'AITA for taking a job with my dad's biggest client meaning he won’t get anymore work with them?' UPDATED

"WIBTA for taking a job with my dad's biggest client meaning he won’t get anymore work with them?"

My dad has a business that me and my brother work for. My dad wants to leave the family business entirely to my older brother. He says it makes the most sense because my older brother is his oldest child and has been in this business the longest.

He has a business degree, and knows much more about the business side of this work.

While I do the physical aspect of the job very well I was a bit impulsive when I was younger, so he doesn’t think it would be a good idea for me to be in charge.

To be honest I don’t think it would be either, but considering how much I contribute to this business and that I am his son too I think I should at least get some say in the future of the business and a stake in the company. Not even half, but some. In the end my father said no, but that I would get some money after he died.

The whole thing really pissed me off and I was starting to get bitter continuing to work there and be around them so I gave my two weeks notice. I’ve just been trying to keep a neutral demeanor the whole time. This week is my last week and Jared, the guy that represents our biggest client was asking if I could take care of this other project next week.

So I told him I would pass that along to my brother, but that I’m not going to be working here next week. Jared and I talk a lot and are pretty friendly with each other because I’m the one that mostly works this job. We’ve actually hung out outside of work a few times. So he asked why I was leaving. I just said for personal reasons.

He asks where I was going to be working and I told him I wasn’t sure yet because there’s not a lot of business that need employees with my skills. Anyway today while I’m working Jared’s boss comes down and asks me if I will consider working for them. He said he’s been thinking for awhile of doing all this work in house, but has been having trouble finding someone experience since it’s such a specialized field.

He said he’s always been very happy with my work and that’s why they always request me. He offered me a three year contract and the salary is so much more than I would ever have made at my dads company plus it comes with benefits and an office. Not sure what I’ll do with an office, but that seems pretty cool.

I also get to pick out the equipment and I can hire two employees to work under me.

Overall it’s an amazing deal, but I know that losing this client will hit my families business hard. At the same time its not like I was asking for it or trying to steal their client. He was the one that came to me and wanted me.

I thought about maybe using this as a bargaining chip with my dad to get some say and stake in the company, but honestly I don’t want to get it that way and I just don’t want to work with either of them anymore.

Edit. I really regret putting the whole bargaining chip in this post. People seem to keep focusing on me doing that when I say right afterward that’s I don’t want to and don’t want to even work with them anymore. It was just a fleeting thought guys.

Edit 2. Seriously guys not actually planning on bargaining or negotiating with my dad or brother.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Omnisid wrote:

NAH. It's not personal, it's just business. If he's been thinking about looking for someone specialized in the field, he could have left from your dad's firm at any moment once said person would have shown up. Will it be awkward or will your family be upset? Maybe, but you gave your notice and they haven't attempted to retain you.

You would be TA if you tried to leverage this, but as is, you gave your notice, the client was looking for someone to employ. Anyone who has ever employed anyone or had clients knows that people leave or make choices that you may disagree with.

Deranged_Papaya wrote:

Just want to second this, but OP please don't use this as leverage or anything like that.

OP responded:

Don’t worry. It was just a fleeting though. O don’t want to work with either of them anymore.

anonamoose wrote:

NTA. Your dad was being completely unfair. You now have an awesome opportunity, go for it. I would, however, check any employment contracts you have and make sure you're doing it by the book. For example, my old contract stated I couldn't work in a competitor business until 6 months after I left my old place.

OP responded:

I pretty sure mine didn’t have any competitor clause. It’s was really short. Like two paragraphs long, I’ll check again later though when I get back to the office.

[deleted] wrote:

Info: do you know how much money they pay your dad's company for the work? The new company may be taking advantage of you and your family by hiring you and quitting business with your dad?

OP responded:

They definitely pay my dad's company a lot more to do the work. But the salary they’re offering me is more than what the high end of someone in my position normally makes. I wouldn’t expect to make as much as a subcontractor would since I’m not the one paying for all the expenses and equipment.

Jilter86 wrote:

NTA. Obviously Jared and his company respect/value your work more than your brother AND father. I cant believe your brother didnt even try to foght for you to get some kind of stake in the company. I would be pissed. Like everyone else has said, youre just another employee. Screw that. FLIP SIDE...if you take this job, be prepared for your father to take you off his will and you may get nothing.

Seems like a good possibility of this happening from the way it sounds. Dont let that stop you from taking a great job oppurtunity. I would take the job offer! I wouldnt start for a couple weeks after you left though. Then tell your father and brother about a week before you started. I would also ask Jared and his company if they think after 3 years theyre going to renew contracts and keep the position.

