'AITA for 'flaunting' my happy life when my sister and her kids are struggling?'
"AITA for 'flaunting' my happy life when my sister and her kids are struggling?"
I think my sister needs to get over herself and realize she put herself where she is now. She thinks that I’m insensitive and I should care more about family, so here we go I guess.
My sister and I grew up in a two bedroom trailer, our parents had five kids. It was as trashy as it gets. Our family was poor as dirt, our mom was a waitress and dad worked construction. I told myself I wasn’t going to live like that as an adult, that I would make better choices than my parents did.
I worked hard in high school, and got a full ride to an affordable school. I later went back to school twice to end up becoming a CRNA. I’ve been one for three years, and I married my husband last year. We own a nice house, and we live a good life. We’re child-free, but we’ve adopted some elderly cats so they could have a good last few years.
My sister did pretty much exactly what our parents did. She got pregnant at 16, kept it despite the fact that abortion was an option. She’s had five more kids since then, though the triplets weren’t really her fault. For some reason there’s a lot of multiple baby pregnancies in our family history.
My sister doesn’t work because they can’t afford daycare, and her boyfriend, who is the father of just the triplets, works as a bartender at chilis. They live in a smaller apartment, and they want to move but have bad credit.
She keeps dropping hints to me that she wants me to give her money. Saying things like “praying for a miracle that I somehow get the money to move my kids into a better neighborhood.”
Recently my husband and I got to take a trip new years week. It’s been frigid and going to Ibiza for a week was really refreshing. I posted pictures on my social media so my friends could see, and my nosy coworkers as well of course.
My sister commented that I shouldn’t flaunt my life when there are people in my own family struggling to get by. I texted her and told her not to post petty comments on my social media where my coworkers can see, and that if she has something to say she needs to just say it. She asked me for money and I said no, and she’s all mad at me.
I don’t understand her thought process. I worked really hard for everything I have. She’s made bad choices that left her where she is. AITAH for posting my life where my sister can see?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
SummerOracle said:
NTA. You are not her personal ATM, and her lashing out at you because you won’t allow yourself to be used by her is out of line. She’s responsible for her life choices. She is responsible for improving her situation. Anyone who would bankroll her life would just be preventing her from learning how.
I think providing sympathy and emotional support would go a long way. As well as helping her finding appropriate resources and opportunities, if you had a mind to. However you are not under any obligation.
JuliaX1984 said:
NTA Nobody forced her to look at your pictures. If you give her money, she will have more kids. She's probably going to anyway, but either way, it will be a waste.
smolsanastan418 said:
It's like you said OP, you worked for everything you have, while she doesn't have a job at all. She got knocked up at 16 and had 5 more kids afterwards. And she has the nerve to complain that she can't afford anything? Real classy. She did everything to herself and is now blaming everybody else. NTA.
3Heathens_Mom said:
NTA. There is a saying that a boat is a hole in the water that you pour money into until the day you sell it. Your sister would be like a boat in that if you did give her money once it won’t be enough until so you would have gave to continue you have no money left to give because unless she figures out how to get on her own two feet and support herself and family nothing will change.
HoshiJones said:
Even accounting for the triplets, that's 4 times she purposely made the decision to have a kid she can't afford. That's deranged. And you are in no way obligated to subsidize her deranged life choices. NTA.
Calm_Initial said:
NTA. But she’ll never see that her choices led her to her current life. And she’ll always think you were handed everything. I have a brother who is the same way. He’ll never believe he’s anything but a victim of life