Swiftie disinvites 'friend' from party after she gave her concert ticket away, 'I know you understand.' AITA?

"AITA for disinviting a 'friend' from an event after she gave my ticket to her sister?"

Back when Eras tour tickets were released, my friend Sadie said she would grab us tickets and I’d pay her back. We made concrete plans and I was excited. I’ve been a Swiftie for years but haven't seen her live. I had to sell my Rep stadium tour tickets back in the 2010s because my mom was dying and I needed the money to help pay medical bills. I booked the hotel.

This past weekend I was having a little get together for a bunch of friends and Sadie was of course invited. At some point she pulled me aside and told me that she had news, she is leaving in September.

I was heartbroken! We’ve been friends for years and I love spending time with her. I got weepy and hugged her a bunch and said that we needed to get all our thrifting trips in over the summer and hang out as much as we could.

Then she broke the news that as a way to bond with her sister before she left, she was going to be taking her to the Eras tour instead. I didn’t know how to react. She stood in front of me and Venmo’d my payment back.

She was like “I know you understand.” I said that this was a sneaky move and honestly really shRtty of her, and I don’t understand how or why she would do that to me. She got defensive and said that they were under her name and that she didn’t “owe me” anything.

I was like yes, they are your tickets. Legally, you can do whatever you want. But this is still a really sh$tty and sneaky thing to do to your friend, knowing that there is no way I will be able to get my own tickets at this point. She just kind of shrugged and said “Sorry, but I figured you’d understand.”

I asked her to leave, and told her to please not come back for the 4th of July party next week. I said I needed to process this and that I’m really disappointed with her and how she’s treated me. This is a girl who I consoled through breakups, job losses, pet losses, etc. She looked shocked and asked if I was serious.

She ended up stomping off and leaving and texted me later to tell me that she’s “around” if I want to apologize for making HER feel bad about taking her sister on a “bonding” trip.

I’m honestly heartbroken that I’m going to be watching “my” show on a grainy livestream instead of being there in the stadium with everyone. I was looking forward to this so much.

I checked the resale sites and had a sad little cry about it. I am wondering if I am completely wrong to have just uninvited her. Is that too far? If it was in, say, a month or two, I don’t think I would have. I just need time?

Later, OP edited the post to include:

Hi everyone and thank you for the responses so far. I just wanted to follow this up by saying that I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not going to sue her over this. I don't really think that is a normal reaction or something that I would enjoy doing. Please don't hate me.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Existing_Fox_6317 said:

NTA. She didn’t get herself tickets and invite you as her guest, then uninvite you (which would still be lousy). She agreed to buy a ticket on your behalf with the understanding that you were paying for it.

That’s how groups of people buy tickets if they expect to sit together. It was your ticket. It wasn’t hers to give away. She’s a garbage friend. I’d probably never speak to her again.

notmappedout said:

NTA, and you're handling this more maturely than I would. that's a genuinely sh%tty thing to do to a friend after essentially confirming plans.

wrenwynn said:

NTA. This wasn't a case where she said "hey, I have an extra tix for the show for whoever wants to buy it" and you jumped in first. She bought it on your behalf and you paid for it. The instant you paid for it, it was YOUR ticket. Not hers. The fact that it was under her name means diddly squat once money changed hands.

Salt_Spray_Rose said:

“Sorry, but my upcoming event is meant to be a bonding experience for me and my real friends. It really means a lot to them. I knew you’d understand.” You’re definitely NTA.

Original_Breakfast36 said:

NTA I’m not a Taylor swift fan by any means but this is a really sh$tty thing to do to a close friend. She definitely could’ve told you while she was planning this and not tell you at all public event.

This was something planned for the two of you and she changed it because of her circumstances and considered you in the last minute. You don’t need to bond with siblings before you move it’s not like people leave forever?

I totally understand your pain OP as it seems this was planned specifically for the two of you, and she offered to order the tickets but you paid her. If you had known this would happen you could’ve just gotten the tix separately when you bought them. She is crappy for this, especially since I know those tix don’t run cheap and that’s a ton of money for her to just make a decision for you.

Tangled349 said:

NTA. The fact that she did it at a public event kind of felt like she was trying to manipulate how you could react to something she knew was going to be s$itty. It's a bad reflection on her as a friend and I would be super pissed too.

Trick_Delivery4609 said:

NTA. Hopefully you can get a refund for the hotel too. She knows she is a crappy friend to do this.