Basically find out how secure the job is in the future with the new company. KEEP US UPDATED! I am very curious on how this plays out. BTW, you putting your 2 week notice in and they didn't even try to retain you says something.

A. They think you'll come crawling back and they're your only choice. B. They don't care. C. Maybe they think you was trying to use your 2 weeks as bargaining chip to get a stake, and they showed that they wasn't budging on decision.

OP responded:

When I put in my two weeks notice they did offer me a small salary bump, but that honestly felt more like an insult at this point.

[deleted] wrote:

INFO I'm guessing the guy has the choice of hiring you or you dad's company? In which case of course he came to you. He's saving money buying your work directly. Make sure you're actually getting paid what you're worth!

They're definitely paying you less than they paid your dad, that's why they're hiring you directly. Do you know how much your dad was charging them? Hopefully it's reasonably close to what you're getting paid.

OP responded:

The pay is significantly less than what my dad charges, but considering that I’m not going to be paying for any of the business expenses or the equipment like my dad does the pay is very generous.

A little over a month later, OP shared an update.

So it’s been a while since my first post and things have been settled. I felt like the a good amount of ya’ll said it was okay to take the job. There were a few that said I should give my dad and brother a heads up that this was all happening before I accepted the job so as not to blindside them.

So that’s what I did the day after I made my original post. The talk itself didn’t go so smoothly though. They got pretty angry. My dad said this was a reason why it would have been bad to give me part of the business because I’m selfish and only think of myself when he’s trying to keep over a dozen people employed.

My brother said I was basically betraying the family because I didn’t get something that I didn’t really deserve from them. I didn’t exactly want to stay around them anymore after that so I just walked out early that day and decided not to finish out the rest of the week that I was going to. Later I called to formally accept the job.

The equipment we ordered only came last week so I was basically just been paid to stay at home and do nothing for the first few weeks. It was actually nice to have a break from everything before diving into work again. It’s been pretty great at the new place though. My new workspace is a lot different (nicer) from my dads shop. It’s wide and open.

It has air conditioning, assigned parking so no more fighting for a spot on the street. The office they gave me isn’t huge, but it’s also nice. Like I said in my previous post I don’t have much use for an office, but it’s still a nice to have a private place to myself, especially one with a mini fridge.

Overall I definitely feel much more appreciated here than I ever felt working with my dad. Speaking of which I haven’t talked to my dad or brother since and I don’t think I will. I had heard from Jared that right after I had left after talking to them about the job they had called my new boss and tried to deter him from hiring me.

I also heard from a cousin that my dads business isn’t doing so well right now and they had to let some people go and are downsizing. Some of their other clients had shutdown their businesses due to c0vid. So that combined with losing their big client permanently hit them hard.

Anyway there not much more to say than that. Many of you were right in that it all likely did permanently damage my relationship with my father and brother, but I still want to say thank you to everyone who encouraged me to take the job.

The internet was thoroughly invested in the update.

Splatterfilm wrote:

Congrats on the new job! Its bad business to rely so heavily on a single client/vendor/product. That’s your dad and brother’s faults. Calling your new boss to badmouth you reflect VERY poorly on them. I doubt Jared is going to recommend them to anyone who needs the service they offer after that. Enjoy your new office (with mini fridge?! Me jealous!).

OP responded:

Lol, the mini fridge is honestly one of my favorite things about the new place.

[deleted] wrote:

In the original post you said you'd be able to hire a couple of people to work under you. Any chance you can hire two people that were laid off from the family business?

OP responded:

I actually already hired people before I found out about the layoffs.

anoncommenter34 wrote:

"My dad said this was a reason why it would have been bad to give me part of the business because I’m selfish and only think of myself when he’s trying to keep over a dozen people employed. My brother said I was basically betraying the family because I didn’t get something that I didn’t really deserve from them."

They're mixing up cause and effect. Business partners are responsible for looking out for the wellbeing of the business, employees are responsible for doing a job in return for money. Your father and brother made a decision that you are an employee instead of a business partner, and now they're mad at you for acting like an employee instead of a business partner.

If they actually wanted you to act in the best interests of the business instead of seeking the highest pay and best working conditions for the job you are paid to do, they should have cut you in as a part owner so that it would actually be one of your responsibilities.

lamalamalooloo wrote:

It's unfortunate that your dad and brother didn't consider the potential consequences of their decision. I'm sorry they have chosen to make all of this your fault, blaming you for looking after yourself and your own future. I wish you the best of luck in the new job, and hope that your family will eventually be able to mend things.