'AITA for taking a DNA test against my family's wishes in order to claim my inheritance?'

"AITA For Taking A DNA Text Against My (Paternal) Family's Wishes?"

I (21f) had a rich grandfather who died recently and I didn't know him very well. He divorced my grandmother when my dad was 13 and barely spoke to him or his siblings for a few years after that. My aunts and uncle never why and felt really rejected by my grandfather's lack of interest in seeing them on a regular basis.

When my dad was 18 he reached out to my grandfather and reconnected with him. Eventually, my grandfather was able to somewhat mend his relationship with my dad's other siblings and he even paid for their college. However, my grandfather and grandmother were still pretty bitter towards each other but never told anyone why or the reason for the divorce.

They didn't really stop being openly hostile to each other until my dad died when I was 4. Now that my grandfather's dead the secret came out when the will was read. Apparently my grandma had an affair and when she was pregnant with aunt she didn't know who the father was but choose my grandfather because he was the most financially stable.

My grandfather didn't know for the longest time until he caught my grandmother in another affair and found an old letter her first lover sent that she kept. He was furious and filed for divorce and used every legal although not very ethical trick in the book to hoard as much of the assets and resources as he could.

The will stated that before each child could claim their share of the inheritance they would have to take a DNA test to prove that they were his biological child. To any child that refused the test or they were proven not to be biologically related to my grandfather, then they would just be given $5,000 while the rest would be allocated to the children who were proven to be his biological child.

We were all shocked and grandma was livid. There were a lot of fights but in the end everyone wanted to present a "united front" and just try and find some kind of loophole, claim the money and then take a DNA test. I never agreed to that and resented being told what to do as a legal adult.

I tried to talk to them about it but they shut me down twice. My uncle's wife even accused me of not really being my dad's kid so I shouldn't get any money anyway. That pissed me off so I just took the DNA test outta spite and I am my grandfather's biological grandchild so as of right now I'm getting most of the money.

My paternal side was really angry with me. It's now started this domino effect where everyone is starting to fight with everyone and now that the euphoria of showing up my uncle's wife is wearing off I'm starting to feel guilty because of how it's effecting my cousins so AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

yay_darkness said:

NTA. This was a stupid game and everyone won the stupid prize. The family sounds ridiculous and your aunt opened her yap and got a mouthful of her own crap to chew on. It sounds like there's a lot going on, but if they want to fight over the will, it's likely because some of them already know they don't fit into the terms and just want the money.

They could all be related, for all they know. You're just abiding by the terms of the will and in the end, you also got a little back at someone who was unnecessarily cruel to you. Too bad for her.

LittelFoxicorn said:

NTA. It was your grandfathers wish, so if anything he is the A. And your aunt sounds like a nasty piece of work. Also, the rest of your family has the choise to do the same and get tested.

If it is a f*ck ton of money however, you might concider setting up a college fund for your nephews and nieces, one that the aunt can't touch. It would be a nice gesture from you that might unify the family while respecting your grandfathers wishes.

Dangerfyeld said:

NTA. Your grandmother had repeated affairs and faced consequences. Now they'd much rather find a loophole than come together as a family and pool what money they get. Shows they neither trust nor really like each other. They viewed you stepping out as a threat and showed them are reprehensible people.

Hellbound_Life said:

NTA you don’t need their permission to get a DNA test.

ruiva1 said:

NTA no one is entitled to his money. Had grandpa chosen only some of his children to give money to, that would have been his choice. He made a choice. I do have a feeling your aunt knows she's not his bio kid and therefore is pressuring the family to not comply

horsendogguy said:

I don't understand all the nasty comments about grandpa. We regularly see posts on here from men who found out their SO cheated and they are not the father of a child, and the overwhelming majority of commenters consistently assure the poster it's ok to kick the kid to the curb unless a relationship has developed, in which case the kid should only be kicked to the curb gently.

I've never seen people tell the devastated not-the-father told he should still treat the children who are not his equally with his own. "Not your kid; not your problem." That's all gramps did; he provided for the kids that are his progeny but not for those who are not. So what's your problem? NTA

She later shared these edits to her original post to clarify some things:

Edit: Okay I just wanted to clarify somethings.

A) Already stated this but, my dad died before my grandfather so his opinion doesn't matter.

B) My grandmother, aunts and uncle never liked my mom and were always passive-aggressive towards her. Even after my dad died they still weren't very nice to her. What my aunt said was the final straw that broke the camel's back.

C) I wasn't apart of the decision to not take the DNA test. Everyone else had been having meetings and just told me in a very Authoritative way what was going happen. Like my opinion didn't matter. If they would've asked me to join their choice I would've done so.

D) If I turn out to be the only one who ends up getting the money I have no problem setting up a small trust with my cousins at the very least. The only person I would 100% not give a solid dime to is my uncle's wife. Pretty sure that woman is a bigot and I'm biracial.

E) Because someone asked, while I did like my grandfather and care about my cousins I am much more closer to my maternal side than my paternal side. Again, a lot of that has to do with the fact that they didn't like my mom.

F) From my understanding combining the money, properties, and other assets the appraised value is around $4.2 million.

G) Everyone has up to a year to comply to the DNA test. If everyone had refused, assuming there wasn't a loophole to exploit, each person would get just the $5k and the rest would've gone to charities that my grandfather felt deserved it.

H) The reason why they haven't all taken the test yet was because my grandma doesn't want them too. She denies everything that my grandfather is accusing her of and says that the letter provided is a fake. She's too insulted by the mere accusation and thinks that if her children do it then they're doubting her integrity while also giving into my grandpa's manipulation "from beyond the grave."