Subway passenger refuses to remove his bag for a woman, 'I sat anyway.' AITA? 'For you, I'd rather not.'
"Guy on the NYC subway refused to move his satchel from the seat next to him so I can sit. AITA for sitting, anyway?"
I boarded the train after work during peak hour. I notice there was only one potential seat left in the train car. This well kept guy had a double seat to himself, wearing good slacks, designer leather shoes, and a trench coat.
He was sitting in the middle and had placed his satchel on to the left of him. There was space next to his right, but not enough for me to sit comfortably. I tried to get his attention so I can ask him to move over.
He had his ear buds on and looked straight ahead as I waved. I knew he could see me so I leaned a bit over to be more in his field of view. He took his sweet time to look up at me. I politely asked for him to move a bit over so I can sit. HE LOOKED AT ME UP AND DOWN, DOWN AND UP, ACTIVELY CHECKING ME OUT, BEFORE SAYING: "For you, I'd rather not."
I am a diagnostic medical sonographer, having just got off a 10 hr shift at my hospital. I had a long day, which included finding advanced cancer in an 8 year old. I wanted to sit.
And I said: "Excuse me? Seats aren't for your bag or for you to hog to yourself." He again checks me out in disgust before saying: "I'm not arguing about a seat, especially with you looking like that."
How was I looking? Tired, with my hair up in a messy bun. I'm somewhat average built, thick legs, tall. In case you were wondering. So I said:" I worked a long day, just like you, and there's no way you're implying that your bag is going to occupy a seat before a paying passenger."
The vibe he was giving was very much a: "you're not worthy to be in my presence, let alone sit next to me, peasant" vibe. I was taken aback, to be frank. He said: "like I already told you, I'm not arguing over a seat" and then proceeded to stare ahead into the abyss again. In the attempt to ignore me.
The B switch was flipped at that point. That empty space to his right? I decided to wedge myself in. I was sitting one way or another. And as I go to do to so, HE SLIDES OVER SO I END UP BRUSHING HIS LAP, AND TRIED TO PUSH ME FROM BEHIND SO I'D FALL FACE FIRST. He was on that type of petty time. And I had the time too.
He was short, definitely not as strong as me. So I stood my ground and wouldn't let him shove me face first. He's actively pushing me forward and I'm forcing myself to stay in place. In the scuffle, his man purse fell and the seat to his left was now completely available. So, I sat. Like musical chairs.
And boy, did he not like that I won a seat. He grabbed his purse from the floor and decided to stand in front of me. I assume to try and assert his frail ego, I mean, "dominance," over me.
After a shouting match in which he quickly realized that I wasnt going to back down from, he then continued to go on a whole rant to himself about "people gotta respect when they're not given a seat" and "a b like me is probably ran through and no man wants people like that" oh, and the "women like me should be walking home, not taking a train"
Sorry I consume food and not other substances, sir??? I looked him dead in his eye and laughed at him the entire time. He also did not like that, but I definitely wasn't going to have him think I wouldn't bust his a$% if it came down to it. I grew up with boys, and I definitely could've taken on his oompa loompa self.
He ranted on and off throughout the entire 35 min train ride. Before he got off he said: "Don't get passed around too much this holiday." And I laughed and said: "you must have me confused for your momma sir, have a nice Thanksgiving." Am I the ahole for making my way into a seat I essentially paid for?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
KingsCountyWriter said:
As a lifelong NYC subway rider, this took too long. Refused to acknowledge you when asking for a seat? Don’t ask again; just sit, especially after a long day. He had it coming refusing to acknowledge you early on. I would have read into his outfit, sized up his knuckles, do less work than you and be ready for throw hands. Enjoy the holiday!
Broad_Respond_2205 said:
He was right about one thing - you shouldn't argue about a chair! He got what he totally deserves. NTA.
BLUNTandtruthful58 said:
NTA it would have been more justified also though if you sat on a satchel hopefully nothing breakable was in it, but still would have been justified to do so.
baconcheesecakesauce said:
Fellow NYC straphanger, NTA all day. He knows better than that. That guy is lucky that you weren't a crazy person. To be honest, I usually don't get into it with random people on the MTA because you never know if someone is unwell.
ophaus said:
He deserved an emergency trip to the dentist for Thanksgiving. Your restraint is supernatural.
NaturesVividPictures said:
NTA. I'm surprised people who witnessed it didn't give you a standing ovation. This guy was a super ahole.