and I take off 34 minutes later I get a text where are you we are out my response I waited the 5 minutes like I said I would I you didn't come out so I left.
I won't meet her for coffee or plan anything with her because she is ALWAYS LATE like at least 20 minutes. So AITA for cutting her off and not being friends anymore because of her bringing extra food and being late?
This is what people had to say to OP:
BlondeWalker999 said:
NTA. Late is 5 minutes or so. "5 hours is I don't give a crap about you". Bye-Bye. She is not your friend. This is some kind of weird control issue on her part.
Ok_Katy_3649 said:
Absolutely NTA. What were you supposed to do, leave the turkey in the oven until it was cremated? Not to mention the disrespect of a) not bringing the dish you requested, b) promising to bring unneeded food you did not ask for, then c) not even bringing that.
She would have done better to show up on time with nothing than be 5 hours late with the wrong food. Be done with this "friend." She has no respect for others.
CapableAd5545 said:
NTAH but you brought this aggravation on yourself. You should have known that she would do this. Do yourself a favor and just cut the relationship. Some people can handle the disrespect and disappointment continuously…you cannot. No need to tell her anything either. Just slowly back away and put her in your rear view mirror.
OP responded:
I actually took your advice and I have just not responded to anything she sent It's all excuses anyways no acknowledgment. She did however tell me she was sorry if I felt she was being rude 😂 So thank you for the advice and not criticizing me about my bad grammar.
ThePotatoProtection said:
I wouldn’t have given her a job to do if you knew she was not reliable and often late. I also would not have gone to the store for just a green bean casserole. Usually plenty of other food. But she’s nuts for showing up with a partly eaten casserole hours late wondering where the food is. lol