'Stranger' crashes pre-wedding bridal suite, plays on phone, drinks champagne; AITA?
The process of getting ready before the wedding is often a fun and intimate bonding activity for brides, the bridal party and family members...
What happens though when a plus-one that nobody knows makes herself at home in the tiny room full of makeup, hair tools, and pre-wedding nerves? So, when a frustrated newlywed decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet about a woman who crashed her bridal suite, people were dying for the details.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for being annoyed at a stranger in my bridal suite?
My husband and I got married last year at an all-inclusive venue, with about 50 guests. Planning the entire event was fairly stress-free. It was quite harmonious for both of us, and we never had any arguments.
The wedding itself was fairly stress-free. A couple weeks ago my husband commented on how perfect our wedding was, with nothing going wrong. I responded with, 'Eh, there was one thing that I was really annoyed with.' And so here we begin.
The day of the actual wedding, the best man arrives with his date, who I'll call Christine. There's not much for her to do, but no big deal - there is a little lobby area that was open to people who came early.
Instead of sitting in the lobby and waiting like a guest, my now-husband says 'all the women are in the bridal suite,' and Christine comes in, says hi, and plops down on the loveseat in the tiny bridal suite.
Christine proceeds to sit there and stare at us, occasionally using her cell. There was no 'Hey I know I don't know you guys, but is there anything I can do to help,' or 'Hey I don't know you guys, but could I join you?'
Literally she sits there and stares at me getting my hair done. SO.AWKWARD. So I sit there and I gently say, 'I know you're probably bored, don't feel obligated to stay in here.' She responds with, 'Oh I'm okay, thanks.' ARGH. Okay.
So instead of being a jerk and tell her to please leave an intimate space for my bridal party and family, I offer her champagne and ask my MOH to open the bottle and pour her a glass. Sigh.
So my hair gets done, and I start doing my makeup (yes, we did our own makeup). Now thanks to Christine, I have an entryway-like table that's about 2-feet long by 0.5 inch wide.
My makeup bag keeps falling off the ledge, and I have no where to spread out on, because, oh look, Christine is sitting on the only available space that I could possibly use.
Eventually Christine leaves because the photographer comes, and starts to take pictures of the getting-ready process, and the entire space was just way to crowded. Guys, it was such a small space. Like, no joke.
When my husband mentioned how perfect the wedding, I brought this up and he thinks it wasn't a big deal. But it was my wedding day and I wanted my bridal suite to be small and intimate with my family. Instead I had a stranger crash my suite, with no social engagement with us.
I told him that Christine was inconsiderate and a little rude to crash a bridal suite/party and simply sit there and play on her phone. So AITA for being annoyed on my wedding day that this stranger crashed by bridal suite?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
[deleted] said:
YTA sorry. You (or anyone in your bridal party) could have gently asked Christine to go somewhere else sorry because there just wasn't room. None of you did. Christine was in there because she was told to be in there.
Maybe she didn't say anything or volunteer to help because she found the situation awkward as well? But most of all YTA for this happening last year and you still are whinging about it. No one's wedding goes perfectly.
Concentrate on all the wonderful things that happened on the day and move on from the little niggles like this one.
amanduh85 said:
YTA just a little bit. I understand being annoyed but you could have said 'Hey Christine, there isn't much room in here and I'm in need of space.
Do you think you could hang out in the lobby until the ceremony gets started?' You're adult enough to get married, which means you're adult enough to speak up for yourself.
imalwaysscrolling said:
NTA. But oh my gosh, does nobody in your bridal party have a backbone? Hey, Christine, this space is just for the bridal party to get ready in and it’s kind of a tight squeeze.
The guests are gathering in the lobby area so could you go and wait out there please? Thanks!” Instead of spending your time getting ready with your bridesmaids silently seething and fuming.
this_is_an_alaia said:
YTA you're angry at a woman for going to a room she was told to go to and not leaving when nobody asked her to. If you were so annoyed by it you should have just told her to go downstairs.
cautiousoptimzm said:
YTA. Several mistake happened. First, your husband invited her into your private space (guys have no idea what a she-den sacred moment that is) because he was being kind to his BM’s date.
Seems like an innocent mistake. You could have handled it politely but you didn’t - instead you gave up your pre-wedding bonding ritual to irritation and you’ll never get those moments back.
I’m betting that if you could have a do-over, you would have said something kind as well, like, “So nice to meet you, thanks for coming. Would you mind waiting in the lobby so we can spread out in this tiny room a bit? Thanks so much.”
Oohrreally said:
YTA. She was invited to a wedding where she knew nobody and your husband was just trying to make her feel welcome. When I don't have anyone to talk to I play on my phone as well. And she probably didn't want to interrupt you because you know you were getting ready to get married and all.
craig_prime said:
YTA only because you didn't politely kick her out or have your MOH do it.
Iridium_Pumpkin said:
YTA. You never told her to leave. A hundred polite ways of kicking someone out. And your husband is right; even when hearing your version of it it doesn't sound like a big deal.