"AITA for asking a woman to leave when her kid was crying?"
This past weekend I (F17) went to go see a ballet in a fancy hall and generally for people who enjoy that stuff. I go every year with my family. The theater goes over rules and stuff like no phones or video recording and where the exit doors are if you need to leave during the performance.
Here’s the situation: I end up seated on the edge of my family, so i’m sitting next to my sister on the right but on the left is a stranger. she looks to be maybe early 30’s or late 20’s.
She came rushing in right as the lights were dimming with her husband and two kids. one looked to be maybe 8f and the other probably 3 or 4m. The 8 year old was fine, she seemed happy to be there and was wearing a crown and everything (no hate, just cute lil tidbit)
Anyways, the mom has a huge purse that is stuffed to the brim. I couldn’t tell when she sat down but as soon as the opening act came up she started pulling kids toys out and coloring pages.
They weren’t flashy or noisy, but the 3 or 4 year old boy didn’t seem interested and just kept (quietly) talking away. The mom kept trying to shush him, I wasn’t upset at this point because I how kids can be.
However, towards intermission the kid is getting restless and he starts fussing. not mad about it, kids are kids. Others are giving her looks but she’s desperately trying to distract him. The dad is trying to help as well but it didn’t look like much was helping.
Intermission starts and I assumed the lady would’ve been able to calm her kid a bit, but when intermission ends and the second act comes up she comes in late with her son still fussing but louder. About 20 minutes later he starts full on wailing, and she just keeps going “shhhh shhhh” while holding him.
At this point I'm getting sort of upset, there’s tvs in the hallway so you’re only missing time moving from your seat. She can still watch the ballet in the hallway while calming her kid. He might have been overwhelmed but idk. anyways, I kind of lean over and ask “I’m sorry but he’s being kind of fussy, did you know there’s tvs in the hallway?”
Not outright asking her to leave but kind of trying to nudge her out. the boy is full meltdown now, kicking other seats and jumping up and down. She told me I wouldn’t understand because I'm a teenager but kids are harder to take care of than a phone (like what…) she continues to sit while trying to entertain him but then he starts saying potty potty potty and she leaves. when they come back he’s chill the rest of the time.
My parents agreed with me and how disruptive it was but told me i didn’t have a right to tell or ask her that cuz im a teenager and im not supposed to talk to adults like that. they didn’t have to sit next to a wailing kid. my point is, why spend money on something that clearly isn’t kid friendly.
Her 8f kid was excited to be there, which is fine and the kid was well behaved. but a 3-4 year old isn’t gonna understand or wanna sit still for 1.5+ hours to watch a ballet with no words. Aita?
EDIT to add: This was the nutcracker in seattle at mccaw hall. There were ushers, but the whole night ticket entry and food purchases seemed crazily slow. I get the feeling they may have been understaffed as getting to my seat I only saw two ushers total.
I feel getting up and talking to an usher would’ve been even more disruptive, as i was in the middle ish of the row and would’ve required me to squish by others to get to an usher and squish by them again to get back to my seat.
It’s a popular performance hall in Seattle. I appreciate the comments saying I should’ve just moved, but there physically was not another place for me or the other members of my family to move to…
Since some are confused I wasn’t telling her to go watch a random tv show in the hall, its a monitor of the live performance inside the theater. She would be watching in real time what’s going on music wise and stage wise.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
AnarchoChicano said:
NTA - thank you for enforcing the social contract. You can talk to adults like that whenever it is warranted (as in this situation). Everyone else here (your parents included) is just coping with the fact that it took a 17 year old to tell them what the right move was.
bathroomstallghost said:
NTA she was being rude to everyone attending.
Emergency_Kiwi_2339 said:
NTA. Part of a parent's job is teaching children how to behave. How can she properly teach her child how to behave if she isn't really behaving very well herself. It is normal and expected that adults with crying children take them out during any type of presentation or event. They even recommend you take your baby out during church, if God doesn't want to hear your baby cry, the rest of us sure don't.
Katana1369 said:
You are allowed to talk to an adult who is allowing their child to ruin it for everyone. NTA.
mc87 said:
NTA There is no way in hell I would sit in there with my kid crying like that, these people were AH's for not leaving as soon as it started.
Unhappy-Raise-6528 said:
NTA - I would’ve said something even sooner. She’s embarrassed. If she wasn’t, she would not have deflected the problem your way like that.