'AITA for suspecting a woman is interested in my husband and not wanting her in my home?'

"AITA for thinking this woman is interested in my husband and not wanting her in my home anymore?"

Let me preface this by saying: I know I might be ANTAH here. But my “spider senses” are tingling, and I need to know if I’m actually justified or just overreacting.

I (F30) am married to my husband (M34). A few weekends ago, we met a woman (29F — let’s call her DD) at my husband’s friend’s (HF) gathering. DD spotted my husband, made a beeline over to him, and started chatting. From what I could tell.. it was not more than a minute or two. & according to my husband, she spent most of it talking about our son — specifically how he “looks just like her son.”

While she was talking, my husband started inching closer toward where I was sitting. Once he got close enough, I could hear her saying again how our son looks like hers, how cute he is, and how much he resembles my husband(which he does).

She eventually noticed me looking in their direction, stopped talking to my husband, comes over, and said, “Oh, you must be his wife.” We exchanged pleasantries and she disappeared for the rest of the night.

Fast-forward to the next weekend. DD came over to our home with my HF and his lady (HFL) to pick up a dresser we were gifting them. HF and HFL both said hello to me first and then spoke to my husband. DD, however, walked straight in and greeted my husband first, complimenting our house and telling him he “looked nice today” (the man was in basketball shorts and a tee…).

She asked to use the restroom, HFL showed her where it was. When she came out, my husband and I were sitting on the couch. She looked right at him, then at me, & says, “Oh, I didn’t even see you there.” Before I could say anything, everyone questioned how she didn’t see me, but she gave some BS explanation. Once again, we exchanged basic pleasantries.

HF invited my husband to a college football game. DD immediately chimed in with, “Yeah, you should come.” My husband asked HF if there were enough tickets for me and our son too, and HF said yes. So we all planned to go. Before leaving, DD randomly complimented my husband’s eyes.

At the game, while waiting for everyone to arrive, I told my husband I felt like DD was into him. He told me I was being crazy.

Everyone shows up, the guys are talking, DD joins their conversation, while I’m talking with HFL & the kids run around. I told the kids they needed to stay in a certain area because we were in a parking lot. DD jumps in with, “No one is going to hit them — don’t you know who I am?”

I told her point-blank: “No, I don’t.” She laughed and tried explaining that she meant the kids know who she is, but I told her I don’t care — it’s a parking lot, they’re kids, and they need to stay in the area I told them. Period. I walk away & start talking to HFL.

A few minutes later, my son runs over to play with my husband. DD starts calling him “nephew,” telling him to come to her. He ignores her and goes back to playing. She calls again: “Nephew, come here to Auntie DD.” Here's were I might unapologetically be TAH.. but she poked momma bear..

I stepped in and asked what she wanted. She said she just wanted to give him a hug. I told her not to be weird, and she needed to stop calling my son nephew — as he’s not going to be calling her Auntie. (My kid doesn’t assign family labels to strangers.) She said she understood and stopped.

We go inside the game. My husband, HF, the kids, and I sit down first. HFL sits one row behind us. DD sits directly behind my husband — despite there being plenty of open seats. The next day, I asked my husband what he thought about DD sitting directly behind him. He admitted he found it weird too, especially since she kept bumping into him.

I’ve told my husband I don’t want her back in our home, and he’s fine with that. But because she hangs around HF and HFL, she’s still going to be around in general. Here’s where I’m stuck: On paper, everything I’ve described could technically be “written off” as nothing… but I genuinely feel like my instincts aren’t wrong.

So, AITA for not wanting her in my home, and would I be TAH if I pulled her aside and talked to her about what I've noticed?

This is what people had to say to OP:

jrm1102 said:

NTA - she seems weird. But also you dont even need all this justification, ya’ll barely know her and you simply dont like her. No reason to have her over.

Mbt_Omega said:

NTA for not wanting the woman trying to sleep with your husband and connect with your son in your home, obviously. I don’t see how this is a question…

Sweaty-Delivery-5300 said:

NTA. Oh hell no. Your husband needs to get on your page if he's this clueless and you need to make sure he understands. Saying he looks nice and has nice eyes is where your husband shouldve smartened tf up.

He needs to say something to her like, "I love and respect my wife and your comments are making me uncomfortable" or even just "youre making me uncomfortable" next time she does something or even just deflecting like "yea my eyes are ok, my wife's are gorgeous though.

Part of the reason I fell in love with her" etc. This needs to come from him because she seems undeterred by you and this will only get worse.

OP responded:

Thank you — you’re right — she’s not deterred by me. She’s definitely testing boundaries. I'm not sure if I 100% agree that the next move has to come from him. I don’t want there to be another opportunity..

Grouchy-Storm-6758 said:

I would tell HF & HFL, that you enjoy hanging out with them, but DD is giving off weird vibes and if she is included in future plans, unfortunately you and DH will be bowing out. And if they have your husband’s phone number, ask that they don’t share it with anyone. Good luck If she continues to be stalker-like consider cameras, inside and outside.

OP responded:

Thanks for the advice. They aren't the type to share our contact with anyone before asking. After a conversation, I don't think she be a problem...

And ReaderGirl-K-la said:

NTA she’s definitely attracted to him…say something to her