'AITA for suing my parents to get my college money back?' UPDATE 1 YEAR LATER
"AITA for suing my parents to get my college money back?"
My great-aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives. In our culture education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bul%$#@t.
She lived with her father in London where she was educated. She went on to attend university and became a doctor She married a British man, they moved to America and had a great life. She funded the education of as many of her nieces and grand nieces as she could.
When she passed away she left money for every girl relative she could. My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother's wedding. My sister didn't care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention of going to college.
When I graduated I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone. There was like $13,000 left.
I asked my parents about it and they said they had needed the money. I finally found out where the money went. I got furious. I got student loans and moved out. I am a great source of shame to them and I don't give two f^%$s.
I am currently suing them for the money that was left for me. My entire family is against me. They all think I am a complete a%$#ole for airing private family business in public. And that I am putting money ahead of family. My friends are all on my side but they are all Americans and don't really get my culture. Neither do I to be honest.
My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I drop the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract. He said I was being an a&^%ole for not trusting him. I said he should not have accepted my money for his wedding. It is causing all kinds of embarrassment in our community.
I am somewhat ashamed to be doing this but I don't want to have this debt I should not have.
Here's what people had to say to the OP:
NTA how much was stolen?
Enough that both my sister and I could have finished our undergraduate degrees without debt.
NTA. Your parents didn't borrow your money. They stole it. I hope you have all the documents to show that money was yours. Your brother is also the AH for trying to get you to drop a lawsuit with what is most likely a lie. If you have a chance to start life without student debt you do whatever you can to do that. Your parents , and I'm sorry but their culture, sound completely toxic. I'm glad you got out.
The student law center at my university is helping me with everything. I have proof that the money was mine. I am trying to do everything I can so this does not become a criminal matter.
NTA Your parents and your brother had the opportunity to keep this a private matter when you told them you would sue them if they didn't return the money or pay for your schooling. Since you have already been betrayed by family members you trusted, your brother should not be offended that you want a written contract.
The OP posted this update 1 year later:
It's over. I got my money. I have also pretty much been disowned by my family, but I consider that a win as well.
My parents ended up having to mortgage some property to pay me back for what they stole. My family is embarrassed that I forced them to this point after they had offered to pay me back in installments. Nobody is willing to answer me when I ask what would make my parents pay me back if I was stupid enough to trust them.
I have been told that I will never find a husband from our culture with my belligerent attitude and strident independence. I laughed. I do not want anything to do with that culture except perhaps enjoy the food. I plan on never returning to that country.
I am enjoying the independence I have achieved and am more than happy to know that several other of the young women in my family have taken steps to lock down the education funds left for them.
Here's what people had to say to the OP after the update:
It always cracks me up when someone does something terrible, and then gets mad when they get caught, because of "how it looks to other people", as though it's perfectly fine to be lower than garbage, as long as no one finds out.
Read your original post and this update; If it means anything at all, this internet stranger is proud of you. And your great aunt rocks.
hell yea !! i think your great aunt would be absolutely proud how you fought back , i’m so glad you got your money ! your great aunt is freakin amazing for ensuring future women in your family would get an education , what a cool gal