'AITA for talking in a very strong Scottish accent to keep my MIL from understanding me?'

"AITA for talking in a very strong Scottish accent to prevent my MIL from understanding me?"

I (27M) have been married to my wife, Amy (29) for seven years. Things have been going downhill for years though, we are literally only together for the sake of our son, Jamie (5). Amy has made it clear that she will go to the courts and try to prevent me from seeing Jamie if I leave her and I don't want to put the wee man through all of that hassle.

Most of the issues that led to the downfall of our relationship can be traced back to Amy's mum, Susan. Susan is, quite frankly, a nosey cow. She can't handle not knowing what's going on at all times. If any of yous have seen the show Still Game, she is basically Isa.

However, Susan is much more vindictive. Some of the things she's done is revealing that Amy was pregnant on Facebook before either of us could say anything, she told everyone about my aunt being ill despite my aunts wishes for it to be a secret until she was ready and she constantly accuses me of cheating (one time it was because she saw me in the town with my cousin).

Recently, I was on the phone with a good friend of mine and we got onto the subject of therapy. Some separate family issues have been going on and it's bringing up some past trauma. Of course, Susan listened in to this and decided to tell Amy that I wanted us to go to couples therapy.

She even added on some extra details that I wanted to just run away and leave Amy and Jamie and that I wished I was single and didn't have any kids. This was, of course, total bullsh!t. I love Jamie to the moon and back and I do still love Amy, I just don't think either of us are in love anymore.

I was raised around the Glasgow area in Scotland so I have quite an accent. We moved to a different area when I was 8 so I did get better at changing my accent to make it a bit more understandable to other people. So I decided to go back to my full on Glaswegian accent (which Susan really struggles to understand) to prevent her from listening in to any of my conversations.

Naturally, Susan doesn't like this and has been accusing me of trying to alienate her. Amy has tried to get me to stop literally just so her mum will stop complaining. She's also been complaining that Jamie is picking up on the accent and he's going to sound uneducated if he talks like that at school.

I think I might be the A$$hole for keeping this going as things are already tense enough at our house but, at the same time, I don't want Susan listening into my conversations and trying to stir up drama. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

doodleboopen said:

NTA. your wife is an enabler to your nosey MIL. get a recording of her saying she’ll prevent you from seeing your son and use it in court as evidence if you ever decide to divorce her. parents who stay together solely for the child makes insecure children from my experience🤷‍♀️

DepartmentOutrageous said:

NTA for the accent, but Y T A for staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of your child. I guarantee your son will pick up on it (if he hasn’t already) and that will cause a whole other host of issues.

OP responded:

Completely get what you mean. I just didn't want him to deal with the stress of courts and stuff. Sometimes I get the feeling that Amy is completely capable of just taking Jamie and leaving and it terrifies me.

5pinktoes said:

Lol. NTA. First, it's not your mother in law who is the problem, it's your wife. She allowed/allows her mom to meddle in your marriage. Your wife is the problem. Good luck with that.

Your wife can't keep you from your child of you leave. Divorce court and family court will give orders and instructions. (No offense? I would totally head for the door if my SO tried to strong arm me by threatening to keep me from seeing my chikd(ren). Deal breaker.

"we are literally only together for the sake of our son , Jamie (5)." Yeah~~~ don't do that. Children are better off with divorced parents rather than parents in a crap marriage. Good luck, OP!

OP responded:

Aye, I suppose you're right. I just don't want the wee man having to go through that stress if she does try to keep him from me, even if it is just for a short time. Thanks though, definitely got me thinking. I want Jamie to be happy, and if that's with split parents then so be it.

dr-sparkle said:

NTA. Hell learn German so effing Susan can't understand.

AbjectPoetry9 said:

NTA. Try and get it either recorded or in writing that your wife will keep the child away from you if you leave, this way if you do leave and she makes up lies you have this to fall back on. If you do want therapy I would also get this in writing so her responses are recorded, text her while you're at work or at the supermarket.

How come your MIL is around so often? Does she live with you? If so good luck sounds stressful! I would NOT stay with your wife just for your child, your child needs to see both of hes parents happy.

OP responded:

Thanks. I saw someone else suggest this as well and I'm definitely going to try to get a recording just in case. She used to visit almost daily but about four months ago her landlord kicked her out. Though I genuinely just think this was the landlord being an AH and nothing to with Susan. She's been staying with us since.

IbeatSARS2x said:

YTA. Ok, admittedly, I find what you did pretty clever although passive aggressive and petty. This is not setting a good example for your son. Your child is getting to be at an age when they will pick up on what you are doing.

You need to see a therapist or a trusted friend to help you and your child safely navigate how to get out of this marriage. What you are experiencing is not healthy for anyone involved and will have lasting trauma if you do not act soon.

And OP responded:

Cheers for the honest judgement. I was actually looking into therapy but maybe it would do Jamie some good to talk to someone as well. I just want things to go as smoothly as possible here.

He later shared this small update with some more info.:

Thank you for all the support everyone. I feel like I should clear things up here because I've seen a couple of similar questions. I'm trying to get Jamie to bed so I won't be able to answer comments for a little bit.

Aye, Susan is living with us. A few months back, her landlord had decided to be an AH and kick her out for no reason. We took her in and have been trying to get her back in her feet but she's happy here and has no intention of moving out. Hopefully we can change that.

Amy and I have been unhappy for a while and I have been considering divorce for a while, the only thing that prevented me from doing going through with it was the worry that Amy would just take Jamie and leave. It has happened to someone I know and it took him years to get back in contact with his wee girl.

Jamie is my world, I can't risk losing him. I do hear yous though, staying together for Jamie's sake is not doing him any good. Something needs to be done. Again, cheers for the advice and support everyone.