'AITA for suing my stepsister after she stole my wedding dress?'
"AITA for suing my stepsister after she stole my wedding dress?"
This is some sort of update to a previous post I made almost a year ago, but some things have definitely happened. Per my last post, my (F24) stepsister (F27) got married last December, she asked for my wedding dress after not wanting to even look for one herself.
I said no, I stood my ground and I didn’t go to her wedding. Fast forward to last month, she and her husband have separated. She says they are only “taking a break”.
I begun to rebuild my relationship with her, I took time and effort to find a way to talk to her and even go out in double dates with his husband and mine’s. That went really well, up until the break she took with her hubby. She stopped talking to me altogether, ghosted me when I wanted to plan stuff and I figured she only needed some time.
Up until she calls me again, in the middle of August. She wants to come over to my house and talk. I genuinely felt happy to have her come over, since my stepdad kept pressuring to finally make peace.
She comes over, we have coffee and she asks to see my closet since she was going out on a date and had nothing to wear. I thought this was full circle moment for both us, so I said yes. We looked through my clothes and I picked something that went well with her. She said thanks and put the outfit in a bag she brought with her, and left.
Some days pass, and as I was cleaning my own closet I find that the spot where my wedding dress was hanging from, was empty. It was in a garment bag and it was there since I don’t want it to wrinkle so bad since the fabric was a little fragile.
I freaked out, searched for it everywhere. I realized the last time I saw it was before my stepsister came. I called her and asked sincerely in case I was wrong, she got extremely defensive and hung up the phone. I called my stepdad, he was angry at me for thinking she could do that.
Later, my stepdad calls again. He got my stepsister to tell the truth. She stole it while I was looking for an outfit for her. He tells me to calm down and to resolve this like adults, but I called her again and simply said to prepare her lawyers.
This created massive drama within my family, and I was too livid to acknowledge it until my mom called me. Now, I’m thinking I may be crossing a line, but that dress means too much for me. I saved every penny I got and it truly was the dress of my dreams. I’m scared to find out if she did anything to it. AITA for suing my stepsister?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA.
She’s a thief and she will be treated like one.
Agree. OP should TEXT her immediately, stating: "You need to return the stolen wedding dress immediately from my home undamaged within today/24 hours to avoid police action and legal action for any damages.
This dress was $ and would be a felony in our state. You not returning this stolen property will result in a police report and legal action for damages. You also need to return the other dress that I let you borrow. I will not ask you again." I say TEXT her not give her a second chance, but a Text will likely get her to respond, her response is evidence for your police report.
Consider using the cc option to include step dad. If he responds to her without changing the 'respond to all' option, you will have his response to her, could be more evidence. He might help her return your property, which is good/better for you. NTA.
NTA. I honestly can't believe that an adult would steal a freaking dress and NOT expect to get sued like a thief.
NTA, call the police and file a report for the full value of the dress and tell them both she and your stepfather acknowledged she stole it from your closet. Her marriage is ending but she still thought to steal your dress. This chick is cracked.
NTA. She might be doing this to pawn it, sell it, destroy it, ect.. The wedding has passed, so there isn't any clear reason she took it to return it later. Hopefully, she took it to have it, and it is safe in her closet or trunk.
She committed a crime, and lawyers should be involved. First, you should work on a police response. With an expensive wedding dress, depending on the dollar amount, she could be committing a felony. If she doesn't return it, you could press charges, and if convicted, she could go to jail for years. Fines of thousands of dollars.
This should all be the incentive she needs to return it, and if she doesn't, she deserves the consequences. Police may say you should work it out yourselves, but if you insist on pressing charges they should charge with a felony.
She manipulated you. She took advantage of your kindness to hurt you. Not all family members are worth forgiving, and this is absolutely something to take a stand on. You explained several times and ways what this meant to you.
You welcomed her back into your life. You have tried being the bigger person on several occasions, trying to talk it out, and to let her borrow clothes. She takes advantage of "family forgives" and will only do more if you don't follow through. Get the lawyer ready.
NTA. Your stepfather should have made the effort to not raise a thief. He would be better off getting your dress and returning it to you if he doesn't want his lil princess to find herself with jail time.
Those dresses aren't cheap and depending where you are may be more than a misdemeanor she catches. Of course, she's probably already destroyed it, doing the if I can't have it no one can hullabaloo.
Sad-Pomegranate3183 (OP)
Thank you everyone for the kind comments. I’ll try talking tomorrow with her again. If things go wrong I’ll go to the police. I’ll update as soon as I can.