"AITA for taking a shower every day at 7:30am?"
For context, I (early twenties) live with my family of 5 other people (2 of which are children) and we all share one bathroom. I always take my shower at the exact same time every morning and I’m usually in the bathroom for about 20 minutes tops. Before I take my shower, I let everyone who’s awake know I’m doing so and give them the opportunity to use the bathroom.
Now, my father (nearing 50) has begun throwing a fit about this. He says, and I quote, “I have a morning routine too, I drink my coffee and I have to use the bathroom after, I don’t know when I’m gonna have to go.” He wants me to take my showers after I get home from work, instead of in the mornings, because that’s what he does.
My mother thinks I should just wake up earlier so I can take a shower at 7am, before he wakes up. I think that’s ridiculous because I don’t leave for work until 8:30am and that would mess with my entire sleeping schedule and morning routine.
I’d be sitting here with my thumb up my real for at least an hour before I can even leave for work. And before anyone says ‘just move out’, please just know I would if I could.
Edit:
Adding some extra info here, I USED to take a shower at 7:45am, so I’ve already pushed my time back by 15 minutes, but then I am still in there until around 7:45am-7:50am so…
Editing this again because I’m personally disregarding any message who complains that I’m an adult living with family, clearly you’re coming in here with bias. I’m one of two adult children living here and I’m the only one one who actually works.
I contribute to bills and I pay for my own stuff. It has absolutely nothing to do with this post, not everyone is afforded the same privilege as you. If you wanna witch at anyone to move out, talk to my 20 yo sister who refuses to move in with her boyfriend she hates and won’t get a job because of ‘social anxiety’, which I offered to help get her therapy for.
Final edit for clarification.
The 20 minutes isn’t JUST shower time. I use the bathroom, brush my teeth, shave and shower in 20 minutes. Second of all, no I don’t pay rent or utilities (which is 500 a month as far as I know) my dad pays that and we both buy food for the house.
Yes he pays for stuff besides that when we need it like appliances and things but I can’t really account for that in a monthly rate and some of that stuff was bought over 15 years ago. I’m not including either of our car payments or anything of that sort because I don’t know that information nor does his decision to own two trucks effect me.
Without going into detail, I do contribute about $650 a month across everything I help with, give or take a hundred. (Storage, food, animal care, etc.) And again, I’m one of two adult children living here and the only one contributing ANYTHING at all. Not that any of this has to do with my bathroom usage.
Final final edit:
My dad is his own boss. He can wake up and leave for work whenever he wants to, usually NINE.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
ESH. To be honest it's a little hard to judge here. We don't know when everyone leaves or needs the bathroom. That said, it is somewhat inconsiderate to use that much time in the bathroom during a high demand period in a large household.
Your dad has a fair point, even if he doesn't communicate it well, and these things get... less predictable as we age. Maybe an alternative would be to take shorter showers?
YTA I say this lightly because I don’t think this makes you a literal AH BUT when you share a house with other people you have to make compromises and accommodations. It does not matter how long you’ve been doing it.
If you expect them to meet your schedule demands why can’t you meet theirs? I’m sure there is a compromise that can be reached and honestly if taking a shower every morning is important to you I don’t think waking up a little earlier is a huge ask.
NTA. Your routine is well known by this point, and you give people the opportunity to use the bathroom before you shower. I don't think waking up 30 minutes earlier is going to make much of a difference because your father wants you to shower in the evening. For the sake of peace and a little good faith, you could try waking up at 7 (or 7:15) and see how it plays out.
People thinking 20 minutes is a long shower are y'all ok?
These comments are tripping me out. A 20 minute shower is NOT long?? Washing your hair, body, maybe shaving or whatever the routine is, using the bathroom for 20 minutes at the same time everyday is probably the most convenient way to do it. If your dad has to potty immediately after drinking his coffee, he can wait 10 minutes into your shower and start drinking it so when you’re done he can go right in.
NTA, you’re not just living with family, you’re an adult sharing space with other adults and it sounds like paying your share, I see no reason he can’t also be an adult and make sure if he’s going to eat or drink something he KNOWS upsets his stomach, he’s doing so when he knows the bathroom is available.
It's so funny to see how United Stateans think "well why you're a full adult living with your parents???" is a valid argument, when it's just absurd. Idk man, life ain't a peach, you guys prefer your children to live in cars in the street than letting them live in a house because they're "grown" now. The hell is wrong with you.
NTA. Everyone in the house has a routine. Having 1 bathroom in a house of 5 is actually nuts? But all in all, in my country, old houses used to have one bath and... Nobody died for waiting.
It is inconvenient? Yeah. But EVERYONE deserves some private time in the bathroom. Twenty minutes is actually nothing. OP can shower at any time of the day, but they want to shower in the morning. Period.
If they were using the bathroom for an hour while everybody waited, that would be a issue. And people don't need to pay bills in the house to be treated as human beings with needs.