'AITA for not taking back the money I contributed to my sister’s wedding?'
"AITA for not taking back the money I contributed to my sister’s wedding?"
8 years ago, I contributed about $40k to my sister’s wedding. It was a gift from me, I understood it was a big gift but I just wanted her to have a great wedding, and I had made it clear multiple times to my sister that I do not expect any repayment, and that I just wanted her to have a good time. Since we were kids, she had always talked about having a picturesque wedding.
My wife was understandably not the biggest fan of me giving that much money as a gift, but the money ultimately came from my individual account so I had the final say in it.
My sister and her ex finalized their divorce proceedings last month, and my wife has been asking me to ask my sister for repayment because their marriage did not pan out. I told my wife that their marriage not panning out is irrelevant to my gift. My gift was for my sister to have her dream wedding, and her wedding was great. How their marriage panned out later is irrelevant.
We are financially very comfortable, and we have absolutely no need for $40k. Am I the AH?
Here's what people had to say:
NTA. It was a gift. So your sisters marriage didn't work out, she got to have the fairytale wedding she wanted.
PuzzledPenaltys OP responded:
Thanks. While her marriage didn't work out, I am glad she got the wedding she always dreamed about.
You are a spectacular brother!
Yeah INFO - u/PuzzledPenalties (OP) did your wife get a $40k+ wedding?
That’s what I wondered too. Totally made up scenario of course BUT Maybe his contribution allowed sis to have her dream wedding, but wifey had to budget, not get things she wanted etc cause hubby wasn’t gonna help with HER/ their dream wedding. He seems to put his sisters wants before his wife’s concerns and I doubt 40k was “nothing” to them. That's alot of money for anyone idc.
Op your wife has serious issues, its like she's been waiting to kick your sister wr it might hurt all these years. This amount of venom in someone's heart and brain is just alarming.
This, u/PuzzledPenaltys. This is a very strange position for your wife to take, especially if you guys don't need the money. She either has a mean streak that you have not noticed, or she truly dislikes your sister.
Do people who gave them other wedding presents also get their gifts back? And what about the bachelor/bachelorette parties? Anyone who contributed to those also gets some money back? It's ridiculous.
Also, if the two of them together didn't have $40K for the wedding, I doubt the sister has it now when she's facing the expense of a divorce and starting a new life. What a shitty thing to ask of someone who is already going through a shitty time. You're NTA, but your wife is an unbelievably big one.
u/PuzzledPenaltys OP ask your wife this.
I now have this mental image of a new divorce ritual where everyone who attended the wedding gets two hours in the divorcees home to take back all the wedding gifts they gave before the papers can be signed.