I (29f) have a friend called “Maya”. Maya and I have been friends for nine years, after meeting at university. Maya went through a lot of mental health issues in her early-mid 20s which impacted her career prospects, but a couple of years ago she found an outlet in writing, and now writes and publishes her stories online.
They are of the “spicy romance” variety. I’ve never read any of them because they’re just not my thing but I know she has a lot of regular readers.
Recently, Maya shared that she had been contacted by a small publishing company which publishes ebooks who were interested in publishing one of the stories she had been sharing online. I was ecstatic for her, as it is a move towards making writing a profession, which is what she really wants.
About three weeks ago, a mutual friend of ours “Amy”, contacted me and asked if I had read any of Maya’s current story as she had looked it up online and she thought it had some eerie similarities to my life.
I looked it up and read a big chunk of it, and it was more than just similarities, it was basically a melodramatic reimagining of my life, specifically about my relationship with my fiancé, and my complicated relationship with my father. Idk how relevant this is but she also altered their characters and certain situations to make the “plot” pretty toxic.
I was devastated and disgusted to say the least. I met up with Maya and asked how she could do this to me. Her explanation was that she was so inspired by my life and the things I’d told her that the ideas just came to her. I kept saying they weren’t her ideas, they were sensationalised details of my real life, she didn’t have a single original thought in the whole story.
Maya apologised profusely for hurting me and that she was embarrassed by how much she had taken from life but she really loved writing the book. I told her I wasn’t comfortable having my private life aired like that. Maya said nothing in the book was identifiable as me so it wasn’t like she’d done anything illegal, and I said, well we’ll see about that.
I’ve contacted lawyers and they’ve said suing her would be largely pointless in terms of stopping the book being published, but starting legal proceedings might scare a small publishing company enough to drop her as an author. I am seriously considering doing this.
Worst case, I can’t do anything to stop the book going ahead but I’ve caused her an iota of the stress and hurt she’s caused me. Best case, this creepy project never sees the light of day.
A couple of my friends are saying I shouldn’t sue her, because at the end of the day this is her work and an opportunity for her to make a career for herself and take her of her child, after all she’s been through. I know this could ruin things for her and I might be acting out of anger but I really think it’s justified after she betrayed my trust like this. WIBTA to go ahead with suing?
okIhaveANopinionHERE said:
YWBTA, but not for the reason you think. You seem so revenge-focused that you are not thinking about additional long-term damage that you may recklessly cause to yourself.
The lawyers are correct that you don't really have a case, but the threat of legal action could dissuade a small publisher from going forward. This is, however, a double-edged sword since the author and publisher can use legal action as free publicity. Also, keep in mind that filing a lawsuit is a matter of public record.
A lawsuit can forever attach this book to you since Googling you will probably result in finding out that there is a trashy novel that you say is based on your life story. In all likelihood, this book won't be a hit and will pretty much just die on the vine and the most it will become will be a great conversation piece when you're older and talking about the strangest things that ever happened in your life.
LadyCass79 said:
YTA. I wouldn't sue over this. Unless she used your name, the fact that she used your life as inspiration for fictionalized stories is fine, and you've been told you don't have a case. I understand why you don't like it. What you are considering is called a bad faith claim, where you sue in an attempt to harass, punish, or hurt someone. Just let it go.
No-Personality5421 said:
You're not an ah for being mad, but don't waste your time and, more importantly, your money, on a lawsuit. You can tell her that if she publishes the book, then she loses her friend. Also make it clear you will tell any shared friends that she will steal their lives to write her stories, and profit off them without ever giving them a dime.
The lawyers are half right, suing her would be pointless, I think they know a pointless lawsuit won't stop a publisher though, the lawyers just want a paycheck.
skleedle said:
Streisand Effect gonna getcha. YWBTA
And Aluanne said:
NTA. I really don't get the bumhole votes here. It's not her story to tell. Your other friend clear saw that the book was about you, so it's not like Maya has hidn't it that well. Chances are that others will too.
What a major AH to expose a friend. Expose their lifestory, vulnerabilities and secrets. She knew what she was doing by not telling you in the first place. I don't know if it's the best idea to sue her, it will just attach the book more to your name and can be used as a PR.
For everyone talking about the Streisand effect - I am not in the US. Court/legal records here are not something you can Google or access easily. That being said, I realise Maya could publicise a lawsuit herself to get publicity, and that ultimately I am more concerned about anonymity and it’s not worth the risk.
I will not be proceeding with the lawsuit. Some people suggested reaching out to the publisher privately, and I’m going to look into that. But either way I won’t drag it out into a court process.